some oldies

friends having fun, sigh. is there a rule in kensington market that you have to be a total dink to hang? these three weasels walked up to us as we were snapping pictures and one walked right in front of me, i was on the sidewalk, it was at nite, there was NO traffic in the road, WALK AROUND ME YOU SHIT! and they had an attitude about it as well, like, get out of my way world. dudes sometimes i, i just, i get SO steamed! are you with me?

you’re beautiful. (goulet voice)

hungsville on the subway to union to meet pitt, pre-coffee.

this family was near us, i could tell the mom was not vibin’ on my outfit.

seinfeld voice, what’s the deal with those horses? fil: they’re an art installation. raymi (bitch mocky voice): they’re an art installation.

i meant, why? why horses, and, four of them? whatever union.

nice beret OU EST LA TOILETTE?

check the lady behind us in total love with eating.

uh, buddy, your boner is showing.

DEAR KID IN THE BASKETBALL JERSEY DRESS, BLACK SPLASH PANTS AND CONSTRUCTION BOOTS ON THE HOTTEST MOST SUNNIEST DAY EVER: WRONG.

don’t ask cos i don’t understand.

then we went to smokeless joe’s to meet fil’s sister and bf, we couldn’t think of anywhere else, i know, shut up. we will not be eating there again, brews only.

well actually, if i had more money i would have oysters there, 2.50 per. i get that the price is high cos of the labour involved in shucking those guys open but it doesn’t change the fact that you are dining on something that is essentially just tasteless snot that you have to cover in hot horseraddish sauce. not to mention that every fucking retard says THEY ARE AN APHPRODISIAC but when pressed have no fucking clue why. dear rich people, deeming something a panty-remover does not make it so.

then to the riv to see radmad. she got drunk as hell and then biked a 75k marathon the next day. mental. i am still thinking about the roti from the riv. oh also everyone who works upstairs there is a jerk, don’t get it. they put CC in the crown royal bottles too. winners.

then the ‘shoe to see jim bryson.

he’s pretty endearing, did i say that already? his friends/groupies were not feeling the raymi, like fuck off i am talking to him for two minutes, hold tight hags i’m not going to marry him.

then on our way out i see this chick and went over and yelled nice dress into her face and then pointed at my chest then after this picture i tucked in the flap on her chest and said i know, that happens.

then we walked home and had to urinate so badly finally did it beside some construction shit and a building and this dude walked by me totally on purpose and it sent me into a rage i tried to find him after. oh and i got piss on my leg.

giles, of the vibrants. i don’t know if that means anything. i told him his name was pretentious i think i hurt his feelings. i meant it in a good way.

merkley???: why doesnt vice write you back?

me: i dunno i wrotr to the guy he never wrote back
ther ei just wrote

merkley???: what is ei?
oj
there – 1
i
wow lots of typos with few letters
impressive ratio

me: ei
employment insurance?
oh
you are making fun of me
HEY YOU TRY HAVING LONG NAILS

merkley???: you try having a brain!

me: i dont have time for words
i mentioned you last nite

merkley???: how so?

me: ha that made you respond

merkley???: yeah it’s hard to get a response outta me

me: i was in the middle of bragging about myself and all my amazing attributes and then i brought you up in the most passive of ways, it was like straight out of our coolness rules guide, like i was tossing a package of chips in slow motion to some guy without even looking

merkley???: ha ha
that was one of the best rules
did they really throw a party for you?

me: NO
haha

merkley???: you got me

me: but anyway i was talking about the thing i am writing for vice and i said oh and i might be interviewing merkley, you know merkley?
and the guy goes yeah well dont you already DO that?
i said yeah

merkley???: ha ha

me: i was really cunty last nite
like ON cunty
and i could tell to one guy it was going way over his head
so i had to dumb it down a bit
i hate that

merkley???: yeah that sucks

me: it works better on younger dudes
it makes me sad when the oldies dont get it
thats funny you believed all those people were at that party for me
HAHAHAHAHA
anyway this one guy, it was built up that he had a good voice and i was told mine is also amazing so he walks over unsuspecting that i have pre-conceived notions
people should NEVER inform me of stuff
EVER
the end

merkley???: well its not unbeleiveable that you could have a big party

me: we were driven there in a gibson tour bus
and got booze
there were guitars on the walls and people were playing them
i secretly wished someone would do stairway
they didnt

last nite nxne threw an opening party for me at palais royale it was so nice of them, all the semi-famous people i love to kiss ass with were there thanks guys!

here is some evidence:

that’s stephen, his interests are TELLING THE SAME STORY EVERYTIME WE SEE HIM, PRETENDING HE IS SIXTEEN BY WAY OF WEARING LITTLE HOODIES, ARROGANCE. woah check out my eyes. next. oh yeah who wants to win some travis tickets?

wendi gave me that, you should get it too. i am listening to it now. it took me 5 minutes to open it, well more like ten, i was reading my comments and email and thinking of bitchy responses to everything while half-heartedly working on the cellophane not really paying attention or trying until the last minute i looked down at my hands and got so beyond fucking infuriated i raged to the kitchen and knifed it open. this just in, long nails are bogus. remind me to write about having to learn how to pick my nose all over again.

that’s liam titcomb nice name BURN (liamtitcomb.com) anyway he is 19 and i pointed that out a ton of times and did the ENJOY YOUR YOUTH WHILE IT LASTS speech until he got irritated and left but then came back for more then left then wanted more, i’m mostly a fucking bitch to people in a what i think is a jokey way, half the time it goes over well and the person has a raging boner for me then they don’t leave. liam and wendi believe in horoscopes. ‘NOUGH SAID.

checking on the girls.

look it’s a hand sandwich! ew that sounds so barf. mine is in the middle of dan’s mighty paws.

see? loves me.

ok more later.

++++

“i have something to say, you are all annoying assholes.”

Raymi,

I’m not a professional blogger or responder or anything. I don’t know what I’m doing when I respond, I’m just responding. I’m sure it’s obvious to you because my responses are so insipid and long: I apologize for that. The truth is that I don’t really know how long they should be or what they should be. I notice you giving me advice and brief constructive criticism (thanks): it’s helpful. I just don’t want to be a db either and I certainly don’t want to be an annoying asshole. I was thinking of just not responding at all anymore because I don’t really feel like developing a teflon veneer outside of work to match the one I have to wear there all the time. I could make candy-assed lame-O responses that won’t get anyone going, but I already hate the ones I read that are like that. However, with those, I’d be safely innocuous and irrelevant rather than innocuous and irrelevant with a giant bullseye on my petite-fleur ass. I’m just not sure what anything is about anymore.

I’ve been working on a novel for three years now. Before I start writing, I like to read news and do a crossword puzzle or sudoku. I happened upon Phil’s site because I was googling something, I noted that he looked a bit like my b/f and then found a link your blog. Besides thinking immediately that it was awesome, the other first things I noticed were: douche, bi bim bop, your hatred of hippies and mac’n’cheese – all things dear to my heart. I also take pictures of food before I eat it – especially if I make it. Now, I’ve been responding: for better or worse. My day-job is a PM for IT software dev. in SW Michigan. It sucks; but it pays the bills, and I’m good at it. I love Canada only because I could get married there: here in the US, I’m still dog-shit, evidently.

You prolly get this type of shit all the time in your email, so I’ll say bye for now.

Thanks,
H

i love getting this shit especially when i have the time to read and enjoy it like i just did dont not comment for the wrong reasons henry i like what you have to say

thanks buddy!!

another fine day in the blogosphere

Hi Raymi -

Cannot believe I wrote blogosphere. Anyhow, it seemed appropriate since I just wanted to to drop you a line saying I commiserate with you over dealing with the nasty comment folks. Your response seems right on to me.

I have always appreciate the comparison of a blog/website/forum etc… to being like an open house party. Everyone is invited but if you act like a jerk, insult the host, her friends – you get kicked out (in this case comment deleted). I suffer from foot in mouth disease, but I am never cruel or judgmental on someone’s blog. It is their space and I am just a visitor.

So thanks for doing what you do and saying what you said.

Seska

+++

this guy is amazing.

i have something to say, you are all annoying assholes.

when i post pictures of my friend/s do you think you have some sort of ownership or authority on leaving your opinions regarding their appearance? take my friend elizabeth for example, last summer i posted pictures of her hairy beav, then everyone AND my mother chipped in their two cents, regarding waxing, plucking, trimming, whatever.

a couple weeks ago i put up some pictures of elizabeth and in some her arms look a bit furry, and a lot of you made comments about that too, to which i deleted the majority of them.

first of all, pointing out obvious shit is lame of you. secondly, her arms IRL look fine, it was the flash of the camera that made the hair stand out, and, also, SO WHAT.

do you think making comments about someone’s arm hair is appropriate and necessary? like fuck, some of you are ugly and fat and old, and so are your friends, do i leave comments on your blogs about that?

i like elizabeth just the way she is, i wouldn’t change a fucking thing, so next time, keep your bullshit to yourselves. the thing most annoying about it all was the naive arrogance, you commented like it was in her better interest to heed your fucking advice. WRONG. don’t fuck up again.

here is elizabeth’s response

woah never saw the hairy arm thing but feel as if I have to respond
in grade four this guy who had a total boner for me (since like kindergarten) starting calling me “hairball” in fact I believe it was “you look like ren and stimpy’s hairball”
it was 1994 and a huge fucking blow to my ego and I really haven’t gotten over it even thirteen years later so sheckie why don’t you take off your grape jelly stained metallica t shirt and make your obese mother wash it you fucking pig
that is if she isn’t too busy cooking with butter and wearing mumus a la gilbert grape!
elizabeth |

here are some of MY concert pictures a day late, i got priorites guys, like, pictures of me wearing high socks to deal with first.

datarock <3

bus driver

css

we went to new generation, didn’t do the grill-thing though.

it’s pretty nice in there.

these guys were like eating alien embryos, i was kinda into them, but mostly not oh shit i should’ve done the achoo haha look at this gob of snot joke.

the clear soup smelled really bad, like BO and farts. it made me sad.

last nite was sober nite.

pretty stoked about it.

the A/C vent was blasting on my face and head so i had to wear my hat, i felt like a bitchy round-eye when i asked for it to be turned down. seriously, who requests that? whatever, yesterday was balls-cold.

you can tell i am not a fan cos there is still food in my bowl.

i got the chicken bibm bahb, dude partied through it before i could take a picture of it in-tact. oh yeah he asked fil if he was hot from the food and said his face was all red. haha.

fil got the beef. it’s a decent price for the amount of food you get plus apps. though no brocolli or a substantial amount of vegetables. i hold the torch for ho-su cos they do brown rice and loads of vegetables. you’d think the farty annex would catch on about this.

lots of food, had to get a doggy bag.

see? cheap, like your mother.

use tonges for all the raw items?

mmmm, check out the hot dogs sausage.

and here are some drunk pictures of the outside taken from across the street, the nite before. sad.

fil wore his WHY DIDN’T YOU CALL ME!??! BLEEEARGH!!!! t-shirt.

whoops.

i have seen something like this before, it might even be the same one who knows, regardless, it is still pretty dope.

also, there is this.

you can see fil’s face, hair, eyebrow, peeping on me in the doorway.

see, now he’s gone.

i kind of look like a praying mantis no?

i was trying to capture the beauty of my ass to inner-thigh party.

oh there it is.

oh i forgot to mention that paige was out last nite that little scamp is stalking me.

and look what her friend did to some poor sod:

HERE are my videos, you are a fucking moron if you do not watch them.

datarock, first two songs, swoon

datarock, some jumping song

css, before the unitard is revealed

css, unitard revealed