so many hustlers out hustlin today!

i have been craving jerk sauce for a few days now, it hit peak last nite when i came home and smeared some on my last half of tuna sandwich (yesterday i ate THREE tuna sandwiches)(and that’s it)(anyway) tonite is jerk chicken nite so i went out to get fixins from dominion (they carry the brand of tipsy jerk i prefer, loblaws has the other saltier kind (lame) even though it’s a million times more fattening (the tipsy jerk is) I DON’T CARE because it is a million times more delicious!) fuck enough brackets? and so as i am power marching and starving past spadina/bloor i see all those guys with black zipper binders and some rubbermaid thing, all chatting away, i maneuver my way around and through them thinking YES free! and what do ya know, one RUNS after me saying hey hey hi what’s your name lauren i say then he says whatever his dumb name is i say what are you selling and quicken my pace almost speed-walking, and so he matches my speed, he chuckles oh no not selling anything why would you think that? oh well the fact that you are SPEED WALKING ALONG SIDE ME AND YOU ARE A STRANGER (i don’t say that) but i do point at his binder and say BECAUSE OF THAT and he laughs some more, no no i’m not selling anything, i’m not scamming anyone and i’m not a creeper or anything like that. oh so this ISN’T creepy right now? coulda fooled me. anyway he says BUT do you like children? what kind of question is that i’m thinking and honestly say uh well nah whatever not really i don’t know thinking he’s going to rail into me about starving third world kids then i see on his binder it says PLAN or something else fishy, and now we are at the doors of dominion (i was going to use that as my out even though i wanted to walk to the wine store first but i feared this ding-a-ling would speed walk alongside me all the fucking way there) so i turn to him and say accusingly ARE YOU ANTI-ABORTION? and right then and there his veneer of chill cracks and he disgustingly spits out YES and i go SEE YA and take off as he is calling my name behind me down the street going aw come on lauren we can work this out! WTF RIGHT! then this white old guy asks me what was that guy saying and i jump a mile cos two strangers now in the span of minutes are talking to this guy i blurt out oh pro-life bullshit and immediately regret it cos this dude looks like he may be conservative but he says oh he wants you to vote “insert some dude’s name i have never heard before but assume is conservative” and then we both snort and then he says i thought he was mormon, trying to convert you, this guy is also walking just as fast as i am so i’m like great now we are in a conversation walking in the same direction, so i go yeah, not today buddy, (as in there will be NO conversions today) dude gets the hint, takes his pace down a clip and off i go miraculously into the sun right into some doctors w/o borders chick canvasing, oh good grief. then on my way back the black history month shiesters are at it again in front of shoppers. so damn pushy.