wow, i hate you.

that’s rough.

you are such a piece of shit, that’s animal abuse, you don’t deserve to have a dog. it’s bad enough when parents let their children overeat, but to overfeed a pet that doesn’t have the ability to stop itself, that’s cruel and unforgivable.

ewwwwww i’m trying really heard picturing someone who looks like a porn star doing this but i have a feeling you look like a fat sweaty clammy cow, hence the jogging.

as you should be, let them duke it out on their own, live your life buddy.

i told fil that i whisper this into cid’s ear all the time HAHAHAHAha he was not pleased.

i brought a huge red dildo to the UK when i was 17 and the last week of the trip i started getting wicked paranoid over it so i threw it in a garbage can in rayne’s park wimbledon. i always wonder if some hobo found it and what the look on their face was.

it’s hard to see yourself as skinny if you were ever big and lost the weight, shitty, you go through life feeling like a whale and inevitably put the weight back on then look at old pics of yourself when you were thin and feel shitty all over again like fuck why didn’t/couldn’t i enjoy that body when i had it!?!?

awwwwwwwwwwwwww that makes me feel so sad. i bet i would likely do the same.

good, finally someone who is rightfully told off doesn’t flip it around and project it back onto the person doing the telling off, why the fuck can some people just not take the truth? if you’r a dick and i tell you HEY YOU’RE A DICK why do you turn it into a much larger thing about me and MY problems? i mean, i thought we were talking about how much of a dick you are and i’m trying to help you change.

don’t bother, it will be so underwhelming when you meet again in ten years. i got in contact with my fave high school teacher over email recently and was so pumped that we would have all these long email exchanges, dude can barely string a 5 word sentence together. i know in real life he’s rad but internet-him, snore. i hope he doesn’t read my blog!

i forger why i saved this one to make fun of.

FIL I KNOW YOU SENT THIS ONE IN ABOUT ME YOU ASSHOLE!

yeah well it made ME feel fat and lazy and drunk.

dear god, please strike this person by lightning cos they are too moronic for this world. THAT “DUDE” ISN’T A DUDE, SHE HAS FEMALE REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS!

sorry this postsecret was a little uninspired, i need to start taking notes about each card i save when i save it. here’s all the other post secret posts i ever did:

here

here

here

here

here

here

oh and guess what! i just found out i’m having my book published by a real publisher, a chapbook version of it, which means i will also publish it on cafepress afterward in entirety.

THE INTERNET WAS DOWN SINCE I WOKE UP AND I STARTED CRYING (didn’t) AND THAT DIDN’T FIX IT BUT THEN FIL CAME HOME AND FIXED IT AND NOW I DON’T HAVE TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES AND RENT MOVIES ALL DAY LONG LIKE A L-OOOSER.

hi.

i was woken up by cramps at 6am and had to sleep on the couch with a nitemask, the bedroom was too hot cos the a/c in our building isn’t on yet. last nite we got the craziest loudest thunder/lightning storm, cid was petrified he cowered by my side of the bed on the floor, he never does that, it’s a blow to his ego admitting that he needs me for protection. burn on cid! we watched national treasure part 2 last nite, aside from the campy adult disney gayness, i liked it, the carmenere helped of course. plus nic cage’s hair looks more and more fucked up in each new scene. poor guy.

back to the weather, toronto is experiencing crazy tropical shit right now, hot hot hot sunny all day long then at nite huge ass rain storms, it’s pretty cool. i picture the planet getting pounded by lightning and get little kid scared over it, like how many more cracks can it withstand. GAY i know!

merkley???: so i see fil has loosened on the “no bush” rule so long as HE takes the photo. nice
that’s a big moment for you two
so many more possibilities for your mutual blogging

me: huh
everyone in my comments is like thats sooooo merkley
like you created pussy

merkley???: nah they are talking about the composition and color and the fact you are accessorized
it’s not merkley to include bush

me: the accessories were last minute

merkley???: i rarely include bush

me: i was about to shower
my face is totally gross

merkley???: but yeah the composition is vaguely resemblant

me: ive posed in the shower before
BEFORE I KNEW YOU MERKLEY
ha

merkley???: ha
well your readers are more observant
i thought the same thing

me: you did?

merkley???: but of course you are influenced by NOTHING

me: i didnt think of u at all

merkley???: you didnt take the picture

me: i thought hey fil im super tanned come take my picture

merkley???: fil gets the credit for the pic
not raymi

me: then i put on necklaces cos they hang on the door by the shower
and my pervert hat was also in the bathroom
voila, pictures

merkley???: anyway it’s one of fils best compositions
haha

me: wtf i posed in it
i get no credit

merkley???: you get credit as a model
so good job

me: and production assistant

merkley???: and as a styist

me: yes

merkley???: but fil composed it and thats what most sets it apart from a regular snapshot

me: im going to put more bush on my blog so people get tired of it as much as they are tired of my tits until it doesnt mean anything anymore, as it shouldn’t even to begin with

merkley???: i have noticed that he is more careful and deliberate lately

me: my mom and i had a super long email fight when i put up bush pics last week that i eventually took down (not cos of her)

merkley???: yeah bush is a complicated thing
i avoid it for the most part
mostly because it attracts an undesirable audience

me: yes it does
but it can be artistic
it covers up a lot but alludes to what is being covered up

merkley???: no matter how pertinent it is to a piece of art, a bunch of douchebags show up just to zoom in
i’m not at all anti-genital in art
i just am anti-douchebag
and with free genitals comes douchebags with boners

me: you cant not do something cos of douchebags tho
ban them

merkley???: i’m also not one to be upstaged

me: by genitals?

merkley???: and genitals are notorious for their massive upstaging
but yeah — i have ZERO issues with it other than having to deal with douchebags — it’s simply a lifestyle choice for me

me: right
oh man i have a moustache zit
painful
and do you have to be a certified retard to get a flickr account or something

merkley???: i’m a little surprised your mom was so anti

me: yeah shes a hypocrite

merkley???: she’s all braggy about the erotica stuff

me: shes like its your sacred area bla bla im like get off my blog

i’m searching online for kiddie pools, this summer is going to be a scorcher, fil says have fun filling it up with cup after cup after tiny cup of water. that’s it no kiddie pool for fil’s feet.

this is an obnoxiously low ranking, considering…

STREETBONERSANDTVCARNAGE linked my mariokart penis video! yay the cool kids acknowledged me.

that bridge is totally a penis look! you see it three times!

pass.

new favourite hangout alert, sorry the victory, you lose this time.

then sass showed up.

oh god this place is so cute.

mirrors everywhere

i can easily see reserving this little room for a private party.

then home to water our plants and make margaritas and steak. yesterday was such a nice day and now i have a zit that will never go away.

the name of this interpretive dancing retard is EPIC.

i just found out i get to smash a gibson guitar thursday morning at 7am for the hardrock cafe 30th anniversary, 30 people in all will be smashing guitars. that’s the morning after the nxne opening party, i’m gonna be hung.

the others be here.

i don’t even care anymore, i’m on my period, my boosh is the size of the ussr, and it’s HOT.