so the gum thief is bumming me out pretty much cos every other paragraph is a character talking about the end of the world, like come on coupland are you STILL doing that? also there is a goth girl who says the word damaged way too much, even once is too much, plus goth? old. pudgy goth chicks infuriate me, spoiled little babies who live with their mothers and blog “witty” one-liners they bark out at them over breakfast. they’re famous for women hating too.
every character in this book (in every one of his books actually) is exactly the same caliber of clever, the probability of striking up a random chit-chat rant conversation with a customer at a staples, a customer who is equally clever as you in every way and bears the exact same views on potato skins? insulting my intelligence much? coupland is kevin smithing himself and i hate it. only stupid people enjoy kevin smith, why? because they’re stupid and unoriginal and to them kevin smith is the most clever person in the world, to them he is magical and they feel intelligent when they watch his films over and over again because all of the dialogue is memorized and they feel part of the special i memorize dialogue in movies i love club, hey? why not read a fucking book instead! read the gum thief you’ll be right at home! does kevin smith write books? if so i want to read one just to know that i am right. about everything. all the time.
i’m probably never going to meet douglas coupland now.
sigh.
i did enjoy that one of the characters is an alcoholic though, but it’s sort of only glossed over, so far i haven’t been able to go on a bender with him, yet. i half-dig the staples setting, but not the smugness of that fucking goth chick who works there, because working at a staples with 40-something co-workers gives her another reason to be smug, and martyr-like. how about stop the cry baby emo thing, fuck off with that black lipstick and meet some real people.
fil and i just did it and then i took a power dump. me!
oh i also cleaned the bathroom last nite after weeks and weeks and weeks of closing my eyes when i go in there and totally deluding myself. tip to motivating yourself into cleaning the bathroom: vodka, invite people over, sit on the couch marinating in your vodka buzz and picturing guests in your bathroom. get to work. inspires boyfriend to windex the coffee table and takes all credit for cleaning “just for them?” when they walk through the door.
and yes i am a total bitch when it comes to your love of kevin smith, i’m sorry you like him so much. will we be able to get passed this?
