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i just tried on all my bathingsuits and i am wearing the one i’ve had longest right now i am trying to get fil to drive us to a beach he says he doesn’t lie on beaches oh this is good to know almost three years into our relationship excuse me buddy i didn’t spend the last 3 or so months practising fucked up eating strategies and starvation tactics to lose 20lbs to NOT hang out in front of strangers all day in a tiny bikini.
HAHAHAHHAHAHHHA
there are infinity mindblowing pictures on my and fil‘s flickr i am too obese to blog them right now.
**BEST COMMENT THREAD STREAM**
Marketable Depression arrived yesterday morning. I read it in the evening. And I was amazed.
Thank you.
Inchy the caterpillar made me laugh aloud.
And if ever cried you would have had me at page 3. But I don’t. Oh, no, certainly not.
If I can find a more loquacious way of expressing myself … I’ll get back to you.
Thanks,
Stephen.
best thing all week.
the lighthouse guy was murdered here in the 1800s ask fil.
we are in a maze here and i am scared.
this guy rules.
testing the LEDs.
there you go you lazy dicks it will feel like you are going through a maze instead of sitting in front of your computers touching your balls all day long.
LED testing, most embarrassing narration evs.
we went to the island and i bought those redbull-sized cans of wine so the whole walking part wasn’t so boring i have a bullshit attention span like oh i’m still walking? my thighs are sore we walked almost the whole island despite fil saying no we didn’t fuck fil he thinks he knows everything. like this morning he rubs my leg and i tell him to stop he will rub off my tan and he tries to give me the what-for about how that isn’t possible WELL FIL YOU OBVIOUSLY NEVER HAD A FUCKING TAN BEFORE! after sitting in the tub for only a half hour if i rub my leg all this skin comes off. oh i think i got something from the tanning bed shut up don’t tell me i told you so, it’s a tiny red splotch on my stomache YES i laid down on my stomache i am going to the dermatologist next week anyway i have a thing growing on my shoulder that is probably cancer and now i have an std on my stomache for the dermatologist to party with whatever my body looks awesome i can handle anything as long as it’s not on my vagina. my mom thinks it might be a fungus maybe i’ll take a photo of it so you can all give me your freak me out diagnoses like when i mentioned my wisdom tooth dilemma remember how awesome that was yeah that was awesome.
anyway hi happy friday.
hey way to go you fucking penis.
oh jeez another winner.
leather jacket (way too hot for a leather jacket), hawaiian shorts, flaming yellow crocs, everyone’s on the scene tonite.
TIME FOR SOME MEMORY LANE!
here i am in my i am an anime character phase, if you are ever curious as to how many times you will get laid with short hair versus long hair, please refer to this photograph. i believe i am 18 years old.
here i am wasted off my face in the uk age 17 going down the stairs on a roll of carpet, we were partying with some jersey boys, go figure. my parents sent me to england to stay out of trouble, sigh, parents. that was the nite i discovered malibu rum and coke equaled delicious.
taking it down a notch, here we have my brother and i partying in my grandparent’s backyard and look how psyched i am i look like a chinese boy.
here i am with rn, i am in grade ten and still loyal to my first boyfriend, but it’s super close to going to shit, he didn’t know that though. i loved those jeans so hard, levi stretch denim, i got em in black too, i wore them so much the inner thighs chafed away to nothing, they were so tight. those dyke shoes were from le chateau.
my grandpa and three amazing haircuts.
i call this one jailbait with bruce springstein look-a-like performer, he was hitting on me hard, dropping hints, i didn’t get it, my mom did though. i dumped my boyfriend a week after this bender weekend with my mom. yep, nice one dina lohan mom. i am three weeks from turning 16. that amazing creation of a shirt is from le chateau, bought it that afternoon and we met that rockstar supernova douchebag whatever his name is there’s a picture somewhere on my blog.
my dad is holding leaf tickets i am kinda miffed cos there wasn’t anything for me and my brother is hogging the smarties, fucker.
that balloon had crepe paper legs and we fought over it like mental cos we had to hold out for presents time, it got violent. the thing around my neck is from this thundercats rip-off stuffed animal i got from santa, some lion thing i wish i remember what it was called. my mom braided my hair the nite before i guess we were too poor for a crimper?
i wanted some tea-set privacy bad so i went to the den and poked myself in the eye then cried for a while and the rest of the family pictures from that day my eye is bloodshot wow the shit i remember.
oh look, more smarties he wants my attention and i am being all passive-aggressive, he is likely thinking of something mean to say about my drawing.
my room in oxford, i went on furniture/art-stealing heists at nite cos my room was huge and empty then it became the party room and everyone wrote on the walls, i have a super long irritating story remind me to tell about my first day in london it will make you want to kill someone.
me and grandma i don’t know what i am showing off you can see part of my brother’s gigantic cranium i try really hard to give him a complex about it.
also from the same bender with my mom weekend, the caption i wrote on the back of this is elevator. proof that everything is infinite + finite. HAHAHAHHAHAHHA.
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there’s a missing clip where i am making an oh brother face it’s a close-up.
no one likes me cos no one is commenting on my blog i sound like my mother but anyway it’s true unless it is one person reading my blog 2000 times a day you are all fucking selfish dicks. bye.
nxne photos i am a lazy ass – lee’s palace, last thursday
chicks on the right i know from gradeschool and highschool, the darkhair just got married and the other is engaged. everyone is either married, engaged, or has kids what is this the eighties? i am not surprised really, not to toot my own horn or anything but, i always felt the cool ones don’t marry until they absolutely must and the other ones can’t figure out anything else to do with their lives. sorry. no wait i meant it’s the love, the love!
anyway the one on the right i was more tight with, i said her name outside and before she even turned around she yelled SHUT UP. i have a very distinct and memorable voice. she’s a nurse and her fiance is a cop. weird!
guess who they were there to see?
blue rodeo. who didn’t go on ’til 3am GIRLS NITE OUT!
i was into that guy on the left he would be sitting on the side stairs smiling and then casually get up with a tambourine or some shakers do his thing then sit down for a bit then get up again and join the band.
see?
just throwin’ that one in there again in case you forgot.
if you want to see a totally unflattering picture of the girls i bumped into click here yes i am a dickhead and i will take it down once found out so enjoy full-on fluke blinking shot.
*you are yet again all ungrateful no one thanked me for that. sigh.
last nite watching cntm was stressful and after it was over i was like i am going to turn off my phone, but i didn’t, and no one called anyway. it’s not like we were ON the runway or anything you see my face several times, i’m glad and not glad that they didn’t include the stupid fat faces i made, maybe that’s why we weren’t in as much, i know i elbowed fil a couple times too. anyway thank fuck it’s over now we wait for youtube to stream it. sigh.
i’m putting these up to stop myself from watching more of last week’s cntm on youtube fil hurry and get home.
i told my whole family to watch me on tv tonite, no too busy, will you tape it? uh? NO. try at least pretending to care first. i just called to remind you to watch for me on tv and you tell me to tape it for you? that’s YOUR job i already did my part not to mention went on television for you to watch! i didn’t tell my mom though i figure she would ask me to tape it so i’m saving myself the annoyance. gonna file it under THE FAMILY DOESN’T CARE. what else is new.
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dear world
i have not seen one episode of (in no particular order):
GREY’S ANATOMY
LOST
SOPRANOS
WEEDS
and i don’t plan on it SO STOP AKSING ME!
love raymi
ps. GO FOR A BIKERIDE.
pps. burn.
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