three o’clock yesterday

the russian futurists played a show on the drake patio, we got in before they started charging for the door, supposed to start at three, didn’t until after four so to kill time i drank three mojitos.

felt a bit obnoxious for sitting at the bar, so close, but needed shelter from the sun SO HOT yesterday my friends!

the tip to ordering mojitos is JUST DO IT don’t ask how much they cost cos once you’re on the second you are like i will BECOME a mojito i don’tz cares, ps. one wasn’t listed on the bill, score, it’s ok we are huge tippers. i still don’t know how much they were.

i kept sucking up mint so i’d have a mouthful of drink and one leaf caught in my throat and would gag and got goosebumps up and down my arms and back, almost spewed all over the bar which would have been a party.

what, hello? can i have extension: i am the most fucking important person in the world please? no i will not hold.

everyone blew it for missing out all zero friends of mine, that’s right, you know who you aren’t.

gettin’ a little bored here, fil and i have used up all of our stored conversations and began to pick skin flakes and hairs off each other’s faces.

number 2

yesterday was no shower day so i did the bangs upsweep rich fucking asshole girl thing that the hills and laguna beach has shamelessly destroyed for greasy scalp people like me, anyway, at least i look like a vampire all day do you know how much of a tool it feels like to take a photo of yourself in front of 40 drake poseurs sitting behind you in the hot sun watching your every move out of boredom? it feels like mojitos.

ANOTHER PICTURE OF THE BAR AND SUNGLASSES THAT EVERYONE WAS WEARING YESTERDAY!

socks! shoes! thighs! stool! floor! hair wisp! someone call OCAD now!

uh hero dude, your photo is a little misleading.

holy shit finally?

used to hang with glasses girl (left) she’s married to the whitest dude in the band i know they are ALL honkies, which one?

duder on the left, married to him.

third and final and free!

well this is attractive, i’m sad that elizabeth isn’t here, she is the one who got me to listen to this band in the first place. i just finished drunk-dialing her for the first time.

more like the russian sunglassesists. shut up i love this band.

it’s nice of the drake to provide its clientele with masturbation booths.

ah home again for an underwear night in and nachos.