score one TORONTO
pfft and they call us cold.
guess what i joined a gym today and this is what i’m going to look like so you better get used to it here start now!
ew.
i told the trainer i want to look like madonna in the hung up video.
dude said basically we have to work our asses off to look like that as we are already skinny and toned weaklings, 90% of it is diet (groan) 10% is working out (cardio, strength training) so whatever madonna was doing to achieve that sick bod during the dancefloor confessions tour i NEED to know cos the only way i know how to look like this is by losing my fucking mind again (weed, mania, no thank you) i also promised myself one nite wasted in bed (when fil was already passed out) watching the confessions concert on tv that i would get that body. you can do it by just starving yourself away but then you can’t defend yourself in a fight or do anything active ever, you’re basically completely useless and old looking OR you can get off your ass and get in shape and look younger also maybe become a showgirl, who knows, you know? i have the best epiphanies wasted in bed, like exclusive intelligence, an infomercial could change my stupid life at 2 in the morning.
and now i have a date with everybody loves raymond, some sake, then big brother.
ps. the work out stripper was there again today (britt saw her tuesday as well) and i was THIS CLOSE to asking her if she wanted me to spot her. oh man so glad i didn’t now. thank god. can you imagine how awkward every gym experience following that would be if she said no? it would be like seinfeld, so costanza, FUCK THAT THERE IS NO WAY I AM JOINING THIS GYM.
seriously when am i going to crap what is wrong with me it’s been since saturday. probably the lack of carbs i feel like, ugh fuck, it is basically ALL i can think about or talk about like that constipation commercial, so true. i thought today for sure would have been the day, hangover crap style but i think sleeping in then working out cut it off, psychosomatic-like. shit goes down at the precise time here on the regular and if i leave the house before that time i’m SOL til the next day.
here’s what ‘waywardson’ a regular commenter on my flickr photos has to say about the above picture of me wow, a wonderful Portrai of a wonderful Lady, wish you an great Day
oh and while on the egotistical express here’s another loved-up message:
I have been reading your blog all day and must say it has never looked so good and I really hope you never stop blogging, your blog is like a much needed island vacation, minus the sunburn, the sand penis in your togs and the dissapointing customer service. Congratulations on your win in the weblog awards, it is well deserved and I hope you enter again this year. I really think the new layout has made your overall brand much more polished without the pretentious bullshit dialogue that normally accompanies such “hipster” looking blogs. You are so awesome, never doubt it, you are the real deal. Always been a fan, always will.
HG
ahh i love that shit.
BYE!
yes hurry up and crap you are making ME feel stressed about it!
Eat a Big Mac. That is sure to pull the pin on your little problem.
im too whimsical for mcdonalds
Dude I am in the same boat, I’ve been on Tylenol 3 thanks to this broken ankle and I don’t even remember the last time I crapped. The doc didn’t tell me about this side effect.
Also I’m glad you don’t want to look like Madonna circa NOW because she is frightening:
http://www.celebnewswire.com/wp-content/uploads/import/Madonna_ropy_muscles_gristle.jpg
Glad to hear you joined a gym. Working with weights will help you gain lean muscle , you will look good and feel stronger.
You also get the added benefit of happy endorphins, less stressed, less anxiety.
90% diet does not mean starving yourself. It means eating better power foods, good foods. Not junk. You will have higher energy and stable moods.
Exercise is good for a lot of things.
A. Sushi = laxative. Always works.
2. You can’t exercise away a bad diet. However, diet = 75%, exercise = 25%. Combination cardio and weight training.
III. Weight training 75%, cardio 25%.
Voice of experience.
It’s like sex, you go all week not getting any then out of nowhere 3 times in 1 day. Dehydration and constipation go hand in hand, drink more water and maybe listen to “shortest straw”
expresso time!
waywardson is right. That photo of you captures the real you. In the slope of the shoulders, the set of your mouth and the look in your eyes. This is a photo of a young lady at the height of her self awareness and vulnerability. This is not Raymi; it’s Lauren.
There is no forced laughter and no delightful sprite performing. No posing.
Take a bow, fil.
i would die if i didn’t crap for that long.
I am a three crap a day-er
There is no forced laughter and no delightful sprite performing
dude watch it.
oh and king i have an immaculate diet.
haha your comment about “looking like THIS” reminded me of that episode of family guy where peter goes to the gym..
Peter: “Hello, my flabby family!”
Brian: “Peter, you went to the gym. ONCE. FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES.”
Peter: “Yeah, but im in the best shape of my life!”
hi raymi,
raymis mom has a great insite as does king,
i’d say fook the cardio though myself and stick with HIIT and free weights.
you gotta eat like 6-7 times a day!! clean proteins veggies no fruit after noon. cycle carbs, etc…
I’m here anytime for motivation and encouragment! and free advice
thanks but i didnt post this for the peanut gallery to give me their two cents. what works for me works for me.
excuse me for responding in such a distastefull manner
it wasn’t distasteful it was just the final straw, i can’t write about anything i plan to do ever without all these self-declared experts nagging me.
easy for skinny bitches to get in shape, and whine about needing a personal fookun trainer to get thier heads out of thier skinny asses and work out………..blarg blargh blarg
dude watch your fucking mouth there’s no whining here i’m telling all of you to shut up about it
i can’t talk about wanting to be toned on my goddamn blog without a hundred fyis thrown at me
and i dont have a personal trainer it was a free consultation with signing up, every gym does it
and getting skinny wasn’t easy it took time and effort
good for you on the gym thing!! ive never had the drive
omg reading this I realised I TOTALLY frogot about our pending pilates date!!! Sorry, let me know if you are still up for it.
Congrats on getting your gym thang on… the hardest part of working out is just getting yourself there, and it sounds like you are going to turn into a work out bunny in no time.
( and indeed, F OFF TORONTO AIR SHOW!) So many panic attacks!
dude i am so totally still game for pilates!
Let’s meet up and eat a box of Jos. Louis! Never understood why it’s named that. Like JOSS LEWIS
i love those things!
hahahah! Awesome!!!! I am going tomorrow morning @ noon… would that work? If not, wed @ lunchtime ( 1230)
and then after, I am all over some american pre packaged tasty cakes!!!!
ahahaha sorry, I thought that was you wanting to eat joes… elaine, I will join you with that as well =)
wednesday is doable yes.
If you’re anything like the average person from Toronto, then they seem OK by me. They also bag people like me being from Adelaide in South Australia as being from the City of the Churches or serial killers
I don’t know which is worse.
PS: Good luck with the working out, but don’t get too many muscles