welcome to my new friday feature: stoner chat (pretend there is a lightning bolt between those two words)(i am big on lightning bolts ok!) but it might not always be fridays cos you know, stoners and days, is this like, is this a…weekday? wait i’m not high yet BRB!

ok ready? BEGIN!

me: hi
whats goin on timmins
do you get free timbits there
ok i will locate a roach

Steph: our hotel room is so bush broken hairdryer and the cable is dangling against the socket so it only comes in fuzzy
fuck it im gonna smoke one too

me: niiiiiice
NICCCCE

Steph: wait i have no lighter

me: oh no!

Steph: hang on

me: matches?

Steph: ya gimmie 5 to get some from the front desk
k back!

me: wicked
i started a blog post title and lead-in
gonna get sean ward to design an image with our photos and our stoner names

Steph: hhahahahahahah
omg awesome
so am i supposed to ask u my questions

me: um ok we both get high

Steph: yes

me: ok
are u smoking a pinner
roach?

Steph: roach

me: there are 500 billion of those here

Steph: we have that at home too- this bowl with a lid i call the roach hut

me: hahhahhaa
theres tins everywhere here and some hidden in ashtrays
gross

Steph: i always rescue them from the ashtrays

me: me too so skidly
weed dehydrates your skin eh i think i got maje laugh lines overnite
i play that high all day long

Steph: i know i hate it hahahaa

me: gahahahha
WHY
dave doesnt feel it either

Steph: his face makes me mad and the beat makes me crazy mad
and i hate the way he sings

me: wow

Steph: hahahaha

me: tell me how you really feel
maybe you need to come from an ecstasy background to appreciate that style

Steph: i know i shouldnt mince words
maybe ya its just the opening few bars make me want to kick my computer in the face

me: ok we’ll do a music special another time

Steph: hahahahaha

me: i had a question then i forgot it
ok so when yer baked online do u send emails to say professional types and then re-read your email or just send and then flip out maybe u went too far
i ask because i just sent a two word email to someone TWO WORDS and i am over analyzing it
i said whats instead of when

Steph: dude what professional types would i be sending emails to
soap central digest

me: HA

Steph: how did you use whats

me: if i said i had a connection (hook-up) with your soap what would you do

Steph: did you even use an aprostrophy?

me: NO

Steph: omh
omg

me: hahahha

Steph: hahahaa jk

me: i have no connections there sorry

Steph: hahahahaha

me: i dont even know the name of it

Steph: of my soap?

me: weeks of our feelings?
months of their journies

Steph: hahahahaha
brb

me: k

Steph: you know how you always hear about people trashing hotel rooms like crazy trashing like shit on the walls and stuff why do people do that

me: because theyre fucked up drunks high
they get hotel rooms to party in
then i guess wig out
or theyre van halen

Steph: hahaha awesome
is van halen the band with the one armed drummer
or is that def leppard

me: yeah. he sucks.
kidding
trying to remember these van halen jokes
OH

Steph: DEF LEPPARD

me: that was when scott monk was over

Steph: ahhahahah

me: remember

Steph: thats a hilarious name

me: it is an awesome name

Steph: OH YEAH
so whats the answer tho

me: i cant stop staring at your caps lock
this chat is going well
hahahhaa

Steph: hahaha

me: i dont even know what im supposed to answer
HAHAHAHHAA

Steph: ahahahahha which band has the one armed drummer

me: so in answer to one of your weed questions
oh um google it

Steph: i dont know
hahahaa

me: ahhaha

Steph: ya it shows up in the google search bar

me: well u would see photos

Steph: “def leppard one arm”

me: http://images.google.ca/images?hl=en&source=hp&q=one+armed+drummer&btnG=Search+Images&gbv=2&aq=f&oq=
exactly
one armed drummer google image search

Steph: rick allen!
of course!

me: i pretty much exclusively use google image search

Steph: hahaha jk

me: find shit thru pictures
no time for words

Steph: sometimes when i want to know something and theres no computer around im like, oh well i guess i cant know that thing.

me: nice
we played scrabble last nite using a dictionary from 1933
they wouldnt allow any of my modern words
i almost stormed out (at my dads)

Steph: hhahhaa

me: ZINE IS A FUCKING WORD YOU ARE ALL STUPID

Steph: haha

me: then they tried to kibosh pluralization
oh fuck that

Steph: hahahaa we should get scrabble
we play simpsons monopoly

me: im emailing my dad this right now http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/zine

Steph: remember jeopardy?

me: yeah
we have canadian monopoly with credit cards
so much easier

Steph: credit cards?

me: electronic
no paper money
u start with 15million

Steph: woah new age monopoly

me: yes guy

Steph: i live in a tree

me: cool
are you burning out
i have a stoner candle lit
thanks oprah
remembering my spirit

Steph: sort of im distracted by this shitty movie and the fact that the reception is better when the maid is vacuuming outside
oprah ending her show!

me: she is?

Steph: yep
she probably has enough money now

me: she will go thru a depression
shes adicated to working
adicated?
i have a draft on my blog saved for collecting dyslexia spelling mistakes i do

Steph: she’ll just be doing specials for the rest of our lives

me: started yesterday
true

Steph: ha funny

me: so what do you think hanging out with me baked will be like

Steph: um probably we will eat alot

me: yeah i eat dinner then ten minutes later eat a whole other dinner
now i am starving

Steph: hahaha i do that too with the 2nd dinner
it kills

me: like a completely different meal all wild components involved
now i know why we ate 6 times a day when i visited

Steph: HAHA

me: today is a total write off now
my hangover will hit me around 1
and ill be drinking wildcat coffee by then

Steph: why hangover?
scrabble hangover?

me: red white white wine

Steph: hahaha
the whiter the wine the worse the hang

me: HAHAHA
says who
red is worse
one nite after red wining it i woke up with a spider vein exploded on my left cheek
still there

Steph: yikers

me: i was 24
i giver
anyway i drink less now
so now i can eat garbage

Steph: im gonna make this red wine tea, its called christmas tea im pumped
i told ryan and he was like “jesus christ” HAHAHA

me: so cute
HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHA
at the name?

Steph: i dont know hahaha

me: red wine plus cran
the shit flavor of both combined is good
two wrongs make a right
there take that every old bitch ever

Steph: http://www.cooksunited.co.uk/recipes/592251216025141/Christmas-Tea-II.html
hahaha
i bet my mom would like that, cran and wine
moms on wine are funny

me: yeah motor mouths with no filter

Steph: actually maybe moms on wine arent funny at all
scary

me: yeah

Steph: haha i dont want to talk about it

me: http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/sets/72157619994573824/

Steph: changing your hair colour is trippy eh
its like it still looks like you but

me: yeah
greasier me

Steph: aw i miss it
my blond hair

me: no u look good dark
HELLO
pants crapper

Steph: yes im here
what are you doing

me: replying to emails
spacing out
gonna let dogs back in one sec there better be something funny here when i get back

Steph: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIYySjIyy_I

me: hahaha

Steph: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmE8MwXfzJ8&feature=related
hahaha its so funny

me: not really
that guy is gross
and i am not into babies

Steph: for farting? hahaa

me: no he moans at the begining

Steph: omg hahahaa
ok
when someone asks me for something funny farts are my go to i cant help it

me: ok lets go over some photos of our past hang out experiences together and try to say something constructive about the event

Steph: that sounds like a lot of work but ok

me: ok yeah
just putting it out there never said it would happen

Steph: hahaha no we can

me: http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/3641749214/in/set-72157619994573824/
a sound like no other

Steph: hahaha i like how much of the ceiling there is
that was an umcomfortable pony tail night
umcomfortable
hahaha new word

me: oh ok so i noticed that when u drink or get high your hairstyle changes a million times
thats your equivalent to my changing outfits 60 times
i dont do that as much when baked
too lazy
i could wear rags

Steph: i do that when im sober too man
UNLESS im having a good hair day
but basically on non shower days i play with it constantly ya
and i only ever hang out with you on non shower days

me: non shower days man
good idea but you know bad idea in the end

Steph: exactly

me: my hair is so long it is so burdensome to deal with

Steph: are you gonna edit out the boring parts and the parts where im not funny

me: days i dont shower its so rasta i braid it and can begin a whole new braid from the end of the first braid (i will post a photo of this sometime)

Steph: does it get tangled underneath from scarves in the winter?

me: yes

Steph: so quickly too eh

me: it gets jammed under my back in armpits
yeah ill edit this thing somehow (no i wont)

Steph: k good
steal my sunshine is on much more music right now

me: i was just thiking about that song
love it

Steph: nice SNUG outfit

me: LEN
ha
hello

(i have not washed that shirt i’m wearing since this nite, february 2 hahaha. the shirt requires i sew on the thing on the front of it before it goes in the wash otherwise it’ll come right off.)

Steph: oh hi

me: i just realised i was sitting in silence
COOL

Steph: hahaha i do that lots

me: oh we cool everything by the way
thanks for that
i even wrote something down about it

Steph: what are you talking about

me: left a light on the floor a lamp and it was super hot i said thats safe
COOL
then i tried to open a door with my left hand and a beer bottle in that same hand
COOL on that
like COOL LIFE
then died laughing
cos it happened immediately following the almost burnt the house down hot lamp COOL
i said COOL, SAFE!

Steph: oHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH hahahahaaaa thats awesome

me: are you faking it

Steph: faking what?

me: that laugh

Steph: i just totally didnt get what you meant by “we cool everything, thanks for that, i even wrote down something about it”
i was like waaaaaa
THEN i got it

me: ahhhh
i just unearthed a wicked ingrown

Steph: can you change peoples dumb titles of things on youtube?

me: if u save the video and upload it yerself

Steph: exhausted groan

me: yeah i know

Steph: did you know that nelly and tim mcgraw have a song together

me: i only had like two tokes eh and im on my ass

Steph: its TERRIBLE

me: eww

Steph: yeah
whats the weather like there?
me: sunny
not too bad
but once it gets dark itll be cold

Steph: its so cold and rainy here today

me: aww

Steph: i wanna say something off the record

me: ok

THE END (takes bow)

if you read all of that you are amazing. see you next time!