me and sophie i love her

i was a total crabby sucky bitch today at loblaws i almost had a cry tantrum faint attack fil woke me up too early.

whoever mailed me money stuffed “discretely” in an envelope for my crazy apron dress please email me i forget who you are i need to know if you actually mailed it someone is stealing shit from the mail – fil’s diner’s club card never arrived, sparklehorse tickets and now TWO things for me from separate people in the same week if my dick cheney gun club t-shirt doesn’t arrive i am going to fuck someone up.

haha diner’s club who are you fil, steve martin in plains, trains, and automobiles?

fil got a new camera and the fights have already begun. he got a canon eos 30D which means it is an slr which means he thinks he is better than me now he says that whoever takes the photograph has more rights to the photo that’s fine but what about the subject’s rights? i mean i as the subject made the photo happen i posed for it i looked at the photos to see what was working for me pose-wise and what was not then made adjustments accordingly, i feel like this means the photo is AT LEAST equally mine and he cannot be a fucking hog about it, we have argued over this shit since the beginning of time actually i have argued about it with ex-boyfriends too they want photo credit ok fine but then they want the photo exclusively too? eh fuck you fags how about that photo would not exist if not for me you are replaceable, dispensible ok, i can find anyone with hands and get them to take my picture. i am only arguing for equal rights here. if i change outfits, pose a bunch, choose where to pose how to pose all of that then that photo is mine too and you should email it to me immediately or i will break up with you.

fil tried to wear a hat yesterday to the ROM a baseball hat and BACKWARDS like he was peter parker i said NO WAY DUDE I CANNOT HANDLE YOU IN A BACKWARDS HAT I CANNOT BE AROUND YOU AND YOUR HAT. so he didn’t wear it. phew.

anyway i am really pretty. how long until people start copying my jumping poses i copied from antm? speaking of, do you like that russian chick in the first episode when she said THESE GIRLS DON’T BELONG HERE THEY ARE ALL MAS-KEW-LIN meanwhile she is basically a mail-order bride and NOT american on a show called AMERICA’S next top model?

fil has a flickr now you can stalk more of our life over there.

we got a sneak-peek at the new ancient peru exhibit at the ROM yesterday it was a media event FOR BLOGGERS and it was amazing this ex globe&mail dude gave a little talk about the future and technology and our generation and i actually paid attention and felt inspired. they had a little pre-party for us on the fourth floor, wine and fancy snacks go blogs. i said the word ADVANTAGEOUS a lot yesterday as in IT IS VERY ADVANTAGEOUS THAT YOU INVITED BLOGGERS TO COME SEE THIS ALONG WITH THE MEDIA.

i totally have some catty things to say about a couple other bloggers but i think i will hold back the bullshit for once in my life.

museums are awesome for people watching and photographs of them if you time it right you can take a hundred photos of the same family and they will think you are just taking pictures of oh right that thousand year old clay pot and then they look at you to make sure you really are taking pictures of the works and you fool them by looking super into your camera and fucking with macro keeping your hands still and eyeing the lcd screen and then they feel a little guilty and selfish and embarrassed for suspecting you in their head like why on earth would this girl come to a sneak-peek exhibit at a museum to take a picture of me? BECAUSE IT’S FOR MY BLOG THAT’S WHY AND YOU LOOK LIKE A TROLL!

the kid area is excellent i was this close to playing with some bones and sand and putting on goggles but i peeped this kid who was all i am too old for this you know when you turn eleven and you are cooler than shit – i felt bad for his sister cos she could totally hang but second-thought it once her brother faked boredom like that but then sarah showed up and i couldn’t be hero of the peruvian kid area and be all adam sandler in billy madison i fully gave that kid cut-eye when i left the kid section over my shoulder, no i didn’t.

yes i did.

the crazy thing about the exhibit is all the shit in this tomb was only discovered in 1991 but they couldn’t get at it cos of water or something also a lot of stuff had been looted as was common back then so some of the artifacts are missing pieces and have this mysterious essence and quality yes i am making fun of myself right now.

this is what the land looked like after all those looters went through it. dicks.

it’s open to the public now go check it out nerds!

i finished reading the road even if you plan on reading it you can still read my opinions about it i do try pretty hard to ruin things for everybody i don’t like to be the only one down at my level though i doubt my stupid opinions of this magically scary book will matter much i tend to focus on the smaller things rather the bigger obvious picture as i react to every other thing in my life. the road is cryptic and vague and the first several pages you do not know what is going on at all i don’t know if the hardcover is meant to have a jacket or if lise kept it cos she thinks i am a slob and will get ketchup on it or red wine yeah i probably would so anyway without a jacket i had no brief synopsis of the book to consult every few pages like a key i always have to have a synopsis even if it is a three line paragraph like halfway through the book the synopsis will hold my hand OH RIGHT HE HAS BLOND HAIR ok maybe you should stop reading my opinions as clearly i do not know what they are.

so this dad and son are travelling the land and it is all charred and burned away and ash is everywhere and they are survivors of some whatever happened to the earth and they have a shopping cart full of their belongings if you were to read this in school and do a book report on it i advise that you mention the shopping cart as it is SYMBOLISM for SURVIVAL or maybe HOPE wussy shit like that you could even get more wuss and say it is like a third character in the story holy fuck i would give you an F based on how pansy that is, though, secretly think you are smart.

um.

you could also say the pistol they carry is symbolic why i don’t know or care cos everytime it is mentioned i get scared because that means something dangerous is happening or about to happen.

there are other people they come across and they are known as BAD GUYS cos they are cannibals. the dad and son are travelling south to the coast where it is suppose to be better, but it isn’t. this book is pretty fucking depressing there are maybe two parts that aren’t and they are very short parts. you will probably cry at a certain point. i would like to know how fucking old the son is suppose to be he could be five or 8 or 4 whatever.

it is a terrific read and i love how it is written. A+.

last nite i watched parts of madonna’s confessions tour and holy crap it is going to change my life i decided i am going to have a dancer’s body again and i am going to achieve this without walking into a gym. the very fucking second it is warm i am longboarding again this is the year of longboarding for me. i turned into a tanned skeleton two summer’s back all i did was longboard get wasted at a bar longboard home everyday. i need to start scouting out good longboard-stashing bushes for when i go boozing too bad it is like trying to hide a surfboard what is a million colours and totally stands out. yes you are not suppose to talk about being skinny until you get skinny but whatever i already lost ten lbs so i have already started most importantly for REAL in my head something snapped i don’t pig out anymore or drink beer or eat garbage. this blog needs to be about me more.

i did all this work on katamari last nite (hah WORK) i collected about 5000 roses and fil turned it off without saving my progress. nice going. i was at 136,000 roses and i have to get a million do you know how fucking long that takes! fil destroyed a half hour’s work wow i am a fucking loser for talking about this except the nerds of you reading this you are all uh huhuhuhuh fully bonering it. i am going to google katamari pictures so we can enjoy them together on this fine friday on the good earth it is the energy drink talking now i have no control.

look a katamari cake!

AND they made a firefox cake too

THIS IS WHAT IT WAS LIKE FOR ANDREA TO GIVE BIRTH TO HER SON IT IS FUNNY

this is how i am helped into bed my jacket thrown over my head then tripped and pushed over the side of the couch. i am bored i want to go back to sleep.

I LOVE PILGRIM GIN SLUTS