i sold two more paintings last nite after dinner at the beaver – pics to come of that later but first look at me with this balloon, it’s truly something.

we went to the silver dollar for the cd release show of katie stelmanis a truly amazing talent and voice she’s got though i fear the tiny art clique scene on a whole may be holding her back, snob wise anyhow, that place should have been more packed.

here is a quote i found in lullabies for little criminals (almost done!) that i was going to save for a rainy day burn i will say it now in reference to the specific art kids with their backs up (for some reason i refuse to figure out):

maintaining a superiority complex, especially when you were a loser, took a lot of mental effort and denial.

basically, chill a bit? i saw a few people i knew and fil pointed out how good they were at pretending you weren’t there, but they came to my art show i countered, i don’t get it. i just don’t anymore and i am tired of caring. the toronto crowd is talented at making you feel like you turned up to a kindergarden birthday party their mom forced them to invite you to, in case any of you outside toronto dwellers were ever curious.

anyway no hate no hate, well yeah tonnes, but you know what i mean, when does the fight for cool ever end?

in the crowd trying to get a few pictures while some dinky hipster dude with his ironic film camera elbows me every which way possible despite me being there first i’m thinking you know what mustache homeless outfit guy? it’s to this artist’s fucking benefit that i am here, your precious goddamn artist, so lay the fuck off. ass.

i blame yoko ono for all of this mess.

at the risk of bringing her down with my ship, hey xenia!

congratulations merkley on a successful party last nite, wish i could have been there, but judging from that two block line-up, mayhaps not.

this is what fil and i’s wedding reception will be like don’t copy it! oh my god i only lasted 1 minute of watching that.

embarrassing quote much?

story time!

soooooo last week i went on a shopping adventure at oakville place (the most retarded mall you will ever experience, every person in there dresses like they were barfed up from the hills, buzznet and myspace and they look you, well ME, up and down and it makes me really uncomfortable so i find myself always jogging, literally not walking as fast as i can through that fucking place).

actually this story is not about my shopping adventure at all, it’s about my returning a necklace adventure to a store i’m not mentioning anymore (no more free advertising) and then i stopped in at hmv to see if they had the royal tenenbaums (i have a gift card) so instead of combing the disorganized dvd section i went straight to this platinum blond little chick and asked if they had it she whisks me over to a computer, they don’t have it but she offers to look up which hmv does so i say ok and wait starting to sweat a teensy bit cos fil is out in his car like your dad with zero patience and i already returned the necklace and time is a ticking (he has a hair appt. to get to) anyway she’s clicking away in good form and THEN this fuzzy ponytail guy who also works at hmv (bad fuzzy with grease too and 3 inch dark roots w/ blond hair) comes up to her and says can i check something real quick? and she looks at me and my face is blank waiting to see if she pussies out and lets ponytail NERD take over (meanwhile there are 4 other empty computers beside her) and so he clicks clicks clicks and i am staring at him with all of my might and he is ignoring me as best he can cos he knows i am trying to bore a hole through his face, then he’s finished and goes away to his customer (whom i made a point to give cut-eye to as well) (ps. HIS customer looked like a pile of loser just saying i didn’t understand what the big deal was to interrupt an employee who was already serving a customer who at least made an effort appearance-wise) and they shuffle away a bit then the blond who is serving me goes back to the computer scrolling scrolling then i say WELL THAT WAS RUDE and she shakes her head agreeing with me and i say in sarcastic voice like i am already fucking serving someone here and she nods and says there are five copies at the hmv superstore i say ok where is that she says i don’t know it’s like IN TORONTO. oh ok thanks bye.

fuck oakville.

them (cokevillians) checking me out hard makes me uncomfortable ONLY because their world view/bubble is so tiny they think their style is original so when someone from the outside world strolls through it boggles them to pieces and they are flashing photographs in their head of your outfit to go home and copy it, the 13 year olds do at least.

oakvillian in urbandictionary read 4 and 5 hahahahahha.

pictures of the day go to: jen!

i swear to god this summer i am getting it RIGHT.

i finally did a puny amount of sit-ups on the bed two nites ago and felt so sorry for myself because it was really hard and pathetic and i just realized that the pain i am feeling right now in my abdominal area is from that duh.

celine dion is amazing. watch that video.

me right now.

holy hair!

well it was only a matter of time

oh yeah there are still many pieces available to own you guys so go to the crooked star and look at them and email me or whatever, cos cid sure as hell isn’t contributing towards groceries or rent.

look what i received in the mail from a “secret” “admirer” i totally know who sent it, anyway, it’s real.

she has one of her scarfs and hugged it to death.

fil‘s right, to sell more alarms the commercial should go, a bear breaks into a home, picks out important things to smash and stomp on, has his way with the pregnant mexican maid, wipes his ass with ancient pictures, eats all the salmon, leaves the toilet seat up and like. generally spazzes on the house before scampering off laughing and the people will be kinda mauled

love ryan

i love it how i have the sort of platfrom where i could write about people made out of garbage and impaled orangutans by unicorn horns and someone somewhere has two cents to chip in about it basically one-upping my mental retardations one day at a time.

ps. orangutan is the stupidest word.

pps. i’m going to tag one day at a time at the end of every sentence i say in real life from now on like how i said i was going to put a moral at the end of every blog post a year ago and when i went through my archives i noticed that i more or less stuck to that for a good little while, maybe i should bring back morals?

the moral of this post is i like chimay beer because it’s like a champagne bottle of beer for $6.30 and it has momentarily made me a comedian.

alicia wore the lederhosen i didn’t wear but in skirt-form, whore.

celebration dinnerskies at bar mercurio (<3)

we did it cheap-like, no wine.

the best carpaccio in toronto i say.

told ya.

we saw on citytv that there is a prowler in our neighbourhood, fil says that means a peeping tom, i freaked out and asked a thousand questions then we got in another mini-argument cos it was only mentioned in the ticker and i wanted to know more MORE and fil was irritated, dude i am alone by myself all day long of course i want to know more about this show a little concern too!

the walls are depressingly bare now so i came up with a solution.

you can see the curve of my pinky in my shadow.

then we watched fido and loved it, see it.

then it was time for reading in bed, something in the book made me cry so i decided to take some pictures, i know, deep stuff here kids.

uh oh a visitor.

also, what does a prowler look like? the villain from meet the robinsons all hunched over in a black coat tip-toeing? im fantasizing over jumping off the balconey onto his back and wrestling him into a pretzel and calling the police and then getting an award and having his leather jacket framed on the wall.

ooooooooooooooooooh! thanks rannie!

this is about right i dance like this yeah.

ooh i was just informed that i am also in the print copy of the eye weekly check page 6 go get yourself a hundred copies, finally, a reason to go outside today. update, it’s no big deal just a teaser to get you to go to the website to read the article, not even a link to my blog!

ps. mabel (maeble? maebel? mable?) if you’re reading email me i stupidly didn’t collect any of your contact info.

i think that home alarm system companies would make more money if they had a commercial where a dude stumbles in drunk singing a song at the top of his lungs at 2 in the morning and trips the alarm and the company calls the house and the lady goes oh yeah piet set it off by mistake AGAIN he is Dronk it is not emergency and then it shows piet trying to get his shoes off in the foyer one hand on the wall in the dark bent over then he falls into the umbrella stand – this commercial is way more effective because i bet that happens all the time, the one they have now is some lady all scared saying yes there’s been a break-in and the dispatcher is all it’s ok we are sending help right away (all concerned and he really cares) like come on how many break-ins are there? zero. also having an element of humour to commercials always works, it makes the ad memorable and then everyone imitates and references it. having a drunk idiot bust through the door and set off the alarm on his own house, funny, especially if the police show up and tackle him, but what i’m proposing in the commercial is the dispatcher on the fone chuckles along with karolina over good ole piet up to his old tricks again then cut to piet fallen asleep with the oven on cooking up some booze munchies meat & cheese on a slice of bread how many eastern european stereotypes can i fit into this blog post?

fil is saying he doesn’t get how it would be more effective cos the element of fear has been removed and replaced with humour and now we are in a fight.

yes i understand that fear is an important and often-used ploy in marketing, fil thinks above humour it is more effective for an alarm system commercial, i was just trying to make a joke and now we are in the middle of giving each other the silent treatment and drinking champagne.

i don’t want to get into the whole cnn fear tactics control the people bullshit cos that’s an obvious route, i just wanted to make a drunk joke GOD.

like the cops won’t ever show up to piet and karolina’s house cos they know piet is just drunk again at 2 in the morning. the end.