wine attack birthday girl.

snicole/theletterpurple were on the scene last nite. lovely ladies.

just a little for now so alicia can get on with her day. she and steph had themselves a funnay cigarette then disappeared for awhile. steph was very excited about going out on the town with the big girls. haha. alicia left her id at the front door and i have it on me now and am about to take some pictures of it for my blog.

so i have this thing where i think i’m really fucking funny right?

i think it got funnier as the nite wore on, at first i was like haha look at me in your jacket but NOW look at me giving you a painting of your jacket while wearing it.

leave me alone the last two mornings some dick has been hammering the bedroom wall and conveniently stops once i get out of bed wtf? guys i prefer your shitty guitar music!

see this was yesterday morning. the hammertime i was treated to this morning was far worse, harder, faster, louder BUT stopped the second i got out of bed. can’t wait to hear what tomorrow’s performance will be like!

woah i didn’t realize my roots were so light.

were lindsay lohan and i wrote to you and told you that you looked at me once before in real life (true story), would you write back?

what if i also told you i painted a picture of you?

oh man, i can pretty much file that one under NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

fuck, i should have followed it up with i have a card of this picture on my fridge (also true):

she at least straight away accepted my friend request on myspace and it was her real account this time, unlike the fifty other times i wrote to “her”.

Phil: she probably needs your friendship

me: well its not like 4895458745340

LINDSAY IF YOU ARE READING I SWEAR I AM NOT CRAZY AND I MEANT EVERY WORD IN THE COOLEST WAY POSSIBLE AND NO IT’S NOT BALONEY I ONLY SAID THAT TO MY BOYFRIEND TO SAVE FACE.

CON

i was just drinking some coke out of the bottle and the cap fell out of my hand and bounced off my second from the left little toe on my left foot and it actually fucking hurt. yes that’s right, a little plastic cap.

PRO

i was also attempting to swallow a vitamin D (cancer fighting power!) pill at the time (hence the coke chugging) and the pain startled me into swallowing the pill effortlessly in lieu of pill swallowing limbo i am typically stuck in where i stand there with my arms out trying to grasp at invisible tables (? i know) and the ratio of saliva to liquid in my mouth to direction of the sun and silence in the room etc must be just so before i have the courage to gulp it all down.

i over think shit, basically.

hello iamneurotic.com much?

i had issues learning to swallow pills as a kid. true embarrassing story. there is nothing more disgusting than a tablespoon of OJ and some mystery white powder mixture floating around in your mouth.

get ready for ten minutes of stupidity!

please don’t make fun of all the dumb things i say.

hi there i love your cooking videos you 2 come across well on camera..i work for the cooking department for the bbc here in england and we have a show coming up and would love to put your video in it..the show will be based on poultry could you do a video on how you cook and carve a turkey please let me know if you can do it thanks *******

i have never cooked a turkey before in my life, this is nuts.

ahhahahahaha

this guy is serious.

WELL SORRY I’M NOT LIKE FIVE HUNDRED YEARS OLD.

spoken by probably the dumbest chick i have ever seen.

then later she says well sorry i’m not 80 years old.

yeah yeah you’ve already seen season 2, canada gets your recycled garbage a ways after, it doesn’t make it any less valuable though. rock of love is probably my favourite show in the universe, aside from king of queens, hope & faith, full house and i forget the rest. i watch a lot of bad television, sorry guys. if it’s bad for you, then it’s good for me.

thanks to king of queens, fil and i have an irritating repeat what the other person says in a stupid voice game we play. ex: i am going to the bathroom (i say) you’re going to the bathroom (fil says at me). i know! (i say) you know! (fil says) on and on until i explode.

in other news i look like a fucking muppet.

i am uploading a ten minute video right now PLEASE WORK!

oh just this guy dragging our bikes the weekend we were away, no biggie, just trying to steal them is all. i have loads more up close of his face. there’s more to the story that i cannot share here unfortunately cos it is supes juicy! anyway, burn on that guy and thank god one of those bikes was busted at the time, he couldn’t twist fil’s lock apart so he dumped them with the rest of the bikes, idiot move you lazy thief, couldn’t put them back where they came from, had you done that we wouldn’t have known you ever came. how’s jail?

we dropped in on the new sobeys that opened yesterday SO PUMPED ABOUT IT!

me and jen have the same obscure japanese doll!

hers (on the left):

mine:

the sombrero accessory i got in mexico, didn’t come with her.

and now obviously it’s time to vote!

they have the same face i meant to say hair
oh well