so rich so pretty, the best piece of ass in the whole damn city

girl gang stance.

melodie raymi doll.

my feet are mangled from dancing goin’ steady to pieces. my freestyle burlesque hustle was very good saturday nite. worked those shoes in for sure. have blisters to show for it.

do not fuck with me hahaha. mel was ripped from hanging in the sun all day, i was frazzled for sure too. we went into act tough mode. we don’t give a fuck and have the best times together.

guide to raymi outfit: (i am also taking credit for this pose, what do they call that in the fashion world when you position the model?) get a tan. get a buzz on life. shortest shorts ever, the pockets could be pulled out but that’s not for everyone i understand. bikini top under tight see-through shirt, any colour. the simpler the better. if it’s a deep-v (neck) shirt then you don’t need a dangly necklace, keep it cute to go with your flintstones pebbles hairdo. shoes can be anything. always throw an extra shirt in your purse and a cardi if there’s room and sunglasses for the bike ride home in the morning cos you never know where the party’s gonna take you.

if you have longer hair pull out the front bits, it’s more playful and the best of both worlds. up yet down. frames the face in an adorable way.

check this hot way out my league jew what’s up. demanded he meet me in the west end from king club land and it was his first hipster maniac experience. pretty funny. got him railed and forced him to loosen up. take the button down off guy. good good.

now as if this didn’t depress me. hahaha. i am going to die alone a spinster i just know it. as if i’ll last that long.

on our way out i said ok if i was a cunt i wouldn’t suggest this but because i love you and more importantly i am a girl’s girl i recommend you adding suspenders to that (melodie’s) raymi outfit. i almost changed my entire look when i saw them hanging up in lucas’ room. doin’ it next time. i introduced melodie as my twin. people think we’re sisters all the time anyway. we are so alike you get a contact high from being around our witch hippie energy vibes.

story time!

we’re out front of the gladstone cooling off sharing some dope and this crazy hyper chick comes up a mile a minute droppin’ a story on me and then goes wow no sense of humour, she’s so spazzed out i don’t even have a second to react so i just laugh and melodie says no no she has a great sense of humour anyway she has this dude with her that infamously steals people’s shit, i don’t know this at the time, melodie goes hey i know you and he says don’t talk to me. TOTAL DIVA BITCH. i didn’t hear him say that don’t talk to me thing to her but all i see is my girl getting irritated which is all i need to know (i go into protective lesbian mode a lot and at the drop of a hat, i have your back) and get that he’s going diva so i say hey hey dude are you being a fucking diva right now? that is SO 2008 which humbles him into silence, he’s trying to grab at my dewbie and melodie swats his hand away and i can tell he’s about to go all obnoxious drunk asshole rant on us so i cut him off at the pass and give it to him straight. being nice is nice don’t be a dick, it’s not cool or funny or pleasant. i was mostly incensed by the cliche catty that dudes blatantly and frequently pull out and i’m putting my foot down. WE KNOW YOU’RE GAY AND FASHIONABLE AND THAT’S BRILLIANT AND OUT OF SIGHT DYNAMITE BUT CAN YOU STOP BEING A PRISSY PIECE OF SHIT DRUNK also hello grabbing guy’s dicks is sexual harassment what gives you the right? why do gay guys lose it once they get drunk? so he grabs hot jew friend’s dick right as he shows up right after practically body checking me bee-lining at him as jordan arrives. not cool. claire hugs him and i realise oh great he’s not a stranger. do i make a scene? yes i do. i say that your friend sucks and some other dumb shit, total overreaction but well-deserved as later on at wrong bar AFTER HE PISSED ALL OVER THE FRONT OF IT melodie arrived seeing emma screaming in his face and prior to that there were like 4 complaints about him all nite long. i wish i saw the emma scene, she had a broken arm not in a sling so i bet with her other hand she was probably pointing and stabbing the air with her finger and when she’s hammered you can’t understand her cos of her brit accent. i hope she gave it to him good. anyway guy, you fucking lick.

sorry claire i love you happy birthday!!! shrug!

i felt like i was so mad i could shove him. then i bumped into the girl again he was with and she was like my friend took off and my dog is locked in our car. brutal. blew it. don’t get me wrong, i love me a good diva, a diva’s diva, one who has rights to be one. i do not reward shadyness.

on a sidenote the other day meredith was being cutely bitchy in front of her friends to me and i said woah woah what? and she goes what i’m a bitch! not to me. done. dealt with. and meredith isn’t a bitch at all was just being one. difference. so, you can be a diva or a bitch diva but don’t direct it at anyone or target people, namely me, cos i will blow the fuck up about it. lately i’ve been talking about how nice i am which is incredibly hilarious when i throw it in-between all these stories about how mean i am. sorry for having standards?

new shades.

another thing lately, because i too am a hyper pack as much into my day spazz i end up meeting a lot of people and some of these people are women hanging around the people i’m meeting and so i get to deal with a shit ton of passive aggression. daily. do you know how exhausting that shit is? frankly, very. so now i do not tolerate any of it like in the story above, though it’s a lot harder with women cos it’s so under the radar cattiness. one way is to just talk about it while it’s happening to whomever else is present over top the person who is so fastidiously attempting to vibe you out. i just go OH BOO! booo. yes i’m going to fuck your boyfriend, be scared. be annoyed. suck it up baby you are a dime a dozen and i don’t have time for your shit in fact i have no ties to you in any way whatsoever so you see this? this is my back, turning to you right now. sometimes you just have to be nasty back to them. this isn’t even a case of oh raymi you’re insane and making this all up like how i used to blog the minutiae of a bad dining experience people start to think that it’s you imagining the bad experience when they read your blog for years from texas or some small town where they go out never so do not understand that the higher the frequency of going out in a city, the more chance of bad experiences. of course there are many great experiences, but those are boring to talk about.

LATER MASTURBATORS!

emma is in the flower dress, check her busted arm. aw. check my elizabethan baby-powdered roots hair i think that was like the last day after a stretch of many of not washing my hair hahaha.