here is my futures bakery story and firstly this is what someone on toronto.com has to say about it:

A staple with the young, urban and artsy folk, Future Bakery is a popular destination with the university crowd. Boasting an always packed patio in the summer, Future’s provides a creative atmosphere for couples, friends and family to share coffee, breakfast, lunch, dinner or desserts.

to which i say a barf on your house!

now i am not going to be doing any apologizing about not “getting it” regarding futures, it is in no way a staple for this guy right here, call me crazy but i don’t see the “big deal” about the manic cafeteria-style atmosphere bursting at this haunt’s seams oh HOW FUN it’s just like a hospital cafeteria.

wrong, not fun.

and when you sit yourself on the patio everone around you is eating cheesecake?

isn’t that meant for alone my life is meaningless depression time?

fil and i rolled up a couple months ago and waited on the patio for ten minutes, so i go to the waitress hey can i grab a couple menus HINT HINT WE ARE ON THE PATIO SERVE US she like yeah yeahs half acknowledges me so i lean over and grab them myself, could have done it ten minutes ago but then we would be ignored with menus and i would have to get up again. so i quip in my i am really nice you like voice we are sitting right over there and even helped with pointing. so we are looking at menus and everything looks shitty we don’t want a fucking gateau (french for cake you yanks) to eat.

so we waited five more minutes and nothing happened except for eavesdropping on the lamest conversations ever with chicks mawing down spoonfuls of cake.

BARF?

BARF!

we left and ate at the victory instead and have never been back to futures and WILL NEVER go back.

it’s funny where it is situated dudes hang on the patio all day checking for babes walking by then they go home and write missed connections about them. if i was single and got a from futures bakery missed connection that would be a total red flag.