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diet riot

one of the massive headaches that comes along with dieting is listening to everyone else about it like leave me alone i am already suffering enough here. incredible. under the guise of “concern” you get preachy what-fors you did not ask for. how many times have i blogged about dieting and how many times has it worked? each and every time. i ballooned up to 160lbs for crying out loud and brought myself down out of that hell. not a one of my detractors had ever dieted successfully in their lives too. the thing is, yes it’s unhealthy, and that is how you get results. that’s the way of the world and our bodies. the world is not kind to fat chicks. i can’t even do a bullshit cleanse for half a day without battling handfuls of opinions on it i didn’t ask for.

i don’t like my body so i’m changing it. will i stick to this stupid cleanse i do not know. is it any of your fucking business? no. just because you are addicted to my stupid life doesn’t mean you have any rights here. making it personal too, not cool. do you think i am dieting for anyone other than myself? do you think i blog for anyone other than myself? do i live my life for anyone other than myself?

i should have seen this coming. stupidly, i had assumed we all knew how stubborn i was and how unnecessary trying to sway me away from what i set out to do is and then having the audacity to cop a ‘tude about it. leaving me anonymous comments about it when i have to deal with you in the real world? really? say it to my face. i put up with so much bitchy so much fucking bitchy i have had e-fucking-nough. trying to insult me out of this cleanse? trying to shame me? do you think i feel stupid at all? ever? did i come to you explicitly for advice? i am pretty sure that i didn’t.

anyway, i feel this cleanse is loads healthier than the other diets i’ve done cos i’m cutting out booze which is the number one reason why i’m doing this at all. it’s a means to trim that out and the biggest issue i have had for many years and what comes along with it is sugar cravings aka i cannot stop eating cravings. a strict fast with rules and guidelines is precisely the way i can do this and what it has to do with you i have not a fucking clue aside from the fact that you insist to read and judge my every move.

and now, icing on the cake, i have to go off it for the day to stuff my face. i did a thousand sit ups yesterday so my entire torso is sore from that making me feel even more bloated.

to add insult to injury i already hate this fast. it is boring. watching the road yesterday and alice in wonderland i thought about food so fucking much i felt mad. i sucked on campino candies and ground them into delicious paste. i switch-hit between the lemonaid drink (yes it’s good i said that already learn how to read) and dandelion tea (you are allowed non-caffeine herbal teas) and went to bed early, 11.30. that’s early for me.

i don’t care what you think about my body or my weight or how i look now or then or future. i do not stick my face in other people’s business because i have respect and also, my OWN life. if someone says they are going to eat nothing but popcorn for a week COOL GO FOR IT what capacity of influence do i have over that person, how arrogant would i be to assume i could stop them? the same goes for you. you told me once, i listened, now move on.

i wasn’t even going to mention it until i finished it because it’s super boring to read about trust me i know but i figured there’d be some wieners who might find some enjoyment from my self-inflicted plight so i went for it.

for the record, when i put something here it’s here just to be here not for a town hall meeting. i am not asking for anything. this is my venting box and it just so happens that thousands read it daily. if i was ever concerned over my image one would think i wouldn’t post shit like this. but i’m not, so i do, and THAT is why i have a following. i am not a faker. i live with my heart and life on my sleeve and that’s the way it should be.

also, perhaps your concern should be directed at the legitimate waifs in the city who have been quietly yet publicly starving themselves and wasting away in front of your eyes in their tired old scene and blogs.

HOW I GOT SKINNY read that for a refresher. bookmark it ladies i am tired of being asked for this post and the one i link to in it over and over and over again.


yo dude i did the master cleanse thing for a week last week, you lose a pound a day, no fail and you don’t feel hungry or deprived after day 3, and its fucking easy and good for you, cause I don’t know my hair and skin and nails have never been so healthy looking and if thats a sign of sickness then fuckin bring it, I would have gone the 10 days or more easy but someone made ma a pie and I felt guilty letting it spoil. CLASSIC FAIL STORY!

Anyway get yourself through day 3 and it feels like you can go forever. Don’t skip the ease-out process cause you won’t shit for a week. live and learn ok!

did you do it with laxatives too?

I got those natural laxatives the senna leaf thing, its at shoppers drug mart and its like $5 – don’t get the chemical shit, it’ll give you lazy bowels (where your body is like, shits? what’s that? i don’t do that anymore, ex lax does it for em) but yeah i started the laxatives on day 2 took it at night then woke up and whoooa everything is gone and then the fas\t feels way better cause you feel really light and like Yes this is working!

I didn’t do the saltwater flush, too scared thta my kidneys will absorb that shit.

Anyway avoid all sugars if you can even in coffee if you have to eat make sure its like a cup of broth or juice or anything you think will liquefy easy in theory, fiber will just hurt your stomach (cause the laxatives flush out the enzymes that breakup food its seriously painful stuff)

Its slow to start but its so worth it not feeling hngry on day 4 and on, you’re just walking on sunshine or whatever, the headaches leave and you have energy and your head is CLEAR nothing like the first 2 days. Your body starts running off of its own fat reserves which i think it likes the best and your skin will be dewy I fucking look better without foundation now thats HOW!

OK so do it fuck the haters

Whoever commented the sagging skin/dark circles thing is so off I have never felt/slept/looked better and more vital (ha ha), people are animals, we can go 3 months without food, lookup some of the youtube blogs about the master cleanse actually look at ANY of them, none has any complaints whatsoever.

36 thoughts on “diet riot

  1. I agree with you. The ONLY way I ever effectively lose weight is to guzzle water, not drink booze and eat pretty much nothing. I don’t want to exercise like mad and all that other crap you are supposed to do to lose weight nicely and it doesn’t work for me anyway and if it doesn’t work for you either, more power to you to do what you want/need to lose weight and look how you want to look. God, by today’s standards I am a fucking cow linebacker so it pisses me off when people give me a hard time about how I want to lose weight, I can only imagine you are ready to start cracking skulls.

    Usually, the people who give you a hard time about this stuff have never experienced the rewards of looking good or they have long given up and now want everyone else to as well so they can feel better about their boring, wide-load suburban life with bratty children and a disinterested husband.

  2. i am insanely active. i bike i walk i dance i serve i yoga stretch i everything. this has fuck all to do with laziness and eating 4 healthy little meals a day or whatever other insanity to get 2lbs off. bullshit. i know my body and its limits.

  3. yes activity, lots of people don’t actually DO stuff, so if you aren’t going to the gym and running like a rat on a wheel they figure you aren’t doing anything at all. Retarded.

    BUT, you shouldn’t even have to justify that, right? That’s the part that’s super fucking annoying.

  4. You look great the way you are already
    don’t go too far

    that healthy salad looks nutritious and delicious
    the bad mood your diet brought on is going to scare your readers from cautioning you with truth.

  5. i am not in a bad mood. im premenstrual (forever) and everyone’s annoying me. including you. see you at one don’t be late i cannot miss that train.

  6. yea Raymi – go for the cleanse. such a struggle always to keep with in our self-set limits I’m glad you blog about it.

  7. I think the toughest thing about purposely increasing your activity levels to try to get in shape and lose weight is that it makes you damned ravenous. Seriously, it’s easier to be basically sedentary and eat little than it is to simultaneously exercise a ton and eat less than before. It’s tough. You look great already, but good luck with your goals and I hope you eventually hit that sweet spot (heh) of enjoying what you eat and maintaining the weight you want.


    I’ve done it… loved it… I don’t see the cayenne pepper on your cutting board?

    I lost 10 lbs in 8 days on it. It’s a fucking sick insane diet/cleanse… laved it!

    I have my lemons and organic maple syrup ready to go to do it again (I did it in January last)

    Unhealthy my ass… people eating crap food daily is unhealthy, this is resetting our bodies like pushing reset on a computer.

    All the power to ya… you don’t have much to lose though, fawk you’re thin, dude.

  9. Oh, and the headaches that come along with the cleanse (for me) are from coffee withdrawl… maybe you booze? or both?

    Fack it, worth the 10 days of bullshit.

    Check back in, in 10 days to see your results… ; )

  10. a hula sister of mine did the master cleanse and swears up and down by it, she said she never felt better & healthier and all that jazz. clarity of mind, boost in energy, etc. truthfully, it sounds like we all could use a cleanse.

    total sidenote & unsolicited juice recipe: same hula sister also informed us of an awesome juice concoction for pain (read: cramps & headaches) and it’s frickin’ delish: 1 lemon, 1 cucumber & 1 pear, juice all 3 and mix! :)

  11. i am not giving up coffee. drinking it black right now. on glass 2 of lemon right now. the cayenne is there on the cutting board somewhere.

  12. Yeah, after 2 days of bullshit headaches I decided a coffee or two a day was just friggin fine.

    I think people who nay-say this diet also don’t understand that its a detox cleanse, its taking all the toxins out of the system, which EVERYONE should do. Our bodies are fucking polluted with everyday shit we put in our faces.

    oh AND you feel like your goddamned best on it also. Energy levels are through the roof, sex drive is insanely high and you just feel happier and healthier.

    All the power, love.

    Have fun.

  13. I think you look great. People always get snarky when one loses weight–female jealousy is an ugly thing. At least you don’t smoke ciggies! Cheers!

  14. Oh you know the obvious; you’re a pretty girl on the internet so you’re always going to be too fat or too skinny for somebody out there who has nothing better to do than take jabs as those with 10x their self-esteem.

    I’ve gone through the same deal recently, and I’m not nearly as thin as you look like you are in your pictures. I’m 5″7, ballooned up to 170 lbs in collage (oh OCAD with your McDonalds directly outside of my figure drawing class!). I’ve since shed some fat through yoga and intense spinning classes, as well as not eating crap.. at 140 lbs I’m still wanting to go down another 10, which is perfectly healthy and will not leave me skinny. However, friends keep saying “Oh no you’ll vanish!” or “You’re already so skinny!” and try to stuff me with seconds of wine and cheese at every gathering. The same with my coworkers. Not blaming others, but if someone (my bf, a close girl friend) had told me how fat I was getting in college, I probably could have prevented it from getting as bad as it had!

    BTW.. A bowl of vegetable(mostly cabbage) soup a day seems to shed the excess water weight pretty quickly. Within a few days I’ve found.

  15. ignore the haters!

    i am 5’10 and had blown up to 170, i think? right now i’m down to 154. i’d like to get down to 140.

    i don’t even talk about it to people. one time i said something and suddenly i felt like all of my friends standing there were yelling at each other about how that’d be waaaay too skinny, i’d waste away, what am i thinking?, can they buy me a beer?

    i don’t want to accuse my own friends of wanting me to be fat to ease their own body insecurities, but i feel like deep down that has to be it. i told them i used to be 140 and no one told me i was wasting away. they said “you won’t be what you were in high school.” i said i was 140 at age 23, 24, 25. they shut up, but almost looked annoyed at me. like i was being the annoying one for keeping the conversation going and not allowing them to make their stupid comments w/ out a response.

    maybe i should do a cleanse. my friend did this one and i think lost 8 lbs. in one week. she’s also a burlesque dancer, though that isn’t relevant.

  16. oh one last thing. i’m thinking of quitting smoking cigarettes, but really scared that’ll make it way harder to lose weight and fuck if i’m going to gain some back. any tips? i remember you quitting.

  17. okay, this sounds interesting. i wanna try this out as long as you can still drink coffee with a wee bit o cream tho. can u still go to the gym when you’re on this cleanse? suppose i’ll just google it.

    take it from a fatty, whenever ANYONE says they wanna do something like go to the gym or go on a diet or do a cleanse, ppl all around you start in with the whole “you’re not fat, you look great, you don’t need to lose weight”. seriously, my two best friends and usually biggest supporters out of all my friends try to pull that with me all the time. i need to lose at least a 20 (which seems to be difficult even when i eat properly and excersize) but they poo-poo that everytime it’s brought up. ppl are assholes when it comes to you trying to improve yourself and it hurts the most when it comes from your friends.

  18. fasting is not bad for you. humans have been doing it for thousands of years, some cultures still fucking do it. it is a great way to clean out your body. its not ideal for 14 year old ana’s.. but in a controlled non mentally ill way its a good thing-in moderation. i’m not talking no food for a week.. i’m saying, a nice short clean out is good fo yo ass. just fruit and water for a few days is considered a cleanse for petes sake, gets you poo rollin like no ones biz. i hate everyone’s recommendations, including mine. do what works for you and dont faint.

  19. my pastor told ME pot made me hungry, so I should try meth instead.

    oh: Plath is OURS. but, there is room for ‘The Canadian Sylvia.’

  20. The vegetable soup clense sounds a tad healthier
    Timing the lemonade diet with PMS could end up in a complete meltdown.

    Just remember, you look great the way you are.

  21. Raymi your blog is a real gift. Everytime I think I’m the biggest asshole in the world I look at your perpetual maturbation and attention addiction and
    realize…nah…not the biggest. Number two,maybe

  22. oops sorry i’m the one who asked if it tasted good even though you said it was :S i’m always terrified to comment in the event i ask stupid shit like that, i should just stop haha. my friends did the wild rose cleanse that they bought at the gnc… said it was really great. 12lbs in 10 days! you know your body best and you have amazing willpower. even though you’re getting rude remarks, i still want to thank you for sharing this on your blog. I’m genuinely interested in this and i think you’ll do great! : )

  23. Shut up? But Raymi I wanna say something too! :)

    First of all you are lovely RL. Really. Inside and out. Except for when you yell at me. ha ha

    As far as your detox thingy, lemons will cleanse your liver which is awesome. Ex-lax doesn’t seem like the greatest idea, but the natural laxatives sound good. I am just not a fan of chemicals, and I care about you, which is why I am saying stuff rather than just ignoring this whole thing. It’s not judgment, it’s caring.

    Gage needs to chill. The angry and judgmental “boring, wide-load suburban life with bratty children and a disinterested husband.” comment is ugh. Just because somebody isn’t YOUR age, with YOUR lifestyle doesn’t mean that they are having boring, sad lives with no love/sex…come on.

    And then there’s the “female jealousy is an ugly thing” comment. My gawd chicks, can’t we stick together? And stop blaming each other? Yes, some females are jealous of other females, AND some males of other males, and females of males, and males of females…so can we please please please stop with the cat fight garbage?

    Not all females are out to attack Raymi or make her feel bad as you can clearly see in the comments here.

  24. I’m doing the same thing, except the senna purge thing. I’ve been eating no carbs for three weeks now and OH FUCK GODDAMN I want a plate of gnocchi right now, except that it’s hot as fuck out and gnocchi would put me to sleep until October.

    I’m down 12lbs. I feel good. I almost want to buy new clothes but I’m going to wait for another 10lbs to come off before I bare my legs for the first time in a decade.

  25. you need to cleanse. i can smell your ass from here. Buddhists cleanse, and they are also at some point capable of setting themselves on fire on a street corner without screaming (like one of those sissy martyr christian priests that get burned alive for their sacrilege.)
    Burning is good and you shouldn’t scream while doing it.
    Anything with jesus in it is fundamentally bad.
    been reading this book that talks about how “they” (the priests) are saying that he (jesus ya twat!) was a pole dancer in his “missing” years and that is why all priests are now these baby cock diddlers. they are THAT in tune with the spirit of our lords only child.
    hold on, i thought we were all his children.

  26. my bad. i meant (unlike). duh! any priest that has any affiliation to jesus is a god damned pussy!

  27. YOU CUT BANGS??? oh mah gawd how could you do such a thing, etc etc gasp gasp gossip gossip blarf grunt sip

  28. it IS your own life and people should leave your life alone (me included) but sometimes concern for others comes before the risk of harming the friendship. not all advice that is not asked for should be given, i agree, but i’m sure you know that some want to help, not meddle. but then again, i don’t know the sorts of responses you’ve received.

    i don’t see it as trying to get you to stop doing the master cleanse, i see it as offering that you try something else in its place that may have a similar effect. i agree with whoever said above that fasting is truly good for you, because it is, but master cleanse is not a valid fast in my books after learning about fasting the right way.

    i lost 27 pounds of fat in 1.5 months (while gaining lean muscle, which is heavier than fat) by eating 800 calories a day and exercising like a motherfucker though. gained it right back and my weight’s gone up and down those 27 pounds 10+ pounds in the last year because it fucked my body/mind/life up. body still not normal. just sharing!

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