AN ECCENTRIC MESS

what am i drying my fucking nails here?

Matthew: what time are you heading to steamwhistle?

me: 6 or so maybe be there a bit after

Matthew: cool, I’ll probably get there at like 7
I have to pick up my tux for my brother’s wedding

me: ahh
are u going to wear it
you should
fil is wearing work clothes

Matthew: hahaha
that would be awesome

me: that would be SOOOOOO funny

Matthew: I can’t fuck it up though

me: then you can be uptight about it all nite long

Matthew: just in case anything happens

me: omg that would be the funniest surprise ever fil would laugh his head off

Matthew: oh my god that would be so fucking cool though

me: like dumb and dumber

Matthew: bahahahahahaha

me: except u are one-upping fil at his own show

Matthew: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

me: PLEASE do it
im going to sort of dress up
well wear tights and a dress at least

Matthew: I totally can’t, what if I spill shit on it or something

me: dude there’s nothing to spill other than beer and that comes right out
are you planning to fall into some red wine

Matthew: you never know how the night will go
it could happen!

me: oh man

Matthew: I fall in some pudding or something
There’s mud wrestling there

me: well i think it would be one of your more greater accomplishments in life if you just started wearing a tuxedo
like as your new thing
other than socks and shoes mainly being your thing

Matthew: it would be quite awesome

me: you dont have the balls for it tho

Matthew: my brother totally wanted to get dumb and dumber tuxedos for the groom’s men actually but the wife vetoed it
hahahaha what are you trying reverse psychology??
like if you dare me to do it I will?
I think you’d know me enough by now that I totally would

me: im just saying if you have an eccentric thing, you stand out – an eccentric mess is always appreciated
i dare you to wear your tuxedo tonite
i am posting this conversation

Matthew: you should buy me a blue tuxedo with frills

me: and then if pictures turn up tomorrow of me and you and you in your tux you will come out looking like a champ

Matthew: I would totally wear it
dude, I can’t wear it. If it was mine yes, but it’s rented and 2 days before the wedding

me: bok bok

Matthew: wow, that is totally gonna work

me: hahaha fuck you fine just wear your regular shit garbage

Matthew: I will, I’ll be dressed like you

me: pantyhose?

Matthew: no, I mean the male version

me: i already dress like a man

Matthew: haha how do you figure that?

me: well there are certain manly things i add to my wardrobe
sloppy shit

Matthew: dude, it’s all in your mind
I never once thought you dress “manly”

me: you’re all in your mind

Matthew: crazy, yes. manly, no

me: well i guess the perception i have of myself is a little outdated

Matthew: you dress normal girly, maybe you’re thinking of your lesbo short hair cut from 30 years ago

me: 30 years ago!
it looked kinda how yours does now

Matthew: yeah, you’re like what, 47 now?

me: i am going to charlie horse you

Matthew: hahahahaha

me: i dont dress nearly as crazy as i used to when i was actually crazy

Matthew: I was just fucking with you cause you write it on your blog, I don’t think you dress crazy

me: like punched out lenses sunglasses and lipstick on my teeth
i didnt take it to heart nothing you say affects me

Matthew: I think the lipstick on the teeth thing happens with old age
I read about it yesterday
nothing to heart? not even nice things?

me: when was the last time you said something nice to me
and im kidding

Matthew: I know
lipstick teeth explained!

me: dude that is like the only place you get your information from, the only links you ever send me are from cracked

Matthew: hahaha it’s part of my lunch reading along with your blog
and porn

me: so you are becoming progressively more stupid with each passing day

Matthew: by reading your blog, yes

me: and cracked
i lobbed you that one purposely

Matthew: there was no other way I could respond to that

me: you were supposed to one-up not barely match it redundantly
ok i have to pick out a shit garbage outfit now

Matthew: I’m working at the same time
I’ll be at the top of my game as always tonight

me: wicked!