pan’s labyrinth was sold out so we saw the number 23 instead. so it’s playing in one of those bigger theatres and it’s pretty empty and we are sitting closer to the front far away from everyone there are a million empty seats all around us and then this couple comes and SITS RIGHT BEHIND US AND THE GIRL IMMEDIATELY STARTS KICKING MY SEAT THE FUCKING HOUSELIGHTS ARE STILL ON AND ALREADY I WANT TO KILL HER. also the dude is talking super loud and smarmy, the only kind of smarmy you can tolerate if you are a part of the actual conversation but if you are forced to listen to it and not participate then you want to take the hair that grows near their ears and pull up (most painful) until it comes out in your hands.

so i go to fil lets move do you want to move do you really want to hear me sigh profusely throughout this entire movie? so he gets up gets his shit and leaves and i am collecting my hat mitts scarf purse jacket magazine and the magazine falls loudly to the floor and the couple are kind of like oh what’s going on? then the dude says I GUESS THE VOLUME AND CONTENT OF OUR CONVERSATION WAS OFFENSIVE to which i don’t say anything then i am grabbing my jacket and the guy repeats his little observation I GUESS THE VOLUME AND CONTENT OF OUR CONVERSATION WAS OFFENSIVE and then i looked him in the face and said NO YOU WERE KICKING OUR SEATS!! and they both got scared and felt ashamed and my whole i am angry aura was outshined by the belt on my jacket snagging on the armrest between the seats so i had to walk back over to them and their scared silence.

i also wanted to say of all the fucking places to sit and have your loud boring “controversial” conversation you had to sit right behind me WHY? why does the world hate me so much? ps. your conversation was lame if you want to have a controversy contest dude pick a place and time that ISN’T in a fucking movie theatre.

everytime we go to a movie while i am waiting for it to begin i take note of all the people who are getting on my nerves and think ok just enjoy sitting here cos it is the last time you will ever go to a movie theatre cos you are an angry fucking lunatic and then we always go back and then i think all over again this is the LAST TIME.

ok so the movie was good for ten minutes then sucked huge for 50 minutes the whole reading of the book part jim carey being like THIS BOOK THIS BOOK 23 23 23 BLA BLA BLAAAA it was like some cheesy sin city crap so then he’s finished it finally and then it gets good like msytery whodunnit? the good part lasts ten minutes maybe fifteen then it sucks huge until the end not lying. i asked fil a few times if we could leave. basically everything equals 23 – that lampost’s light flickers 20 times and then it hummed three times OOH THAT FUCKING MEANS SOMETHING RUN AWAY!

basically this movie is about me when i was manic crazy just before i went on lithium – writing on walls searching for patterns and connections and coincidences YOUR NAME IS TOM AND YOUR SHIRT IS YELLOW AND YOUR TIE IS BROWN and i turn that into something that is essentially NOTHING. fuck, crazy people are annoying and so is this movie.

you will hate jim carey’s wife, basically, the way the family reacts to his crazy is completely ridiculous, unethical, and the total opposite of REALITY. when the truth comes out about his past and how crazy he is she is all oh i love you and you love me you won’t hurt me even when he has a knife to her throat.

on our way home we pretended we were jim carey and looked for 23s then we saw a cop car and their new decal design and i said do they sell ice creams and popsicles too holy shitty tacky not at all scary and authoritative!