getting ready for work. heartbroken and high. skinnier today than in this video, should hit the head before walkin’ around in a bra, filming self.
have a callback monday for tylenol commercial, they dug me. down to me and two other chicks i believe. it was all dudes mostly when i rolled up and i was the only girl/person with a longboard so they musta been oh hey know look at this. showed them what style was all about wearing pretty much the opposite look of what they thought they were after. one of the players said i’m edgier in real life and the photo we’re using (in my acting portfolio? what’s that shit called?) nowhere matches how wicked i am in real life. pre-bangs, totally different person. knee is still super sore, a little worried. have dance rehearsal tomorrow too. i’m hobbling up and down stairs at work and dancing all over it like the smart person that i am. fucked with my bangs kinda worried commercial people won’t be feeling it. gonna go to bed super early tomorrow night and wake up looking 24.
My Name’s Matt. I’ve been a reader of you for years. I’m doing my Thesis at Parsons: The New School for Design, on Social Subculture and Sociocultural Effects in New York City. It’s a book I’m putting together with photography, video stills and my writing. A portion of the book is about “cool bending”, the death of the word hipster, and how social media is used to define “cool”, hip and fresh. I’m a photographer, media studies student yet am writing my thesis on the above topic, to marry the two, and to get ready for a documentary I’m going to shoot based on this publication.
I was wondering if you had a few moments, to answer a few questions. You’re one of the only bloggers, I’ve followed for almost the last 6 or more years (wow, thats a lot longer than I remember) and was curious to hear some of your thoughts based on your popularity and also that i enjoy your honesty and style of writing.
If you do have time, I could write up some questions tomorrow in the AM, and send them your way. Although my documentary is written from and to New York, it’s also stressing the importance of how this subculture (or mainstream) depending on how you look it, is seen, transmitted and borrowed from all over the world, and in some cases, thats part of the next step.
If you’re wondering if I’m some creeper creeper, i actually had a friend that wrote about you, interviewed you many years ago for undergrad, shes jessica *****. shes french. blogger etc. anywho. they’ll be quasi entertaining questions for you to answer.
This would be greatly appreciated. Hope to hear from you soon!
cheers
matthew
i read this a week ago in a cab to the sound academy chugging back jamesons mixed in de-stress tea (from tattoo nerves) and now i shall attempt to answer the questions baked. last nite got sloppy. i fell asleep in all my clothes though so, i was good. BRB studs.
pictures from my old phone i passed on to melodie when i finally got a blackberry. i’m sad i lost a lot of good pics off that thing. there’s something beautifully haunting the grainy effect a cellphone camera from 2006 can produce. wow i’m fucking dyslexic. you should hear me talk, jesus. anyway, i have many pictures of this same tree taken with a digital camera that’re loads better however, it’s this shitty cellphone picture of it that makes me feel most nostalgic for this moment in time.
two summers ago? no can’t be right, last summer. anyway i don’t do this shit anymore. can’t. like, serious wig out times a million. i liked the composition of shit all over this table and how arrogantly out in the open the baggie was.
one of my last commutes from oakville just as was moving back to the gay old city.
i am so unbelievably clumsy right now if i trip or fall or walk into one more thing i’m gonna lose it.
satellite f up at brosz7’s for lost nite. it got tense.
oh that misty view. had the best bike ride home this nite the wet warm air was kissing my face all over i had zoo station cranked i was content i was coasting. music and biking is such a delight. i also sing while i bike, usually fleet foxes exclusively. i sing when i walk too. just a wandering minstrel at your service. it just makes me so happy to be in-motion so my heart feels like it has to belt one out, then one more after that. in answer to your question, yes, i am a homo.
hair is out of sorts. on a not getting laid night i kinda step off my game a bit.
hit on in the elevator all the same. the guy kinda blew it. the lifts were being temperamental, girl gets on with a pizza me with a tuna sandwich and black rice sushi, bottle of wine. guy with bottle of booze and a 6 of red stripe. he says if the elevator gets stuck at least we’ll have a party. i say lucky him, totally, two girls one dude, booze, pizza, perfect. then we’re all silent smirking at one another. as his floor comes up i go so yeah, going to a party? he says no, just himself. pause pause pause pregnant pause i throw an excruciatingly subtle i’d hit it (he was hot and wearing a newsies hat) vibe his way, floor comes up and he slowly creeps out dying for another sign i was too shy to give so off he went to get blasted alone and curse his lack of being on it. when the door closed i said to the chick wow, he blew it. she’s all, totally.
went by sass’ to grab a hoodie and my chucks. made a we miss you video that is too cheesy awkward for words (i’ll put up anyway).
hair got stupider throughout the night.
jinxed.
pre-white collar rush, perfect for bloody knees. both are swollen to shit now. dance rehearsal in an hour is going to be awesome.
yesterday was the longest ever.
need to figure out exactly which pair to get, was in too much pain to try anything on also felt like cruisin’.
not cheap but i figure i’ll end up wearing them constantly to get used to heels.
when i was 19 i almost rented a work/live-in space for a piece like this. 19 and insane and oh so much promise. i had the money for it too. shoulda done it. queen west store front hang pad month long look at me live eat sleep fuck watch tv read get high drunk installation.
totally been done before but good location for this one, good for the normies flooding the city on weekends.
doobie time. coffee two.
wimpy ponytail. coffeeshop hospitality is bizarre to me. come spend two dollars and sit for 5 hours. don’t these people get bored of that every fucking day? go sit in a tree why don’t you? boring! i can think of so many more awesome things to do with my day than sit around second cup or starbucks and ps. stop talking about kevin smith, the guy’s not funny!
coffee trois. you could just walk around and around bumping into so many people you know. RF and his bud says you lose the more people you bump into, in fact if you see someone you know you’re supposed to actively avoid them, cross the street, duck into a store. ha ha fuck that that’s bitter old man speak. you’re talking to new city eyes over here.
tried to make it less heat this time by adding yogurt, somehow came out just as heaty. feh.
so desensitized by these dudes ‘cept for when they sit in pouring rain on a vintage ride. hardcore.
saw, i kid you not, ten KITTENS the other day in an adorable parade up the fence up a branch and down the other side. heart stopped. (ps. a stick is just a branch that gave up hahaha).
woah woah hey now who’s this what’s going on? huh???
gillian you said i could.
spotty mirror really compliments the gashed nylons.
diagonal slice total happy accident.
think i’ll just wear this entire get-up to rehearsal. wore this last nite to work with booty shorts. teppei kept saying it wasn’t sexy enough (pretty sexy is what i interpret that to mean).
DJ Berger
Nice rip, Skip.
Raymi Lauren White
there’s a run in my stocking?
Xenia Anemia
umm R.I.P. tights??
Raymi Lauren White
BLOGGING THAT
really happy the lime green hippie compost bag is sticking out there. class topper.
just kidding pose cancels out everything.
i love skinny mirror.
ok that was retarded time to wash my gorgeous body BYEEEEEEEE.
see you at the exclaim party tonight, yes no maybe?
scraped my hip too for good measure. this was after the audition haha ugh was going through the financial district everything was fine then i got cocky and thought i could take this massive spider vein of streetcar tracks. no such luck. at least i know i can fly now holy fuck i took air. got up grabbed board had earbuds in so if anyone gasped i didn’t hear it. scared the shit out of a cabbie about to bank a left i was on all fours did a jump squat to right myself up and beat it the crap out of there.
chong: doesn’t look too bad
not good though
how bad was the spill?
me: bad
chong: did you look like a retard?
me: palms are sore but skin didnt break
chong: nice belt
me: i looked really good actually i made it over a ton of tracks but then this one huge cluster i didnt make it over
board stayed where it was
i flew in the air
chong: i don’t ride over tracks
me: yeah well i didnt either before today
chong: i don’t trust them
me: i wouldve made it if not for this bigger gap
chong: you were trying to look cool in front of the suits
me: i made it over a cluster of them anyway it fucking kills
people tried to rush to help me but i scrambled up too quick and immediately put weight on it which might have been a bad idea
walked it off like a champ
chong: you should have blamed it on someone
me: was listennig to music im sure i made a stupid noise
chong: people prob thought you were 16
me: i think i yelled oh fuck
yeah i look like a student in my skate clothes
but a block away and no one remembers
chong: ya, i yelled oh fuck in slow motion while i flew off my LB a couple years ago
me: suits were feelin me
that sucks
chong: i was drunk though so i didn’t feel a thing
me: ive boarded for 6 years and that is only the second time ive wiped out
chong: i’ve wiped out on my bike a few times
me: i blasted down harbord once at 3am ripped out of my mind timed it with the stoplight, super dangerous. made it thru linux cafe intersection there
chong: i’m a bit wimpy with my LB… not too good with hills
me: chick boarders stand out way more its kinda harder
yeah if i know i cant do something i stop and grab it
and just walk for awhile which is how i made my way home
smoked half a joint at one point
chong: gotta get a new one this weekend
me: yes
ill try to find my trucks for you just buy a board the whole thing is expensive mine was 300
chong: the pot prolly helped loosen you up
me: no then i went into terroni
chong: i’ll use mine from my old board
me: and immediately sobered up
also it was raining so i had to walk a bit
oh duh right
in this piece of genius we see how i injured my OTHER hip bone three evenings ago. you get the dropsies when you’re menstruating. steph can vouch for that but what’s my excuse the other 25 days of the month?
rolled a consolation dewber in the bathroom of second cup. felt right skidly.
bumped into kenny and auds, well walked by the window and we both double-taked. the blonde hair is throwin’ everyone off.
they were killing time while mr. peeps was getting groomed. i had an americano and half of kenny’s sandwich. noel sent me this article while i was there. skimmed it, assume it pretty much aligns with my personal “careful neurotic eating” diet of the past when i first shed 20lbs.
my hip is stinging. think i’ll make some leftover jerk. work at 7. it’s TIMA nite (independent music awards) which is always interesting. you should drop in.
How about something like Minx Van Manen? Van Manen means “from the moon.” Kinda mysterious.
i like Lida Hosen just fine though.
-raymi
your peeps are very creative! which ever you think suits you the best.
Its nice to have humour in it and room to play.
P.S. all the gals think you are fantastic and a wonderful addition. I have to agree.
yesterday was a lovely day, wasn’t she. i love hot wind.
i look way too much like my dad in ray(fake)bans. that’s his look. being still in raybans is too dad, in-movement (biking) they look pretty good. not to brag or anything but i got cat-called by three different dudes at the exact same time while walking my bike below the dufferin bridge. it’s the hair and the no pants i think. speaking of hair, bangs are getting pretty long and when i do a self-cut i screw them up so i’ll have to see rose soon. or maybe hold off til i need a roots touch-up. think i wanna go lighter, go gaga. why not i came this far already. at the after hours friday nite in my bunny gear these mashed chicks told me i looked awesome and sooo lady gaga. great. how about i look like me? this paragraph is just one giant jerk off note to self. DEAR WORLD I AM GREAT THE END.
contracts aren’t legal til the exchange of money. thanks guy!
kinda accidentally on purpose mislead a few twerpers yesterday. a life rights option agreement is standard procedure. this now means my guy can start pitching, legally, it’s more pro. will keep you posted surely, albeit, vaguely.
yeah i don’t think these glasses are girly enough for me.
may have to copy casie‘s faux tat bruise cover idea. i’d need like twenty of them then. how did i even get this one? my left hip is sore from dancing in my room with melodie and i danced right into the teeniest space between my bed and side dresser, i think it’s on film too.
not so bad with bangs hanging over.
wore little shorts for the bike ride. wondering why i even bothered?
thought my chicken legs looked funny.
rooms are only 129, 169 for a double bed crash pad. kinda funny if i got one, hilariously lazy and too wasted to walk my stupid ass home. they throw in a toothbrush and coffee for the morning after. solid.
my new c-list celebrity status pal. lives right around the corner. longboards. has contacts i can mooch. i make him look good when we hang. PERFECT! meet rob spence. (i am not calling you eyeborg) his other persona mr. toronto is pretty good, helps him get away with bashing other provinces. i guess going as ‘raymi the minx’ lets me get away with shit too? despite all media mentions including lauren white in there, we all know it’s me so really it doesn’t change much. i prefer simply raymi, though.
illin’.
i complained about my eye/s (gushing tears from spring) so many times yesterday and finally rob said something like, YEAH, I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. hahahaha ugh.
NEEDS MORE HIPSTER.
rob was recognized by a guy who works here. he had no idea who he was though. gave us an extra rum chocolate milkshake and some slaps on the back. the liquor store was closed which was plan b as cafe taste (that i still have to review) was closed. i wanted good wine and cheese. we noticed the beer store was open though after an ass-ton of people went by carrying 2-4s like boomboxes.
sometimes at shows i have to interrupt whomever is speaking to my known in the industry friend and inquire what band this person is in cos i can tell my friend hasn’t a clue so i do the whole interrupt and introduce myself thing so we all learn each other’s names. people just come up to you and clap you on the back shake your hand, they recognize you more than you them and you feel guilty about it. social taboo unavoidable faux-pas. i guess remembering names to faces is an important skill to have but you just can’t store them all. if you’ve worked with sooo many people or go around a lot, blah i dunno i just do a solid there to help everyone out because i “get” “it”. man i wish i could stop it with the air quotes sometimes, i do it in real life too it makes me feel like uncle joey from full house way too fucking much.
i was in love with a stressed out man on the patio, in love with his stress. he was discussing something to his girlfriend and ripping up pieces of paper from his wallet. rob had his back, dismissing all of my educated guestimations over what was being said out there. she was smoking, drinking a steamwhistle. they were older. seemed like a work grievance, someone pissed him off. she was passively listening, bored. wondered why she bothered listening, he seemed kind of annoying, too wound-up. wondered why i bothered listening to anyone, ever. love? being kind? in friend etiquette they say you have to sit facing the person who is talking, show them that you are a good listener with your body language, arms open, your body is saying i am open to what you are saying and i am receiving it. super gay huh where did i read this the babysitter’s club? eye contact is important too. put your smartphone away.
later on down the same street coming back from the beer store doubling on my bike a shirtless grifter called at us, “is it monday?” which i loved. “YES!” i yelled back in passing. that guy is me. last week on a monday i declared that it was a thursday. then on the sunday i thought it was a wednesday. something asinine like that. i exist on standard raymi time.
felt on luigi pretty bad.
late 50’s road king from eaton’s. bought it when i was 19 for $160 from bikes on harbord, whatever that place is called. never did go back for the complimentary refurbishing. i think it was a means to get me back in there, i think there was a mild flirtation with the shop guy who was pretty good looking, why didn’t i follow up on that? i was dating the spaniard at the time.
across the street from me here while i was waiting for rob to buy darts (quit already everyone, you smell gross!) three cruisers were making a big deal over some woman who clearly had some rough stuff going on in her scene. it’s unethical to say junky i think, as is crackhead. crack addict is the most-pc you can get with it but that’s also an unfair assumption and i couldn’t really gauge from across the street also, sorta didn’t care. just sharin’ my journey’s observations with you. i love parkdale.
now why would someone get rid of this or how could they possibly get sick of it?
discovery channel is all over this shit. wireless camera on the right. terminator red light on the left, for fun. i asked how people react to it. surprisingly very little. that’s city life for you. you could be on fire and everyone’d avert their gaze.
met up with abigail and jeremy at the beav and that’s when my eating tour really began. well, continued. period is in the hizzouse. here’s what i consumed yesterday not including all the booze:
beet/pear/blue cheese/pecan salad at the drake.
grilled calamari (that took FOREVER) at the rhino.
caesar salad, 2 onion rings, three rum chocolate ice cream shakes from stampede, we shared.
some indian donut hole, drenched in honey omfg i’m buying tons more.
wunderbar, dill chips – variety store.
chocolate cupcake with gobs of frosting and a double chocolate chip cookie – beaver.
and by this time i’m like nauseously stuffed but no, that’s not enough consuming. tried to go home from buying tampons and cheese nips and a diet redbull (for today) but abigail persisted so off to her place for a fucking platter of cheese and crackers and a cheese pizza and red wine.
in summation, i am a cow right now and i have dance rehearsal tonite. i guess i binge eat hey? i can not eat for like a day, just coffee and green tea, many of them and then a few days in a row i’ll rip it up foodwise. melodie says it’s cos i’m low on protein once you start giving yourself sugar your body wants more and more. i’m going back to granola. or starting.
jeremy is a really funny dude. they’re a great couple. his kerouac-gushing made abigail role her eyes infinity times, loved it. got a little heated over on the road vs. big sur for a bit there.
lookin’ tired and 27. the lighting doesn’t help much, or the photographer either. or the period. i will never run out of excuses. oh and the allergies too. natch.
amazing apartment, they’re so lucky. their cats are the best too, like, prehistorical-looking in size. massive gentle beasts. i look forward to hanging out with them again. oh and i guess ab and jer too, if they’re around.
then i went home. fat and crampy. cos i’m skinnier presently when i get bloated i look 5 months pregnant. it’s kinda cute in a way cos i have those brad pitt torso indentation lines from when he was in fight club. i look like pregnant fight club brad pitt. don’t be J-E-A-L-O-U-S!
getting wasted on hash with a film maker is good times. just go with it.
hilariousish.
one of those zero-to-party evenings that come outta nowhere. actually, that’s like every nite lately what am i saying.
ok laundry time, have to prepare (clean) an outfit for my longboarding commercial audition tomorrow. longboarding is likely the only skill listed on my acting profile, it sure as shit isn’t acting. if it weren’t balls cold out right now i’d go practice for a bit. i will after burlesque rehearsal tonite maybe. hopefully. not like i forget how to longboard, you don’t forget, you just need to be loose. i have to go buy a hoodie for the audition too, i left mine at joey‘s month’s ago and that bird has flown. my chucks are there too, all shitty and sandy from paintball. i meant to buy a hoodie on the weekend but bought a plaid shirt instead. idiot. i’m supposed to wear cargo pants for this thing too but i told my agent i don’t own any cos only homos (suburban jocks) wear them. hope i get it cos it’ll be a sweet paycheck.
I MISS YOU ALREADY BYE!
non-important update: dance rehearsal has been rescheduled so now i can loaf around a little longer (all nite). I LOVE LAZY.
vid quality will get better shortly. next my city lives with raymi tour will be of my underwear drawer.
