did i use this picture on my blog already i forget

ok i am drinking espresso and we are cool with one another, phew. if i had to cut out caffeine entirely then i would have to cut out booze, and i am not ready to do that yet. cut down, yes, out, no. in the mornings pre-espresso i do not think i can even be considered as alive, nowhere even close to functioning. i need to do one of those cleanse things but i would need to be on an island away from every single fucking temptation that there is i have zero will power and all you have to do is say a word like hamburger and i will obsess about it until i eat one. i have not had an actual hamburger in a long time, i’ve been successful in that department at least, i have not stopped thinking about hamburgers though, not so successful when it comes to that. it’s basically, booze or hamburgers, unfortunately hamburgers do not make me feel witty at all like booze can, booze wins.

this is me before eating a hamburger:

i am going to eat a hamburger

this is me after eating a hamburger:

i want to fucking kill myself

this is me before booze:

i want to fucking kill myself

this is me after booze:

isn’t it weird how as humans we live amongst the dead i mean we keep our dead close by in cemetaries and we visit them? humans are fucked yo!

i’m not wasted right now so i cannot provide an accurate this is me drunk anecdote i will in the future drunk post for you, maybe i can do a once a month drunk post and you have to figure out which post it was, i’ll link to five different posts and you have to figure it out. fun right?

on another note we watched the good shepherd last nite and it is the longest movie ever and a lot of things happen and it is hard to follow and a lot of whisper talk scenes which beyond infuriate me and (stop reading now i am going to spoil something) there is a part where someone is tossed out of a plane and it was really scary. **ok start reading again** angelina jolie was ok i guess but it was hard to disassociate her character from her in real life like RIGHT NOW SHE IS THINKING ABOUT ADOPTING AN ENTIRE SMALL COUNTRY BECAUSE SHE IS THE NEXT MIA FARROW and has something to prove but what that is is unknown. i have to go re-read jamie‘s review of it i remember he said it was super long and annoying but angelina is sketched-out in a couple scenes and it is cool so everytime we see angelina i kept saying THIS IS THE PART WHERE SHE IS A JUNKY but she wasn’t a junky and in hindsight jamie said she was drunk not sketchy so i am an idiot. i can’t believe jamie saw it in a movie theatre i would have lost my mind sitting down for that long sober in the dark holy annoying.

if matt damon does one more conspiracy movie where he is wearing glasses i am going write to his mother and complain.

the moral of the movie is TRUST there now you don’t have to watch it cos i did that for you. it is about the beginning of the CIA. there is no wang or tits in it but it is rated R, there are sex scenes but sneaky covered up flesh who the fuck walks to the bathroom with an entire bedsheet if i did that fil would fucking explode on me. well he wouldn’t explode but once he caught on to me pulling up the bedsheets we would get into one of those covers tug-of-war fights which would be totally ridiculous to see in a movie after the leading character boned some girl and was laying in bed all post-coital then turns zero to rage on her.

despite all of this it is still a good movie to see if you don’t have ADD and have over two hours of time to kill.