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knew you’d be here tonite

it’s been awhile since we’ve had a good old fashioned raymi rant in these parts so here i go. this one is entitled HOW I FEEL ABOUT TAKEN MEN GOING TO STRIP CLUBS. yes, nothing bad can come of this ha.

so it’s been on my mind since we watched the hangover (if you haven’t seen it i’m not really going to give any spoilers away, i mean, they go to vegas so one can only assume strippers are involved) and great film can’t wait to see it again. i actually started formulating this when the trailer first hit, more like a don’t even CONSIDER a vegas boys weekend ever guy to fil (oh boohoo poor fil here’s a preemptive fuck you to all the guys just in case) and that was it. then we watched the movie and afterward i said you know, here’s my two cents, firstly, strip clubs are not a right of passage before marriage. i do not get why they are synonymous with bachelor parties aside from the pervert drunk louse friends (every guy has one of those friends and we have our eye on you buster) who want a gander at the expense of their buddy’s life “about to be over” therefore he NEEDS to have the ass of another woman in his face one last time before the fun stops. sorry i don’t plan on being miserable for the rest of my life either but this negative mindset placed onto women at the start of marriage is the dude’s fault, a stereotype that gains more and more clout over time until it becomes true.

here’s the thing, if you are going to get wasted and party with strippers then i am going to get wasted and strip for men. i’m going to perv out all over them. if you are going to celebrate with loose women then i will be loose with men.

how come it’s ok for men to go out with the boys to the club while women stay at home playing penis drinking games hoovering wine then some cheesy dude stripper who can’t even be considered human comes in bobbling his banana hammock and that’s somehow even? no offense to those bachelorette parties, i’m just trying to make a point here and that point is jealousy.

do i feel jealous visualizing my boyfriend staring up at naked chicks with perfect bodies? um i have a pulse, so, yes. women who allow their men to go out to strip clubs and appear as if they do not care about it are fucking liars. or worse, they actually no longer care about their men. that’s heartbreaking to me. you should feel flattered by my jealousy actually cos the moment i stop making a fuss that means i am OVER YOU. like one time i let a girlfriend of mine blow an ex bf right in front of me, i let that same chick do it to two different guys on separate occasions actually, and i could see in both the guy’s stupid faces how lucky they felt and happy and were completely elated WOW hit the fucking lottery here this must mean something. yes it does mean something and that being i’m beyond over you and this is how i’m letting you down easy with a beej from my whore friend. pretty generous if you ask me. (it’s a sneaky dirty trick you can bring up later on when the guy is sobbing and saying nasty desperate things you just passive aggressively remind him that he got blown by your friend in front of you so who’s the one who cares about whom now?)

here is an article i found on jezebel earlier this week that reminded me of all this, it’s their take on a piece written on that AskMen site 5 Lies All Women Tell written by Madeline Murphy and originally published two years ago then revived for some reason again (that’s rather telling) anyway read it all but specifically this part stood out for me:

2. “I don’t mind if you go to strip clubs with the boys.” This is a lie that women tell to make themselves seem “less pathetically needy.” This is another no-win situation for women. Either they are liars and hate their boyfriends for having a little harmless fun the boys (by objectifying naked strangers) or… well, if you aren’t needy and insecure, than I guess you are not a real women. Murphy instructs men to handle this situation by not going to strip clubs; “You’re probably better off just not going. Ask yourself: Are two hours of bare booty worth weeks, even months, of bitchy comments?”

Winner: Tie. Men are deprived of the privileged of spending a “boy’s night out” ogling naked women, but women are insecure harpies bent on securing their boyfriend’s unhappiness.

and here are my replies to this:

if men should be allowed to go hang with strippers then women should be allowed to hang with strange men and be slutty with them while doing it. fair is fair.

@raymi: Like, for every lap dance he receives, she gives one to a random dude at a bar? Sounds fair to me, too.

@TurtleSpeak: exactly. if your man is gonna get blasted with sluts then i’m gonna be slutty and get blasted with men.

@raymi: weird logic – he gets girls all over him, and yet you don’t want guys all over you, you want to be all over guys…not exactly like for like.

@chancentrate: it makes a point – if you are going to stray from me, then i am going to stray from you. how is that NOT like for like? the visual of that is what would get to him.

deep down, well not even all that deep down, i want to be a stripper, but i can’t because girls like me know you only become a stripper as a last resort and various other stigmas. plenty of women want to be strippers. how many annoying feminist-driven debates have you been privy to regarding stripping? ugh nevermind spare me (it’s empowering raaaaah own your sexuality zzzz don’t be an object BE a subject what?!) all the music videos we love to get hard to how close to simulated sex are they? how come super famous entertainers (actresses, singers) can do it and get away with it but one person in your circle finds out and you get nothing but shit for it? why are other women allowed to strip, and essentially we and anyone we know, aren’t?

i suppose it’s the narcissist in me that craves that sort of attention and there is no feminist justification (excuse) behind it at all, it is purely animal at base, simple. men want to look and women want to be that package they look at. i want MY man to look AT ME in that way and if he walks out the door to look at another woman in that way, i see that as a failure.

why has showing my nipples (pretty tame if you ask me) garnered so much flack that it’s not even worth it anymore? why has that put me in the only popular because shows nudity category? guess the types who peg me as that btw: OTHER WOMEN and geeky men who get 5 visitors to their blogs a day. not going to bother with the other women thing as there’s a wack load of tiresome reasons i can’t be bothered with right now. as for the geeky, sorry fine, ordinary man, who wants to jerk off to porn on the internet to a nameless faceless starlet, why does it incense you so much to find out a woman has a personality behind those nipples? you are irritating and your conclusions are lazy. F.

a little off topic there sorry.

i almost forgot one of the points of this entire thing ha – so in the hangover one of the guys (total doormat controlled by bitch wife) finally gives it to her regarding where he’d been that weekend (lied) and to make us champion him more this woman is painted in an all out totally unlikable fashion. as a woman it plays on your emotions and makes you identify with her a little bit to the point where you feel like a total psycho, if you have any issues with control, being in control or losing control, i dunno, it’s pretty hypocritical cos the guys go on a complete tear yet she is a monster. anyway, when he finally gets it out that they were in vegas with strippers she flips and asks WHY and he states BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT MEN DO. he might have said guys. no matter. back to my point, or questions rather, if that is what guys do, then as women, what do we get to do that’s of equal magnitude cos all i can think of is BE strippers and have our asses spanked by strange men. don’t like picturing that dudes? THEN DON’T GO TO THE FUCKING STRIP CLUB!


also, i know of a strip club (pure gold) in the burbs that will not allow women in unless they are accompanied by a male and the reason for this is because women kept storming the door causing scenes and embarrassing the (wealthy established) clientele, dragging their men out. that is absurd. what is this the fucking flintstones and pure gold, the lodge? how helpless, neglected, and alone those women must feel.

ps. happy face sticker is still up. when did i stick it there, i think around my birthday so late march.

check out these tights!

94 thoughts on “knew you’d be here tonite

  1. I am tired so you get my comment in point-form without any witty sentence joiners.

    – I love The Hangover. Seen it three times (though this may be due in part to my love for B-Coop).

    – Strip clubs in Vancouver are so tame, no touchies.

    – Would I be pumped if my man went to a strip club? No. If he was going to get all up in some stripper’s tits and motorboat her and smack her ass, I’d be super pissed – that’s the truth. BUT if he was sitting around just watching and drinking with his buddies, I’d be totally cool with it. Been there with guys, done that, it’s no big deal – for real.

    – Lap dances? No, not cool with him getting one of those either.

    Maybe I could say more but my brain is dead now.

  2. when women flirt with phil in front of me no it doesn’t turn me on and no it doesn’t make me go YAY phil you’re still hot what a man you are. i know he is hot i don’t need outside opinion to tell me that. it is irritating when he is flirted with in front of me and annoying and rude, embarrassing too for the woman, i feel embarrassed for her. security has nothing to do with it either, i am secure in this relationship. this is veering off course now.

    “My advice is to let yourself be turned on by Phil being a man. This works because deep down you already are. It’s not fair, but neither is the fact that you secretly enjoy the thought of Phil being with other women, while he, most likely, doesn’t feel the same way about you being with other men.”

    i feel like you are reading into our relationship and men/female dyanmics a little too much. in order for me to feel turned on by him being a man requires him going to strip clubs? that’s ass backward and archaic and actually a complete turn off. am i turned on when i’m pissed off? fuck no.

    why is the brunt of this biological double standard to be placed on the fucking woman? it is up to us entirely to feel secure? part of that rests on the man’s shoulders and if my man was going out to strip clubs every week, how secure does that make me, or more importantly, the relationship itself. not very.

  3. Bernard: believe it or don’t, but some women are able to be rational creatures, and don’t just act on every biological “instict” they have, but are able to transcend them because they know they’re ass backwards. And I don’t think you’re quite right about what those instincts are and why they exist at ALL, but whatever… go get a copy of “The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature” by Matt Ridley.

  4. “when women flirt with phil in front of me no it doensn’t turn me on and no it doesn’t make me go YAY phil you’re still hot what a man you are.”

    I think it’s more subtle than that. It might not even be something you’re consciously aware of (no disrespect). But in my experience this is something that just about all women feel deep down, but some are more aware of it than others.

    “i know he is hot i don’t need outside opinion to tell me that. it is irritating when he is flirted with in front of me and annoying and rude, embarrassing too for the woman, i feel embarrassed for her.”

    It doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that he is hot. Imagine a hot guy who was completely needy and was so afraid of you that he never expressed sexual thoughts about other women for fear that he would offend you. I guarantee you that you would be turned off by him, no matter how hot he was. Also, the fact that you get pissed off doesn’t negate the fact that in the long run you’re turned on by it (I wouldn’t be surprised, though, if you were turned on by it even in the short run and just weren’t aware of it. Just like women dress more slutty at certaint times of the month without being aware of it). Horniness and anger are related. Think hard: are you sure there isn’t a part of you that likes knowing that Phil could bang other women if he wanted to?

    “in order for me to feel turned on by him being a man requires him going to strip clubs? that’s ass backward and archaic and actually a complete turn off. am i turned on when i’m pissed off? fuck no.”

    I never said that. A guy that goes to strip clubs all the time is most likely a desperate loser, which would turn you off. But a guy with a healthy sexuality who enjoys going to the strip club every once in a while, who isn’t a desperate loser, would turn you on, provided you were attracted to other parts of him. Deep down you know that a healthy confident guy with a normal healthy sex drive is going to enjoy fucking/looking at other women. When men lie to you and tell you that they don’t enjoy strips clubs, isn’t there a part of you that thinks it’s bullshit and he just doesn’t have the balls to admit it to you and so therefore he’s weak and therefore less attractive? You might be pissed off at the bf who occasionally enjoys strip clubs, but you’ll still be attracted to him. Not necessarily because of the fact of that he goes to strips clubs (although many women would secretly enjoy this), but because he’s a normal confident sexual guy who doesn’t need to lie about that fact that strip clubs are occoasionally fun.

    “why is the brunt of this biological double standard to be placed on the fucking woman? it is up to us entirely to feel secure? part of that rests on the man’s shoulders and if my man was going out to strip clubs every week, how secure does that make me, or more importantly, the relationship itself. not very.”

    The burden of the double standard is placed on both men and women equally, though in different ways. Men are more free to be sexual and have a high number of partners provided that their sexuality comes from a place of confidence, not from low self-esteem. However low self-esteem men have few or no sexual partners and are judged harshly for it by women, whereas women with low self-esteem have many sexual partners and are judged harshly for it by men. Women have the advantage of being turned on by sexually successful men, whereas men have the disadvantage of being turned of by sexually successful women (provided that their success stems from low self-esteem and not confidence)

  5. well, we have topless and fully nude…
    the fully nude ones ARE very pervy and on top if you cant drink booze!
    the topless ones are definitely more low key sex wise, you are right.

  6. bernard are you a woman? no. don’t insinuate that you know my gender more than i do. i am plenty aware of the dressing whorier at that time of the month. first and final warning, drop it, i am not going to admit to something that isn’t true in regards to allegedly being turned on by phil blasting another woman, can he bag other women, obviously. can i bag other men? duh. what is the point in even mentioning it other than to shit disturb. LET IT GO. also, it isn’t any of your business. psychoanalyze someone else.

    the point of this post is: if men are going to be in a sexual environment with women strangers then the only way to even the table is to put women in a sexual environment with men, or let those women create the sexual atmosphere for those men – that’s the only way i could even it personally, this doesn’t apply to everyone else. all that bs of just going for a beer with the boys is exactly that, BULLSHIT. if that’s actually what you’re after, then go to a regular bar. you’re at the rippers getting buzzed staring at vag, are you thinking of your wife? pffffffft.

    also, it’s called etiquette and social graces, which many people lack. men do not flirt with me in front of fil, or behind his back, out of respect for him as well, they see that it is pointless. women however, do not offer the same courtesy to me because they are catty passive aggressive witches. i too never flirt with men or women. we’ve had enough fun together over the course of our relationship and i feel that chapter is and should be closed now, and we’re not entering into some bizarre cheesy swinger style fantasy you’re conjuring so halt it bernard.

    we both feel that open relationships are fruitless and it’s just a matter of time til one party moves on to a new conquest for good. also hello, hurt feelings!

  7. one more thing look at it this way: if i’m not allowed to strip (and i’m not) then fil is not allowed to go look at strippers. THAT would be hypocritical. good nite.

  8. i was going to say, bernard doesnt sound like a girls name, i thought it was common knowledge and universally agreed upon that we dont really know shit about women?

  9. Bernard’s idea of what women’s natural instincts make me laugh. It’s to the point where I can’t even get annoyed by his comments.

    I completely agree with you Raymi.

  10. I have a friend who danced nude at an exclusive club in Washington DC for a summer when she was going to George Town University when studying for a psychology degree.

    I went a few times and came back with an appreciation for nude dancers and a pitiful view of the nature of man.

    She had names for all of the men. By the way her stage name was Nikki Smith and guys actually thought it was her real name.

    The Beast: The guy who thinks he can get laid. He drinks way too many drinks yet only gives a dollar for each dance. Usually goes home in a taxi.

    The Yuppie: Thinks one dollar tips are the greatest thing, despite the fact that men around him are giving five and tens, and falls in love with at least one of the dancers.

    The Savior or Preacher: The guy who wants to save the dancers from the pitts of mythological hell. Usually pisses off a dancer and gets escorted out.

    The old man: Wants to remember what a nude woman looks like. Tends to tip well.

    The guy on a bachelor party: The most hated of the types. Grouping and fondling the dancers hoping their repulsive behavior will get them laid. They usually were thrown out.

    Horny married guy: Not getting laid at home so he wants to look at what he is missing. Usually a liar.

    Power guy: Thinks a suit and high paying job will impress the dancers. They usually stink of ego.

    She even came up with a name for me the Gentleman: Appreciates the dancers and gives each one a five dollar tip. Chats freely and never asks the question, “Why are you a stripper?” Talks about what they are doing in real life and never patronizes.

    She had names for her fellow dancers too but this comment is way too long. Never been to a female dance club since.

  11. Strip clubs appeal to the newlywed or nearly dead.

    I wouldn’t trust ANY man who regularly frequents those places and in circles of strong men, the strip club guys are looked upon as men with weak scene control.

  12. I SO fucking agree with EVERYTHING you said. When I got married, my guy’s friends asked if I would mind if they took him to a strip club and I said YES I fucking mind. Not happening. He’d flip his lid if I went.
    Re: the stripper thing. A bunch of us (girls & guys) were sitting around the other day & it came up about one thing most girls had a fantasy of doing at some point & I said stripping. I never actually considered it as a career choice but it appealed to me when I was a young teenager. A few of the women were all, oh no I didn’t. Liars!

  13. I also have to say that lots of strippers are under-age, drug-users, and/or single moms trying to make some extra cash. Not a good situation.
    My friend was at a stag last week and the fucking 70 year old father of the groom got naked & was grinding up against a girl. Completely depraved & disgusting.

  14. Girl or guy strip clubs, there are usually monster emotions in abundance from the gf or bf about the one who goes, right? I went to Montreal with a guy I was seeing and we agreed we would not go to the strip clubs because we only had so much money. Oh how he whined about that, how I deprived him. When we got back to Ontario, every time we argued, he brought up “Montreal” – in his crude effort to make me look like a bitch or prude in his mind’s eye. Well for fuck’s sake, IF we had gone to the stripper bars, we would have spent $200 easily. I made sure we didn’t, and we had a nice vacation, within our budget, Jesus Christ. Where is he now, Raymi? Fuck’d if I know – or care. Point being, going to the stripper bars is a waste of money like whoa.

  15. This is perfectly written. I have had such a hard time trying to explain to guys in the past wtf is wrong with this strip club tradition. Now I think I’ll just send them a link to this page and be done with it.

  16. Good post. I haven’t been to your site for a few years and now I find this. You articulated all the problems I had with The Hangover. I thought it was really funny but as soon as they showed that the Ed Helms character was saddled with a bitch girlfriend, you fucking KNEW he was gonna get married to a stripper in Vegas. So as to blow his dominant paradigm wide open, muthafucka. The movie trafficked in stereotypes.

    And also, the idea that the stag party is like a ticket to do whatever you want, is bogus. Bogus, I say. Bogus. I’ve never been to a bachelorette party but they’ve sounded pretty lame and uncomfortable for all involved. If your man feels he has license to go out for a weekend and cheat on you for a weekend, then yeah, by all means, somehow arrange to be the stripper giving him a lap dance, and watch his expression as his wayward eyes focus on your face.

    The sexual politics of the movie are retarded and adolescent, but it was still funny.

    Anyway, good post, I could write more but I’m wasted. May your wings be full of pristine bristles.

  17. i just wanted to say that male strippers are gross. always. they are almost always way twinky and it’s like they got lost and ended up in the wrong room doing this very male gay kind of aesthetic – often complete with uniforms. village peopley uniform silliness, not hot dude in some kind of obscene power trip that some old gals uncomfortable about being dominant themselves feel more comfortable getting into, or something. yes, i am having difficulty forming sentences. try to figure it out on your own, i’m going to bed. i dunno… male strippers, pornstars, ripped guys who love the summer because they get to go shirtless, and then the fucking gross greaseballs on the street or “hotties” (barf) goodlooking and not greasy but stil all full of sexual tension bravado ickyness have always grossed me the hell out and yes i am part gay but i am definitely still somewhat part straight and i have never understood what the fuck is going on with male strippers. SO not the same as hot girly strippers at stag parties. thank you for allowing me to announce this to the world. i’m putting an end to this comment. nightynight.

  18. “Storming the door and causing scenes” isn’t the reason women aren’t allowed to go to strip clubs unattended. (Not the only reason, anyway.) It’s to keep single women from hanging out and taking the attention (i.e. money) away from the dancers. There are all kinds of rules regarding the customer/client relationship that don’t apply to a woman customer.

    I haven’t known many strippers who were “on the prowl for men to ‘save’ them from their world” — at least not anymore than any random girl in a bar might be. (Not that strippers don’t play that card in order to make money by crying about bills, accidents, operations, and a million other things they need help with.) Like Puff Daddy says, It’s all about the Benjamins.

    Anyway, concerning bachelor/bachelorette parties, any bachelor party I’ve ever been to has been way tamer than the bachelorette parties I’ve heard about and/or seen photographic evidence of. And I mean WAY tamer. Of course the wildest of those bachelorette parties was for a stripper who was marrying one of her clients, so what do I know?

    In any case, all that aside, do people even go to strip clubs anymore?

  19. Very interesting stuff… I have been single my whole life and been going to stripe joints since a teen. Why? I went to several ballet boarding schools, and a lot of us did it to pay our way through school/ make money when the company was off for the summer. I have a lot of respect for SOME strippers, as some of them are incredible dancers, and friends. Would I be happy as punch if my man got a lap dance? No. Would I still go to a club with some friends to support a friend? Hell ya. Stripping, when done well, is an art.

  20. Getting all these emails reminded me of something. My boyfriend said he was in no way jealous of me going to a male strip club b/c he imagined the strippers would either be gay or super fake-tan oily buff dudes in thongs–stuff I’m not attracted to.

    I went a couple times (friends’ Bachelorette parties) and he wasn’t phased until he saw a photo that had about 5 dudes in it and then realized a couple of them were actually hot. He didn’t flip out but I could tell there was jealousy because suddenly he had a hundred questions about the experience.

  21. agree w. fil when he says that the topic and people in general are too subjective to pigeonhole. BUT, being the keen observer of humanity i’ve noticed you to be, you’ve got at least 85% of humanity pegged in this post. so. hm. I guess I’ll back off this one now.
    Your hair has also been looking fantastix lately.

  22. bernard had more to say but i deleted it – TMI and braggarting about women flirting with him has absolutely nothing to do with this post sorry guy.

  23. What frustrates me most is the whole “last night of freedom” crap. Umm, excuse me but we’ve been in a monogamous relationship for x amount of time, and going to the strippers was never ok then, why would it be ok the night before getting married?! Ridiculous.

  24. and apparently i am insecure because i do not enjoy fil being flirted with in front of me which happens constantly. try, desensitized.

  25. so, i have a friend who is about to get married and all thru their relationship, she has gone with him and his buddies to strip clubs. both of them insist that it is great entertainment and fun blah blah blah….. the guy is a dirty weasel and just doesn’t want to get in shit from my friend for staring at someone else’s bare titties. total gross!
    i tried that whole ‘lets go to the peelers’ stage i think all of thrice in my early 20’s and it was kinda fun to see the costumes and the dancing, but what really turned me off was when the strippers would encourage men (and me those few times) to chuck filthy disgusting twonies in their pussies. that’s like licking the handle bars on buses/subways or drinking from a puddle of goober-spits on the sidewalk.

  26. “the guy is a dirty weasel and just doesn’t want to get in shit from my friend for staring at someone else’s bare titties.”

    the guy getting married is a dirty weasel or a friend who will be at the bachelor party is?

  27. Solution: everybody goes out together & sees a burlesque show. Much less filthy, much more fun. Wow, that’s a lot of comments.

  28. I agree with many things – especially the simple jealousy no matter what.


    I just watched the hangover again, after reading this post. He lies about Vegas to her, and the confrontation is why he went to Vegas (not why he went to a stripclub). The movie never shows strippers until the credits – so I don’t think it was that big of a deal (although she mentions the grossness of the places in the beginning). Moreover, she WAS a rotten human being overall. I think the movie makes you hate her because she was so deeply rotten – not because she didn’t want him to go to Vegas. She banged other dudes, beat him, made him call all the time, checked his bank statements, etc. SHE sounded insecure to me.

    I don’t know why it was important for me to clarify that, but I think the movie itself (and even Old School, by the same guy) ends up just telling the “outward” expression of men while validating their real-life important matters – their friends, their wives, their life. Even Bradly Cooper’s character truly cares about his wife, like Vince Vaughn’s in Old School.

    And the only time I have ever enjoyed strip clubs with a guy was when I had no real interest in the guy, but we were drunk, partying, and I would probably just be with him for a week or three. It ALWAYS hurts when it is someone you care about…

  29. Raymi, I worked in a strip club as a waitress and not all guys who go there for stag parties or a night out really want to be there. Part of my job discription was to flirt with dudes when serving them drinks (ie tips!) but not all guys were interested in even being there, you can see it quite obviously. The guys that are REALLY sad are the ones who come with “Me myself and I” (ie alone) and are just so desperate for attention. I wouldn’t mind if my bf went to a strip club because he wouldn’t really enjoy it… aka fake tits, gross spray tans turns him off, plus he is loyal. For fuck sakes Phil is MARRYING you, why would you be jealous?
    Oh and I did strip one time, in a private room, made a bunch of money and didn’t feel an ounce of sadness. The guy who was there was so drunk he probably didn’t even remember it.

  30. “For fuck sakes Phil is MARRYING you, why would you be jealous?”

    elizabeth i do not appreciate the tone of this statement at all and i feel you have overlooked many of my points. marriage doesn’t mean you stop caring what the other one does (for many it does though and that’s shitty) and if i didn’t care about the person, why would i marry them and let them go to a strip club? depressing.

    discussion closed

  31. i agree with Bernard that women can often find themselves being turned on by the very thing that upsets them.

    from my personal experience, that initial anger, when not properly dealt with, transcends all of that bundled up energy into different parts of your core, one of them being sexual. what you are angry about can turn you on, but thats just because all of that energy stimulated you and awakened your senses. this is the same thing as make up/break up sex or someone watching violent pornography.

    there are various ways to tap into your hormonal surge but that doesn’t make all of them healthy. imagine being reliant on being angry with your man to turn you on, i cant imagine how grossly unstable that relationship would be.

    i think if you, raymi, stripped for a room full of men, to compensate for phil deciding to go to a strip club. then you would still spend months being cold and upset over what he did. because you have stated your opinions and feelings about it to such an extent, that had he still decided to go, you would feel betrayed and angry that he even brought you to the point of having to compensate for what he did.

    i am really glad that you mentioned the regulations of women needing to be escorted by men into strip clubs, because i was told it was because the club was trying to keep women safe from the type of men that go in there, and i am glad that i now know the real justification behind it. i want to barf.

  32. here is an email i received from keith HE got my point. read it.

    “like one time i let a girlfriend of mine blow an ex bf right in front of me, i let that same chick do it to two different guys on separate occasions actually, and i could see in both the guy’s stupid faces how lucky they felt and happy and were completely elated WOW hit the fucking lottery here this must mean something. yes it does mean something and that being i’m beyond over you and this is how i’m letting you down easy with a beej from my whore friend. pretty generous if you ask me. (it’s a sneaky dirty trick you can bring up later on when the guy is sobbing and saying nasty desperate things you just passive aggressively remind him that he got blown by your friend in front of you so who’s the one who cares about whom now?)”

    absolute gold. i’m still at work… shared it with the rest of the weekend work force… positive reviews.

    i am developing a theory:

    related to men vs. women

    i think that women are moreso the human beings…

    and that men are more hold-over animal.

    i realize that a lot of people already hold similar beliefs

    but there are all sorts of ramifications…

    to relate to what you were saying in that stripper/bachelor party rant:

    your logic is pretty solid, as far as vengeance goes. And I think that your attitude, or your reaction, …in terms of understanding that the real stab-for-stab after the stripper party would be acting like a slut on a night out… shows that you can understand things without a sort of blind pride. the reaction you came up with is such a calculatory filth. I mean its beautiful… in a twisted and ‘on the money’ way…. but it sort of hurts the inner-dude to consider the way in which going out to a strip club seems in light of how infuriating the idea of your girlfriend/fiance rubbing up on other dudes would be… to go one step further with the decimation of the standard… imagine that you found out what strip club your man’s bachelor party was going to be at… and that subsequently you managed to get yourself on the performance list at that strip club on that night…

    it would pretty thoroughly highlight the thoughtlessness of occasions such as those.

    that puts your reaction in a nice smooth justice category. which is quite different from the way that males operate.

    i think that males are always subject to the cock/rage/pride situation whenever challenges, obstacles, decisions present themselves. women seem to go into a mode of calculation that involves more stuff… and although the reasoning may not always be linear… women seem to get at the heart of what’s going on with human beings in a way that men seldom do. in my opinion that all stems from the fact that dudes are still hardwired to shred whatever’s in their path until they can plant their seed in something comfortably. obviously there are exceptions to these hypothetical rules.

    maybe i’m off on this… but in my experience… women have always done better in social situations (excluding immature crush-phase ‘trying to get noticed’ dynamics, etc.) … and considering that our species is a complete convoluted social vomit… women may have, and deserve, the upper hand in manipulation, supplication, being human, because they see social things in more detail.

    right… so again, i’m not sure. need to hash the theory out… have to make sure i’m not just hypnotized by tits.

    oh… and considering whether its cooler to be ‘human being’ or ‘mostly mindless animal’… enters a completely different conversation. i think girls might get the shaft on that one too.

    but you know what… a lot of people from both sides of this breakdown will be searching for their faces later this evening… so i guess we can find common ground in misery, horniness, and the enjoyment of getting fucked up.

    …drink a beer.


  33. my friend’s fiance is the dirty weasel. he also enjoys talking at my tits whenever she exits the room.

  34. Edit on the comment. So here is what my friend came up with for her fellow Dancers.

    Momma: She has been dancing for years and feels she should guide everyone and nurture them. Not on drugs, maybe drinks too much, is proud of her body and her profession and tries to make all of the dancers proud of their professions. The one who is called when all of the other dancers are in trouble.

    The bitch: Older like the Momma but resents the younger dancers and attempts to make their lives miserable. She is hated by the Momma.

    The whore: She wants to make as much money as she can even if it means having sex with the customers.

    Druggie: Needs to get her fix so that she can get high. Momma is usually getting her out of some kind of trouble.
    The teaser: Loves getting men aroused. She plays the men in the club really well and you would never know that she is a dancer outside of the club.

    The Lesbian: She prefers women but she dances for men. She likes getting them horny but would never have sex with them. Two of the dancers were lesbians and a couple.

    The Naïve baby: She was into dancing because she could make money. The spot was a safe place to dance nude and not have to give lap dances or ever be touched. She did not know what she wanted in life. She was usually from a small town or somewhere in West Virginia. Several naïve babies came through that summer and only one stayed. She is now a Momma.

    The abused one: She claimed she danced because she was sexually abused. She hated what she was doing but kept on dancing.

    The professional: She is a dancer and very good at it, perhaps dances in other venues, enjoys her job and loves having fun. She treats the men well and she is treated like a goddess. Momma was a professional but because of her age everyone called her Momma.

    The Madonna: She walked into the place and became the favorite dancer. She came out of nowhere, did not tell anyone about her background, did not seem to have a family, she just danced so well that all the men loved her. The Momma gave my friend the name.

    The Momma really loved my friend, even knew what she was up too after my friend got drunk with the Momma and told her the secret, and they still keep in touch. Momma is now the manager of the place, no longer dances, but still loves her job and dancing.

    When the summer ended, my friend went back to her normal life and we keep in touch. She has never been back to a dance club.

  35. Ummm, ever thought that guys going to strip clubs may have more to do with the people you hang out with than their gender? To me it would appear to be a matter of refinement…that is, men who go to strip clubs are tacky and have poor taste in women(among other things, presumably). I hope you don’t think I’m being judgmental or moralistic…I’m only taking exception to the shitty behaviour of some relatively small sectors of society being served up as the norm. In other words, there are vast quantities of better adjusted men who do not have that tradition. I like you Raymi…I hope you can find men who have more imagination than to engage in the pathetic and rather stupid act of wasting their money on disinterested naked women.

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