guy got mad balls

curve balls that is, which is what we done did last nite at the ROM. other than the junos gala dinner and like, weddings, ’twas my first real ball experience. here it goes…

that’s a spray-painted model, her name is tiffany (hi!) and good for her v pro. i gave her my card and when i got home there was already an email waiting. fil got a better picture too bad i ruined it, she offered for me to be in it and step up there.

hello lips, where are you? i JUST applied lipstick before walkin’ in there too, ugh.

haaaaaalladay! pitt was losing his mind with every text fil sent him. sorry!

so the scene last nite was like a billion blue jay players, past and present, and even better, baseball wives! surreal.

kinda like batman oh no biggie just a, you know, BEAR.

green and purple must be very in, same colours used at the junos thing.

i took so many pictures of the chairs, sass says: uggghhh those are my dream chairs Philippe Starck ghost chairs well that’s great, the effect pays off as i walked into them a hundred times cos you cannot SEE them.

guy behind that palm is a retired-jays, no idea any of their names sorry but you can spot them out easy as they’re built like football players. crazy. it felt like being in jerry maguire. one winked at me too after i gave the table behind us the thumbs up (HAHA I KNOW brutal) when every jay-allum stood up to be clapped for.

the reverse-smug was palpable for me in-wearing probably the least expensive dress in the room and killing it. so funny, the dripping in money gowns going by.

dinky was on the clock. also can i brag this, $1k plate dinner? insane.

hahaha i dunno why that’s funny to me. that mural is terrible, distract from it with these purple dots.

fil hung his jacket on my chair and it annoyed me cos then no one could check me out.

i had no idea randy bachman would be sitting at our table, that’s his chair on the right mere seconds before he plants his ass in it. i called my dad to share the news, no answer. then my brother, i had to scream whisper into the phone to be stealth about it.

i txted lia to tell her i was at a ball (she loves to blog about them) and that kids were singing the hills theme song and in no way did i translate it properly over text cos she replied 4 times WHAT WHY CHILDREN WHY ARE THEIR CHLDREN THERE? hahah. this is what i meant!

then i scrutinized kevin frankish to see if he was about to wig out. i even approached him afterward to tell him i too suffer from anxiety and how does he deal cos i often am hindered by it (can’t go out to such-and-such event) he says he has a great support team and he doesn’t take chill pills. amazing.

see there’s that i just met someone important face pose again, ugh. the other city tv chick cheersed him during our short chat (code for do you need to be interrupted?) and he continued talking to me so i wasn’t that creepy. win.

the bach lands! gibson donated a guitar and lessons from randy w catered lunch then del at our table added a case of wine (worth 1k) and tina threw in an extra guitar – it went for $13k! there was a trip worth 5 grand that went for only 3, people love their guitars. oh and guess who won the guitar auction…

fil you owe me one for insisting you hunt down the winner. oh the auctioneer was crazy impressive too.

game face on. this was in poor taste of me i know. sorry once in a lifetime chance much? i didn’t say one word to him at least.

blue jays behind us stacked these up, even funnier stacked. god what is my problem.

setting up goody bag station.

tina’s necklace i would kill her for and fantastic cleave. (gimme the link to the site from which it came).

beef tenderloin i inhaled.

loved the table settings. A+.

bag switch. oh yeah i sat in something wet when i sat down to talk to kevin then had to hike up my dress to the blowdryer in front of all these totally rich snooty women. that was an interesting out of body/mind experience – be cool be cool hahaha sigh and everyone ignored me like the plague not one sympathetic eye contact glance. i felt like exclaiming IT WASN’T MY FAULT.

priceless experience (thank you tina!). all his stories segueing into each song and how they came to be. he wanted one jam to be akin to paperback writer but was told his hook was way too similar then he came up with something new and that song became takin’ care of business. we learned about no sugar tonight as well and that other song where he stutters, cos his brother stuttered and it was a joke to humiliate him and then an eventual bet? that he could make it hit the charts, and it did! and that song is you ain’t seen nothing yet. crazy! can you believe i actually paid attention to all of this?

oh god i had multiple rhubarb crumbles, the table beside ours cleared out so we scooped all their desserts.

tina favoured the lime ice (gelato?).

holy relax tan face. oh yeah fil bid on a $200 jersey and won!

time to go. we may or may not have took a bottle of wine with us. p’shh who doesn’t? that’s del, official wine supplier for the vancouver olympics (i *think* we’re gonna be there for them).

i considered taking that but like, what would i do with it?

some guy was live-broadcast interviewing all the jays he came up to me and kevin (ha me and kev we are pals now) and was like no one was paying attention i think and i said not true something like all the people you think not paying attention ARE and he nodded like i blew his mind. oh god way more profound-sounding last nite hopefully.

i didn’t even clue in to the open bar til the very end. smart. i like how i said monday no more party for the rest of the week. idiot. you should never say something like that ever. that’s scotch whiskey, i hate scotch, didn’t finish it. i do not understand the enjoyment of turpentine-tasting crap, is it a dude thing like the one who orders the most foul-flavoured booze wins the biggest man prize? don’t even get me started on women who pretend they enjoy cigars. capital DOUCHE.

that would be my am i in trouble playing dumb face “oh i didn’t know.” laserbeam eyes enhance it.

no biggie! they told me to put it on i was too embarrassed to, one girl was shaking her head at me when i said is it ok to? meanwhile all the dudes were like YEAAAAAAAAH DO IT. i didn’t.

someone forgot this i have no intention of eating it tina so let me know i’ll bring it out with me today, one is enough for us.

fig nEWWWWWWtons.

two things i will never learn to do but wish i would, play guitar and knit.

wuh-oh time to go home when this starts happening.

excuse me, did someone order the demure?

aaaaaand just as i was texting alicia about the WWF belt to tell joe look who should walk on, the dude who bid on it. so funny.

he was very excited. last name, downs? (according to pitt).

last photo before i passed out. oh i just remembered i caught up on the last episode of rock of love bus when fil fell asleep (he does not share in my fondness of garbage reality television) so now i just have to watch the reunion, don’t tell me anything about it.

you can check oot fil’s photos from last nite, all proper ones of every face you want to see. bye friends!

omg brutal! when tina and i went out after appetizers for some air and it was still light out these losers had just showed up. meaning they waited a good two or so hours! i’da spat on that motherfucker, swearing at him was totally called for. you never owe a thing to anyone, ever, no matter what, let alone some puny nerdy sports fan stalking around a charity event to heckle you on the way to your car. wait, fil says they had been there the entire time and had loads of junk to be signed, not even fans just opportunistic dicks.