there’s a she wolf in the closet

text message from random 905 number:

hey you have the eg6 bumper right?

raymi: who is this?

905: I pmed you about the bumper

raymi: and why? who r u and do u know who i am? (thinking some internet psycho got my number and is fucking with me who knows)

905: do yo have a bumper fs or not (detecting ‘tude now hey fucker YOU texted me first. also fil pointed out that fs means for sale by this point, prior to learning what fs meant i’m thinking ok this is some guy who wants to buy a “hot” item, mafia wars type shit haha)

raymi: i hav no idea what u r talking about or why u hav my # this is quite sketchy

905: clearly i got the wrong number

OH YOU THINK SO?

i wrote back ha no worries in case it was a big warlord (i’m wimpy like that) to make us cool about it. i also called the number cos i missed a call, two calls simultaneously (one being from the fucking gym of course) so the 905 number wiped out the number of the gym, i call 905 back asking for gym owner and guy is like, uh wrong number though obvs knows it’s me the person with the bumper, also a chick.

THE END FANTASTICALLY RIVETING DRAMZ!

here’s yoko’s pap photo the day lennon was shot. beautiful grief, so sad. my aunt is in the process of framing it.

oh and here’s my aunt.

we’re going to do a collab art show together in the spring. psyched!

sangriaiaiaiaiaia! so much better with better wine and tropicana no pulp, (as in NOT green room’s) pineapple and raspberries for floaters with a little bit of icing sugar to cut the tart, or lemon (i forgot that so icing sugar it was) and we sucked it all back.

amazing chicken curry w/ wild rice, my aunt was all if i gave you too much don’t feel like you have to eat it all. finished it in 2 minutes with more for the road.

bathroom window so cute.

we bought that bell for my grandfather one christmas, or birthday. yoink. this close to being a unicorn.

shit photo but back in the 70’s chicks used to bead necklaces with cantaloupe seeds. i know right, get a life much hippies. ha kidding i think it’s super clever.

alright last necklace jam for now.

when this was pulled out i thought hey that’s familiar but went on to say oh smart way to save on a/c.

omg ha. look how i used to dot my i’s. SO COOL. touched she kept it.

brought another miniature (tissue box) over for the dollhouse. this chick’s like oh no it’s the end of the wooorld.

sober week was not entirely a success. oh well. HOWEVER i’ve cut it down like mad. i’m over drinking now. finally. i know, standing ovation.

going to have to invest in some non-slob workout gear. oh hell every lululemon joke i’ve made is gonna come back to haunt me (not really i’m still gonna wail on chicks who wear that shit for no reason).

cid had been acting extra insane lately, turns out fil threw out his safety box.

crazy containment 2.0 – still needs to be sawed shorter. looks hilarious on fil’s desk, takes up so much room.