Bangawoyo
growing a gay best friend from raymi lauren on Vimeo.
this (leave your pint at the bar) is a bad sign when it comes to cuisine in a sports bar. thanks fil for taking me here after sitting in your car for three hours reading nylon to keep you company. worst greek pasta salad ever, thanks for the “secret greek spices” which were where/what exactly? fil ordered a blackened chicken pizza and it pretty much tasted the complete opposite of blackened chicken. on our way out he goes oh right i’d only ever had beer in there before. GREAT.
canadians rule eh, someone tried to heat their car free?
well i guess it worked cos the spot was free heheheh.
this is how you eat onion dip when the dip is all the way at the bottom of the jar and your chips are just dust and crumbs.
put the teaspoon in the jar, get a modest (HUGE) amount then jam as many chip babies you want that’ll stick to it.
tell your hangover i say no problem. pay it forward dudes!
oh and now charting the progress of my new gay best friend:
in the first two hours expect some growth then forget about him completely and do your thing, he takes 72 hours to reach maximum size.
lookin’ a bit bloated there guy.
holy shit gross!
i think they got the jock best friend mixed up with the gay guy, gays would not wear flip flops this is a jock uniform.
next morning i think? my pics are all scattered i can’t be bothered to organize them or measure this thing.
so like, are you ready to go shopping yet?
zzzzzzzz.
now this morning do you see a difference?
alright so on our way back home last nite eastbound on the 401 just before mavis fil sees a car skid wobbling super fast so he accelerates and says holy shit i am leaning over fiddling with the radio and just as he exclaims holy shit i look up to see a car flipping up into the air hollywood styles does a complete 360 degree rotation landing back down on its wheels with snow exploding all around it and everything inside it jostled around (had it bounced in a slightly different way your hero here might not be writing this currently) fil immediately calls 911 i say should we pull over should we pull over omg omg OMG no it’s not safe to then we listen to 680 for the every ten minutes traffic report saying there’s been a collision and hopefully paramedics are on the scene. the rest of the drive home my heart was pounding in my head with adrenaline surging like an m’fer. that was my first real car crash witness holy fuck does that ever put some shit in perspective for you right on the spot no? i turned back and couldn’t see anyone in the car i hope that person was wearing a seat belt and hope to god no kids were in that car it was a pretty big doozy of a slam. fil hasn’t heard anything else about it on the news since. i still can’t get that flip out of my head and then the abrupt suspension bouncing and snow flying everywhere and everything inside floating slow motion and the sound jesus. it was kinda terrifying.
anyway, that’s enough about that.
hi raymi-
yes, scary.
also thinking that, for as many car crashes we have “seen”-
via movies, tv, etc-
nothing like being anywhere near the real thing.
also, notice the header image with the cat…
do you have those crazy commercials up there with the “snuggie” blanket thing-
people down here are crazy for them, i don’t know what’s wrong and its unsettling a bit.
vincent, in buffalo
i am so over the snuggie it is beyond unfunny now
i am lucky in that i only just saw them recently…
what kind of rockhead wants to wrap themselves up in a cocoon like an old person… does this thing come with a shovel and some dirt, too?
might as well.
cheers to you and phil and your pet friends.
i’m getting ready to invade ontario… can i count on you as minister of propaganda?
Raymi! Long time no comment. I’m sorry your little gay friend didn’t work out. How big is he supposed to grow? His face looks like Curious George with the body of the Elephant Man. Poor guy :/ I’ll make sure I draw more weird cartoons on your facebook doodle
wait til you’re in your own accident (g-d forbid)
i peed my pants.
yeah um thanks can’t wait (i know what you meant but still jeez dude!)
i know it was just ringing in my head what a horrible thing to say sorry… duh.
we cool no prob
sweet merciful crap
hhhooollleee. that is so super scary! are your insides still all shaky?
my friends have a grow your own…penguin thing.
they put it in a bucket on top of their fridge and it got HUGE. it’s sticking out of the bucket now.
When I was a teenager, I lost control of my car on a wet road and skidded into a parked car. I couldn’t open my door so I clambered through the broken window because I thought the car would explode like in the movies. Fortunately I was not hurt because I had my seat-belt on. I’m more careful driving in wet and wintry conditions now. I hope you’re careful too.
That chip idea is highly innovative and I look forward to trying it.
that is the only way to eat leftover onion dip. because god forbid i ever throw out food!
very pretty necklace you got there.
and now I really reallly want some chips and dip.
i should get my period tomorrow.
Sheeit I’ve been to the ER twice after car crashes, once I wasn’t even the driver (Work truck “SAFETY ORANGE”) GOT WHIPLASH 24 hrs a day pain for weeks- so fun-then reinjured my neck and shoulder many many times later- when I settled for 5000 bucks I thought it seemed like a great deal at the time-
Then another crash and I got not 1 but 2 shots of morphine at the ER!
THEN, last year I had a reaction to a medication and went to the ER again, in an ambulance with firefighters i knew personally- how fun is THAT?! Wheeeeee!
Needless to say I have driving anxiety,,,,,,,,,,,
Oh man when yuula and I worked at seduction they had a grow your own penis thing that grows to regular wang size and i used to throw it in my boss’s water bottle and it’ll get huge within a couple of hours, like , too big to get it out of the bottle. Hilarious! Imagine if he drank that? I can think of a million disgusting scenarios.
You’re right, that gay best friend is all wrong. but they did get the 6 pack part right. wait, is that a 6 pack? I think he needs more water, then you two can get shitfaced and watch “Ab Fab” together.
Ummmm…….
What kind of Gay Best Friend has a mangled pink foetal like arm?
Also, most terrifying story ever.
fucking hell man, glad you’re alright. and LOL at ”so, like, are you ready to go shopping yet?” hahaha. he looks completely disabled. it’s taken ages to get to your blog over the past few days coz life’s a mess. as usual. love it, love him, love the fried egg sandwich im about to stuff in my face. so hungover. x
i’ve been in a couple of those.
exciting stuff.