GUESS WHAT LADY (and guy) FRIENDS! i’m putting some new shit i don’t want no more up at raymistore right now, so far 4 new items. there will be 5 more on top of that by the time i’m finished today so keep checking back. the descriptions are worth reading at least.
DON’T mess with the dad outfit!
how long has it been since you’ve heard someone drop the Fbook speech, oh, 3 seconds? not from these lips though. when someone else brings it up i whip out my signature liner it’s good for spying on who got fat, is still fat, the uglies, the stupids, the knocked-up ones, the bald jocks… that’s my only advice, i know, ONLY? that’s THE advice! THE doesn’t even cover it, it’s SAGE advice, it’s like that asian guy in karate kid teaching you how to balance on a garbage can JUST FUCKING BELIEVE!
anyway, it’s time to make an example of someone!
this someone fil was in a grade 2/3 split class with back in the olden days, she in grade three, he in grade two. lets not mince words here people, she’s busted, then and now, has kids, is lame, plain, ordinary, this guy (me) can tapdance fire around her.
anyway, i applaud facebook’s attempt at etiquette in the acknowledging single status, taken, married whatever, it links you directly to the person’s partner you are spying on as we all know. this lady however, ignores this, somehow (despite inviting us to a BBQ this past summer we did not attend no thanks, more fantasy BBQ what could have been to come) and flirts with fil, a dude, ten thousand leagues out of her sea.
she types like this LOL *GIGGLE* tee hee just between you and me *giggle* you grew up to be a HOTTIE..lol giggle.
I KNOW!
just between you and me?
oh i wish we went to that BBQ now.
how disgustingly embarrassing for a grown woman WITH kids who is also MARRIED typing to some guy she knew from babyland the words GIGGLE and trying to be all secretive about it. barf.
i bet if we went to that bbq it would be a bunch of old bitches telling me shitty stories from grade 3 that have no significance on the present whatsoever, hey great coleslaw lisa, ps. SHUT UP! i like when i get to meet tons of chicks from fil’s past who act all territorial over him, one in part because i am younger so right off the bat this busted troll has to exert dominance, yawn, and second, because there is a *history* there that i was not a part of. hey lady how’s about being nice to me and joining the present and MAYBE i won’t shit-talk you on my blog for the rest of eternity?
i do not care about reading time and rice crispies and you don’t either, you’re clutching at i don’t know what, but it’s pathetic, and this embarrassing scenario wouldn’t even be happening if it weren’t for facebook, this isn’t some long lost reunion of THANK GOD WE WERE SEPARATED FOREVER! it was only inevitable an internet platform would come to seed for fraidy cats like you.
which brings me to another point, loads of kids i grew up with, went to school with are all in my face with WHAT’S THIS RAYMI WHO IS RAYMI??? in this little snickery tone of voice like the internet just began last week and i ran out and made up a funny new identity for myself.
people who “knew” you in the past, find you in the future, and expect you to be the exact same person as in the past, and scoff at this present version of you.
raymi, FYI, is what i’ve been working at since highschool, while you were busy getting bald, pregnant, married, working telecommunications.
in summation, fil’s facebook lady friends, when/if we meet, do not be rude to me, do not be passive aggressive either, you knew fil for like 4 seconds in the 80’s BIG DEAL, did it ever occur to you WHY he’s with ME and not someone from your class?
OUT!
should i make this a facebook note? hahahah
big mouth did a post on MG.org about the pre-show meet-up, have a read.
finally fil did some of his CiRCA pictures, do you know how long i have been bugging him for this guy!
peep gill’s jugs!
i didn’t know you could bring in couch cushions.
i am inventing martinis tonite with mandarin absolut
one will be with gingerale
and one with red tangerine fanta
and then orange gatorade
and then i will be walking through the park without pants, see you at 11.
wait for it
champions of nothing raymi makeup time video.
i’ll share my shitty pub story later, basically i can’t do math and all pub waitresses are gossipy hags, especially the 20-something ones. enjoy my premenstrual breasts.
kinda sorta fixed it i hope you like garbage art.
GUESS WHAT JOURNAL TIME!
this is my walking journal from england. it’s pretty uh, over the top, you’ll see who am i a fucking poet where are my cigars, where’s my tweed coat with the leather patches!?
this is the other side.
some of it was written before i left for england, there are loads of quote rip-offs, plenty of my own geniosity too it’s hard to determine what is what, that deleriously happy line is from meet joe black, haha. that flower used to be purple.
well at least i am prepared for the victory’s next spoken word.
in my later years in highschool during classes i was extremely anti-social, if people see you scrawling in a tiny notebook they leave you alone.
rufus wainwright sigh.
how to not get laid should be the title of my next book.
jeeeesus.
upside-down writing i meant business!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA this is KILLING me!
what a poseur i couldn’t even spell merlot right.
“the loo” take notes madonna, british slang doesn’t work.
oh this is when i made the biggest fucking mistake ever!
this entire thing is filled.
canada didn’t have sugar packets like this yet.
liane is my little asian friend who was in my exchange program, from toronto. for some reason she liked me.
after the program was over i stayed an extra two weeks with friends of the family.
i guess we can file this under the losers who read my blog who doubted i ever went to oxford category.
this is you.
right as harry potter broke, didn’t happen, i think i told some people it did. sorry dudes.
my room was the party room and thus there was graffiti all over the walls and i had to scrub it off before i left, i did 1/10 of it. burn.
high on E when i wrote this haha mom/dad you thought england kept me out of trouble!
almost finished don’t worry.
here’s the main one i kept, for the writer’s craft course we had to keep journals oh SO HARD throw a challenge at me will ya. i also had to keep a scrapbook.
Tony: fils gonna be so rich when you die
me: !
why would i die first
why cant i be rich now from this shit
Tony: you might be able to
but when you die – oh man
gravy train
as 2pac
me: sigh
fucking world!
Tony: yep
you could do the excellent fake yr own death thing
which would be impossible for you though cuz youd have to be quiet for a few years
me: yeah i could blog under an alias
wouldnt the money profits go to my family tho
another reason why fil should marry me
in other news OMFG!
sadness shawarma
after the first bite (which is the best cos they put a huge glob of creamy sauce at the tip) my sadness flooded away, most of it. good news friends! something annoying happened at the pub we went to last nite to watch the game, now i have something to blog about. brb!
haha it seems my sadness has infected the internet everyone is fucked right now, and, i think i’m pulling out of it too. sorry.
can people planning to join in on team blogslayer for oct. 26 and oct. 27 please leave comments or start talking to each other about it, leave suggestions, i propose for BEFORE matt’s massey hall gig oct. 26 we meet at mr. green jeans because it is a lame enough spot that it won’t be too slammed on a friday nite, it is v. close to massey hall as well. even if you aren’t going to the show you can still come and get my autograph, no hiding in the corner and staring at me like last year please. for the saturday, tony wants to hit the fox n fiddle for karaoke, i suggest maybe getting a private room (elsewhere) instead just to increase the mental retardation a tad, but i need to know how many people plan to come out that nite oct. 27 and if it is worthy of being stuck in a room with all of you, bonus side is you can be a mic hog and there are black lights and you can sneak in booze and they don’t care if you smoke so, everyone would have to pony up some dough for the room though, how responsible are you guys? …. i am officially stressed out about this, not as much as last year though, cos i was fatter. everyone vote, do you want lame free karaoke or cool $ karaoke?
