and then we saw the girls from the magazine moving off in a row, one cab after another, like a wedding party with nothing but bridesmaids.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730800994/

i guess i should just start viewing dudes as jobs. so even though the thing with the dude might be sort of kind of over (who fucking knows anymore) the job isn’t done yet as in the material, the content, meat of the job, and the show must go on as they say so in other news, i do not fucking care anymore. i have to get out of my head about it, less cerebral more ballzy. only a few cool people will get that reference but anyway here is my stupid fucking life. i don’t know why i hoard all these man pictures. i don’t photograph every person that comes into my life, significant or not. lately i have learned in many hard ways that everything i put on here, big or small, IS significant. sometimes you cannot even make a joke. it’s not worth making assholes laugh because it only gives you a headache. i keep forgetting this. but oh how i love to laugh.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730157833/in/photostream/

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i just told a guy on plenty of fish that we couldn’t go to a specific bar because i had banged one of the bartenders and one of the regulars (months ago)(pretty sure if the one found out about the other…) that is my dating approach now. the more of a challenge you present yourself as, the more they want you. i also am purposely game ruining because i’m not taking it seriously. i get a sense from just looking at a photo that something will piss me off about this person and i get pre-emptively angry at them so i paint myself in a disgusting light and they’re like can i have some more please? and you’re like sure here take it and they still want you. guys if a girl does this it means she isn’t feeling it, or she’s in love with someone else. i told date last nite before i met up with him that i was sort of seeing someone and after whining for five minutes what does he do? cancels on the other girl who IS eligible, to meet me. women are attracted to assholes. so are men. though a woman’s asshole is considered crazy whereas a guy’s asshole is just asshole. women get the crazy stigma like crazy. unjust. maybe it’s because dudes really are attracted to crazy. they’re all fixers. savers. controllers. another thing, there’s crazy and then there’s unstable. know how to spot the difference.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730158811/in/photostream/

i amended my profile and added all the shitty things i said in my blog post and now i’m being assaulted with messages all over again. same stupid pictures though.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730802814/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730803162/in/photostream/

i told beast i should make this my new profile photo and caption it: ONE TROPHY GIRLFRIEND INSERT YOUR PHOTO HERE and have a shadow cut out of a man on the stoop beside me. i think it would work. trophy girlfriend singles dating site advertisement chock full of nothing but useless boring blonds with designer purses who do nothing but shop and bitch about dinner.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730803512/in/photostream/

i am only blogging this because i look oh so adorable. cropping him out ugh like i have the attention span or time for that also remember how i said up there i don’t care anymore.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730803836/in/photostream/

i even tried to recreate how my head looks when i am kissing i wanted to share it with you so badly without cockblocking myself.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730160653/in/photostream/

sort of got it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730160993/in/photostream/

lost it.

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am i pouting here?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730161995/in/photostream/

someone tried to say i had no ass. um, are you fucking retarded? LOOK!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730805770/in/photostream/

no one can borrow those shorts ever they are perfectly melded to the form of my body. do you think i care how sick of them you are? PMS!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730162573/in/photostream/

what is this three’s company much? all i need is a tit job. speaking of i’m supposed to be pamela andersen in our upcoming harlettes show JULY 4th at revival.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730162909/in/photostream/

rose said every day she got through the master cleanse she would treat herself to something. upon hearing treat i was like WHAT A COOKIE OMG IM STARVING. so i bought two pairs of shoes yesterday then cheated anyway NICE.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730163589/in/photostream/

not right with this get-up but with something else they will be.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730163987/in/photostream/

rena said they were doing 2 for 40 last week. i was like give me that please. she said it was actually second pair half off. i finagled 20%.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730807862/in/photostream/

i am going to drink an entire bottle of pimm’s when i’m done this fucking fast.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730808250/in/photostream/

maple syrup bottle is almost killed.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730808604/in/photostream/

drank at LEAST 8 half litres yesterday. swallowed gum accidentally on purpose too. also, what about vitamins? is that cheating?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730165495/in/photostream/

keeping busy moving around made not eating possible. coffee and dandelion tea up down the stairs patio kitchen downstairs back again.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730165823/in/photostream/

kitchen people laughing at my suffering. offering off the menu food like crazy. this is red beans and condensed milk on ice. ICE! so smart. norman better make me this next week.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730166547/in/photostream/

meanwhile in i hate my life town.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730166895/in/photostream/

wearing white shoes at work is the dumbest thing ever. don’t care feet were killing. necessary. why do you think i bought them?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730810774/in/photostream/

cinnamon allegedly staves hunger pangs and if you say it’s cheating i will stab you in the eye with my finger.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730811116/in/photostream/

i wrote that saturday and this gastank family loved it and me so much. i love when all my little autistic quips are appreciated, mostly cos they’re unexpected then people are like YOU INVENTED PERSONALITIES HERE’S A HUUUGE TIP. the answer is 5 or 6 drinks. i need to google another bar riddle. those pin-up girls are from my personal collection. i was going to make a collage out of them once when i thought i had enough hours in my day.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730167931/in/photostream/

my cousin showed up. she’s in a bit of a (stress-induced) mania at the moment. it’s taboo to talk about but i don’t care. i feel for her. i’ve been there. you have to steer the conversation and when they constantly apologize over being hyper and feeling immense and endless guilt you really have to let them know it isn’t a big deal at all. don’t let them have any caffeine either and force them to sleep. she’s lost 100lbs!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730168251/in/photostream/

i told her i couldn’t babysit her stuff so don’t leave anything of value on the patio. she wrote me a note. manic people write lots of notes because they often forget the one thing they wanted to tell you because it gets lost in the ten other things they’re distracted by. i was very touched to see her yesterday and also angry at everyone else, i felt very protective, also pissed off by some family members. i don’t care if i’m inviting yet more drama into my life with writing this here. i feel strongly about this shit as i have suffered from what she’s going through now. basically just try to bring it you guys haha good luck.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730812090/in/photostream/

we have a new menu and it’s 35% off before 5 every day. i haven’t been able to have any of it though. well i tried the vegetarian poutine last week and it’s amazing. these vegetarians died of happiness yesterday. it’s mushroom and a whole bunch of other stuff that i forget-based.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730812426/in/photostream/

finally saw corey (and krista) yesterday (and peter little have fun in germany!) they’ve been central lushes for awhile now and we’ve never crossed paths. these guys are giants i am on my tip toes.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730812772/in/photostream/

i don’t think i can get over how dumb i look with pigtails what am i a cabbage patch kid? it was hot my hair was messed from sleeping with them in the nite prior and i kind of dress like an idiot at work now it’s like my personal uniform.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730812906/in/photostream/

the things that go on there when i’m not around, no idea. always a laugh though.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4730819240/in/photostream/

alright time for some REAL work now, my seafood for thoughts. hyuck.

i keep getting boredom stings and think ok i’ll just go out to eat but then i remember i can’t! this happens every 4 minutes so every 4 minutes i get really bummed.