im so hungover i wish i was dead
maybe i shouldn’t have made more chicken meatballs jerk sauce and sour cream wow. i painted my left hand’s fingernails fluorescent yellow (celtic sun), henna gave me a bag full of beauty products wicked score. i plan to take pictures of all my presents don’t worry, once i’m able to bend over without pitching my face to the ground, and also once the desire to barf dissipates, hopefully. fuck thanks for the shots everyone but never again. that prairie fire was an interesting way to start the evening, and then as i was introducing henna as hanna no hEN-naaaaaaaaah i knew it was downhill from there. and then i tried to catch sour watermelon candies in my mouth and failed every time, plonking myself in the eye instead, in front of everyone, it fuckin’ hurt. i also screamed out to jen JEN’S A SLUT as she was on stage just before singing, another shining moment by yours truly, then took it back by saying I WAS KIDDING or IT’S A JOKE. she did proud marry and even wore a chic tina turner style outfit, i accused her of planning that moment.
oh god then there was the lady with the sunglasses for bangs and sideshow bob hair who performed her original song and dance number and then tried to sell everyone her CDs jesus lady fuck off! oh yeah i also pointed at jen and screamed SHE WANTS ONE hahah oh jen after all these years yer still putting up with my shit, bless you. melodie sang, pitt sang, liam sang, henna sang, anita left just before her name was called. there was a cougar divorce party on the scene, v. nice. sharpie and samir came out, the confessions of a porn addict party was also at the gladstone in the back (which we (me/fil) were also supposed to attend) so easy for them to go back and forth party. brad britt nick tiff mike paul jeff gill olga matt courtney am i missing anyone? thanks guys! the karaoke host is still a hog who tries to duet with you or sing over you and does not hold back on facial expressions if he does not dig your steez, and usually this is when dudes are trying to be arty or interpretive or funny, he does not like being upstaged. also i noticed that all the songs i used to do and get standing O’s for are conveniently not listed in the song books anymore what the fuck. i asked him if there were other songs and he sternly told me no. i need my own karaoke bar who’s with me?
sharpie told me all nite long how skinny my thighs were, that was icing on the cake.
pitt was BLOWN AWAY by liam’s singing, he thought he was a ringer, i’m like pitt you gather that he is actually a musician you know and not some secret gem that came out of the shadows to sing for the first time in his life tonite? pitt did not compute. cougar divorce party were big fans of liam oh man.
matt just would not shut up about his socks and shoes fetish.
fil is actually laughing here this is not a pose and he did not know i was about to take a picture.
karaoke host was eyeballing liam something fierce too.
and this would be about the time when things continued moreso down the hill and i started crying ahahahahahahaha
i told him not to cos i thought it would sully my chances at singing another song (it didn’t thankfully) i had to hook him off, he went up w/o shoes on too he was going to fully commit. at first we were dueting but then i panicked thinking oh no i won’t be able to do one more song so i passed the mic up and then off comes pitt’s shirt.
DRUNKAOKE!
the camera turns off cos i see that the host wants pitt to be ejected and he’s just about to take his pants off, i smooth it over with the bouncer, after dragging pitt offstage and demanding he put his clothes and shoes back on.
