mr. postman return these pieces of shit to sender
uh why not just NOT make a big deal about it at all you ungrateful uptight anal sad loser be happy you were thought of PERIOD while your schmucky co-workers were on vacation taking the time out of THEIR relaxation time buying useless crap so you would feel included in the office world AS IF you wouldn’t be mailing in a bitter no one likes me at work postcard if they came back with nothing for you and while i’m at it you friggin’ egomaniac nice try posing like you were singled out as the gift exchange, it’s like valentine’s day in elementary school, get one for EVERYone or nothing at all, you’re just the only cry baby in the office who can’t deal with a measly fucking trinket ungh enjoy your shitty life.
and i think it’s funny that you will die alone because you clearly don’t know how unfunny feminine hygiene products are and how dated that whole tampons/pads thing is in THIS decade right now YOU AREN’T ROSEANNE BARR! i think you unearthed your “sense of humour” from 1993.
maybe they’re fat because you’re a bad friend?
ew! creepy postcard award goes to you! also mr. mystery so you raped your girlfriend and are apologizing now via this scary postcard? yeah totally forgiven this fixes everything!
oh burn you burned her good now go collect your award for best zinger on a friend her face will just be so priceless when you tell her i can’t wait!
GROAN “inner feminist” shut up deluded twat, enjoying a spanking here and there will not set back years of progress for our gender ok so stop posing as a feminist with every other breath you muster cos you are irritating, i knew a girl like you once who constantly told everyone how much of a feminist she was every chance she got, basically her excuse for being the village bicycle, next.
oh god not you again are you sure now you like who you are cos i’ve stumbled across your postcard before and i wasn’t buying it then. how can one just say they have changed into a new person, i’m sorry lady, PEOPLE ARE SHIT AND THEY DO NOT CHANGE. ever. if i said hey blog readers i’ve changed! how many of you would believe me? and how desperate are you? HEY GUYS, TRANSFORMATION UP IN HERE! I’M NOT A PSYCHOTIC NAG ANYMORE NOW I’M WHIMSICAL AND LAIDBACK AND NURTURING I SWEARRRRRRR!
uh um, good for you clap clap? do you want some sort of award for not dealing with whitey like normal? wow you must be way racialist-like if THIS is such a big deal for a postcard. i guess in some small shape or form this is a good move but wow, really?
well i don’t smoke the mj buuuut i’m pretty sure i’m a 9/10 for havin’ a buzz on usually and no i’m not sorry.
yeah i know chicks like you, you think home ownership is the end all be all and when my days of party glory are over you’ll be the bitter ones smiling in your backyards laying on your bed bath and beyond loungers gloating away at the miracle what is giving up your youth for your dream, oh it was worth it look at the newly renovated upstairs bathroom oh uh my husband yeah, um, didn’t work out turns out his dream wasn’t having the perfect home like me and all the fancy folded cloth napkins we ordered from france didn’t save the marriage, oh raymi? fuck her what a loser YES I LOOKED AT HER BLOG TODAY UNGH BARF SHE MAKES ME SICK I HAVE A HOUSE I HAVE A HOUSE I’M HAPPY I MEAN IT HOUSE HOUSE HOUSE!
HAHAhAhHAHAhAhAHHAa
you realize this is likely going to be the ONLY fucking shot in our lifetime to have a female president you pompous deluded moron shut the hell up and go back to yonkers!
yeah i feel that way too it’s ok, not that i almost died or anything but during my crazy depression and time on lithium i had zero capacity for creativity, socialization, bathing, it was terrible, i promised myself that if i ever came back to myself i would basically capture the moon and stars and make something of myself and you know what, some days are better than others, life isn’t a horse race, fuck ‘em, lets go bowling.
EXCUSE ME THE FUN POLICE ARE ON THEIR WAY TO ROUND YOU UP AND SHOOT FUN POPPERS IN THE AIR ALL AROUND YOU THAT IS SUCH A FUN FUN FUN IDEA!!!!! on purpose you say? omfg stanley i can’t breathe you are TOO MUCH!
you do realize that the way the media worded that was to get ratings right and that arnold schwarzenegger movie was A MOVIE and that it is not possible to get a dude pregnant and that “dude” was a chick WITH TITS AND FEMALE ORGANS and maybe you should spend less time reading the bible and more time reading a science text book.
DESPERATE AND FRUITY. did you follow that up with getting a phone number? yeah i doubt it i’m sure your first impression was real meaningful and didn’t have the complete opposite effect of what you were going after.
burn!
yeah keep telling yourself that it’s because you’re oh so witty and not because you’re actually an alienating tiresome delusions of grandeur snappy witch!
give them a picture of your friend and get them to tape it up and when you’re friend goes in they will tell him he’s banned.
prove it by cutting handicap off once and for all and when hard-pressed tell them exactly why and don’t even let them defend this abusive manipulative shit head anymore, tell them if they love you then they will listen to you, just because someone has a handicap doesn’t mean they aren’t capable of cruelty. tell the hoser they can’t take out their bitterness on you anymore and you’re not the one who broke their leg or whatever thing is wrong with them.
oh what a a selfish arrogant baby grow the fuck up and respond already before you know they WILL give up and realize your vindictiveness isn’t worth humouring anymore.
your dad sounds like a dick.
shitty how many chicks like you actually exist.
