i am neurotic.

teeth clippers

Whenever I see or think about toe nail clippers, I imagine someone using them on my two front teeth to crack them apart and it makes my teeth “hurt”.

stephinator did a little drop-in to bring me romantic strawberries cos i said they were gay which was basically the go ahead i guess? then we went for a little walkies and i sent her back to work after begging her to play hooky. she’s comin’ round after. so i went-a clothes browsing, even though i am attending a clothing-swap tonite which reminds me i have to get on sortin’ through my lame-o cast-aways asap.

this guy 50% off, size 6, wasn’t feeling it, the details are nice but just didn’t look very flattering. i have to say i’m pretty bummed over the renovation of the bloor h&m, so unnecessary and way less crap to choose from.

pass.

passed on these too and they are so cheap, didn’t fit as tight as i had hoped and the bottom hem is slightly bubbled, so over.

oh great what fun it is to watch your bike get pounded when you just want to go homezzzzzz.

dinnerz is served.

finally went in that little cheese shoppe in the manulife centre and was stoked to discover the meats on offer. will def. bring fil back.

7.99 same price as grocery store frozen “gourmet” deals. there is even a 40 dollar frozen pizza! it had avocado and other stuff on it like gold, frankincense and myrrh.

second shitty luck thing today (first was biking home in the cold rain half naked with frozen goods in my bag rubbing up against my wet rained on body if i’m lucky i’ll get pneumonia) i had to throw it all out, shards got all mixed in, sigh. avert your eyes from the dirty floor thank you.

but a sick-ass top balances it all out. i covered the label so you can’t all run out and get the same one. ha. there is another one slightly like it in blue that looked ever so magical on me, stopped myself at just one thing, i will probably be wearing it in a dream tonite.

and here are the rest of the archives of aug. 2007

look out, dad’s on the scene!

omfg AGABI!!!!!!!!!!!

my name is john daker, wait for him.

if you want that namibia is for lovers! shirt go to goldenfiddle and yes i am their new junky model and yes i meant new as in old and junky as in drunky.

say yes to my crack

oh taco <3 it is dick jokes HEAVEN!

oh and our type of music is party rock or music to suck dicks by.

poetry makes me want to kill myself

do you want to hear a story about fil’s and i’s friday nite passionate sleepwalking lovemaking or do you want to pass?

breakfast sex

some island vids.

Ryan: i had a dream you sold me a faulty pontoon boat
and stole most of my super nintendo games

i know you all think i’m a self-indulgent know it all arrogant dick with all these asshole opinions

bang lime at lee’s was a good time.

which is your favourite lindsay lohan?

she said come back and visit us when you are married hello nice as hell much?

girl time post

let me know if you want to be in my full house club

ran out of vodka?

you can’t afford these lamps, lamps.

me: i think that men should be forced to pay for half of their gf’s purses cos we carry all their shit and they hound us WHERE IS YOUR PURSE I NEED SOMETHING and they go thru it constantly and re-arrange all your junk

then i said i don’t want to be with someone who always makes me carry the movie.

i won a magoggy and you didn’t.

i still would like fil to deliver his opinion to a gaggle of chicks at whatever next art hipster shithead party comes up, hot fil arrives and says excuse me but you made my penis die

happy bday samir

and made everything a race-thing when actually everything was about how aggressive, argumentative and irritating he is.

should i leave a passive aggressive note or not?

i am never saying bye to anyone ever again EVER from a cab

when i was done talking about myself, we went home.

me: doofy scenesters would think you were a legend with your retarded stories

we can hug it out betty.

neither bell i bought fits on fil’s bike. we watched super high me last nite, it was alright, kinda weak, obvs made by stoners. listening to stoners when you’re on a drunk is very irritating, like no we are not on the same wavelength right now duuuuude the tone and timing of all your jokes are so not making me laugh right now. but for all you potheads out there, this movie will make you laugh. then we ate the fridge (not much in there) and were still hungry so we rode to ginger for the first time and i noticed a girl staring at me a lot 1. she reads my blog or 2. was just confused by my presence for some reason? STOP LOOKING AT ME EVERY TIME I TURN MY HEAD PLEASE. do you ever get stares? the last thing you are allowed to tell yourself is they so think i’m a babe, it has to be every negative thing BEFORE you are allowed to jump to that conclusion. anyway, staring doesn’t jive with me cos i am too neurotic to look at people when out for a stroll, i only steal glances if i know i can get away with it, i don’t blatantly ogle them, like said chick was last nite. so not a big deal i know just using it as an example, cos on a few occasions when i’m just standing there minding my own, some chick will come around and bore through my brain with her eyeballs and i always want to ask WHY, not in a rude way, just you know, are you in a crazy right now? moving on oh right i decided to be creepy sleazy romantical to fil all nite long here are some of the things i said YOU ARE SUCH A BREATH OF FRESH AIR and HEY LOVERRRRRRR and ugh i can’t even finish i’m about to throw up in my mouth. all things said in wickedly breathy fashion of course *cringe*

today’s weather seems like it’s going to blow so there’s that.

i’ve also decided i’m no longer putting up with anymore of your guys’s shit, don’t comment here on some fucking anecdote i wrote about in passing and assume you have it all figured out, stop wasting my time and pissing me off. thank you. if you have nothing intelligent to say that doesn’t revolve around how i put some sod in their place (most of the time i’m not even doing that, it’s their shitty behaviour i’m highlighting here and i barely get a balanced word in to counter) and how fucking EVIL i am, remove yourself from my comment thread or maybe THINK on it first, because you’re a little baby wuss who lets people shit on you in real life and get away with it, doesn’t mean everyone else is.

i’ve strayed too far from the original point of this journal and have allowed all your sensitive-susan’s opinions shit up my vision. you know what i mean? i’m not a giant asshole who walks around screaming at people, i merely share stories on my blog about stupid assholes who get my goat cos i find it entertaining, as do many others. i go out in the world and shit either happens to me or around my immediate vicinity and then i friggin’ blog about it, simple. if you live in a city and frequently go out, the probability of some jerkoff lipping at you for no good reason is pretty high (and i don’t even write about every little thing that occurs) but you wouldn’t know that would you from behind your safe little computer desk in suburbia, so stick to your martha stewart crafts webring in the future maybe?

i’m also bringing back this poll, last year’s results are still there:

unfortunately the thread for these gems is gone, but still, hahahaahhaha.

THAT’S MY FUCKING FACE!

have since turned them into daisy dukes that the entire universe hates.

dericious salad.

jap food a la burlington.

diarrhea sandwich.

duh you have an allergy, genius.

jerry had a huge bodyguard with him to guard his long stupid ponytail and wimpy arms

me: now that it’s on my blog maybe you can have a dream about your dream

that outfit i’m wearing is so fucking stupid i can’t stop laughing.

velvet revolver/alice in chains pics.

new shit product

a package from etienne came today.

found another emo journal from 2001, living in brooklyn, mississauga, then maine.

so here is another story about the annex.

seeing as my blog is blocked from every public computer, i may as well keep up my end of the deal.

50th anniversay of on the road.

because nothing makes me want to buy a watch more than ghost rider.

guntsicles

this is how aged i am, my left ass cheeck buttock if you will, is in total agony, i tried to push fil into a wall on the way to the varsity theatre yesterday

the actual piece i wrote for laist.

uuuuuuuuuh is someone playing a tambourine inside your head too?

i’m sorry if you can’t handle that i had miles of leg BEFORE wedges and now i am mt. everest with big period tits

next time i will just play dumb so hard that he brushes my hair for me.

Hey raymi,

Good work on appearing in my dream last night.

so we slept in the scary house in our tent

my nana and papa’s 50th anniversary party.

fil‘s mom really wants grandchildren.

this one’s for the ladies

you have infiltrated my unconscious mind

my beautiful poetry slams war has been wiped away, sigh.

shedoesthecity went live a year ago from this date.

bacon!!!!!

more island pics.

we played go fish and it almost got violent

party in your mouth party

and now it is time to hate on hip hop culture (fucking babies).

pitt decided to involve himself in a game of catch with two dudes, who were casually lobbing a ball back and forth, pitt ever the competitor, whipped the ball to one guy and the other launched it back, pitt caught it with his face.

evidence i’m skinnier since this photo was taken, well less-wide, plus that dress was super unforgiving and the jacket over-top completely hides my waistline.

save me a poster jen!

and new honest ed’s slippers, this time i got my own size (8) they seem like they will give a little, 9.99 and comes in blue white black metallic silvery, if they end up not being heel killers i’ll go back and get black.

i also got us new bike bells!

here’s what they sound like:

that dog has the best pigtails i have ever seen on a dog.

kenny and i are friends again.

fil took the stickers off his bike when he noticed someone with the same ride did the same. he was also pretty ripped yesterday.

i looked like shit all day yesterday, didn’t shower. i think i have to dye my hair soon and get a face tan.