went to bar mercurio to eat it is my favourite place there are only like ten things on the menu the carpaccio and cajun calamari are amazing.

took us two minutes to go through them though

i had this ridiculous cesar salad and had to use my knife to cut the romain lettuce in order to fit it in my mouth, it’s so not drenched in dressing, it’s pretty healthy and just right portion-wise so you don’t feel like a heffer. fil had gnocci dumplings.

we went here for our 2nd anniversary, everyone is very friendly and not fake friendly either, shocking how unpretentious it is. i was probably the only pretentious person.

then we went home and watched the grudge 2 and while the dialogue and storyline is sloppy and over the top it is still very scary, i spent the entire time gripping my crown/ginger in different directions i thought i would split the glass into pieces THAT SCARY!

then i went out for a smoke and witnessed part of a sorority initiation here’s video of it ooh how sacred!

sorority nerds

initiation second part

what goes around comes around

i am probably the last person to have seen this video in the world anyway i just wanted you to know that i want to BE scarlett johansson now so i am going to quit writing and be an actress i am tired of NOT being scarlett johansson so i am going to make that happen.

interview teaser

Me: You’ve caught a lot of criticism for appearing nude on your blog. Do the naysayers ever get to you?

Raymi: No, but their nagging is annoying. I’m not spread eagled or anything you know some of it is “artistic” not smutty. Do they go to erotica websites and say YOU ARE ONLY POPULAR BECAUSE YOU ARE NUDE. (It’s) pathetic. It’s only a small part of my blog The skinnier I get the more I will put up so they should get used to it or go away.

My blog is a celebration of myself. As cheesy as that is it is the truth. Should I wear a pillow case and cover up? No. Should I feel hated for (appearing nude)? no. I think it’s very telling of people’s character when they freak out about nudity in general. It’s not a big deal. If I like how I look then I take a picture of it, cause beauty and youth doesn’t last forever.

Me: What do you think it says about the people who freak out.

Raymi: I don’t want to say (they’re) jealous cause that’s a total cliché response. But it does hold a lot of bearing (But) it’s more than jealousy, I think.

Me: Like what?

Raymi: A blog can be very personal and when you read it you feel like that person is talking to you. People have told me that they feel like I am their friend cause I have a personal spin to some of my writing. I make it seem like I am talking to you privately so if I’m doing that as well as being naked the person might feel like it is too much

If a girl shows her naked body it’s cause she wants attention and some people narrow in on that and get offended like HOW DARE SHE ASK FOR ATTENTION. And if they aren’t comfortable showing their own bodies they can’t handle you doing it.

So they take it as a personal affront. I dunno people are weird. And a lot of them are anonymous too.

+++

happy valentine’s day in case you didn’t see it the first time here is a video of me dancing naked on a bed.

everytime pitt screamed something dude on the left shook his head in disappointment he also said he had season tickets and HE wasn’t rich and pitt says YOU LOOK RICH TO ME. i couldn’t decide whether the girl beside him was his sister, daughter, or girlfriend. canadian tuxedo on the other hand, straight up ruled.

me as kelly ripa

last nite at the game i was holding my furry hat in my hands waiting for pitt and fil to tinkle and these two drunk euro gino types come up to me and one says HEY I THOUGHT THAT WAS A CHIHUAHUA (um what kind of chihuahua one that is wearing a huge fur jacket?) and laughed and i laughed too instead of being a bitch and they are walking away and then i heard the other guy say HEY MAN GO GET HER PHONE NUMBER. ahahah.

that was funnier than the time fil and i were sitting outside the skydome waiting for pitt and these three kids pointed at me and screamed HEY IT’S AVRIL LAVIGNE!! and i busted up laughing and they were shocked i took it so well.

oh yeah pitt and i were on the jumbotron TWICE last nite finally after like 20 games IT HAPPENED and i had a triple chin too.

Hey Raymi

Nate

hey dad glad you could make it out!

pfft.

this dude was all hey i want to get on tv tonite and i said oh i’ll put this on my blog a ton of people will see it and he goes OH ARE YOU ON MYSPACE ahha.

that book is very sexist.

yesterday was sundin’s birthday

this morning when i got up to pee a second time and put in a tampon fil said hey didn’t you just put in a new tampon before i got in the shower i said no and then i asked if he was jealous that i had a period he said no i said yeah right i bet you would have a flow chart of your cycle and all that other garbage and he said yeah if i was a girl i would SO monitor my cycle and freak ouf if it were a day late and then that would make it even later and so on.

man i’m glad fil isn’t a girl he would be THE MOST ANNOYING GIRL i said that i would NOT be his friend and i would hate him he asked why and i forget what i said but i’m sure it was funny. i think he would be bitchy and whiny and pretentious OH i know i said he would be a big phony, funny he can get away with it when he’s a dude but if he was a girl nope sorry.

fil got me a matching diamond pin because he has to copy everything i do i swear he is like my shadow that is 6’3 and has beard i love you dinky

party

AND NOW FOR SOME VALENTINE’S DAY FANMAIL:

Raymi,

You don’t know what beauty is you inarticulate egomaniac…
Your as common as they come.

I don’t walk around all the time putting everyone around me down to build myself up,
and brag about my good qualities…
Your a blah face:)

-melissa

it’s you’re
and to what are you referring to exactly? do you want to talk about it?

love raymi

also her subject heading was her own name i don’t get it?

day in the life of a postcard i wrote and addressed during summer and finally mailed last week:

happy valentine’s day everyone!

that chalk drawing is suppose to be me angry that we don’t have any more chalk and that is the one hair what grows out of my chin that fil added to it

Ryan: hi lauren
you have strange drinking stories

me: why
how is that strange
isnt it cute?

Ryan: they’re just different
yes sometimes

me: different?

Ryan: i go out drinking all the time too but i don’t seem to think about it so much
my friends, we run around town yeah but we don’t have seinfeld episodes with people

me: seinfeld episodes haha

Ryan: every time, my night is like. we drank drinks got drunk and repeated movie lines in falsettos, some of us got laid, others didn’t, nothing sounds fun about it
it IS fun but i can’t make it sound fun

me: well im sure there are funny bits the trick is to remember them

Ryan: yeah sometimes.

me: oh well that is why i am a popular blogger and you are not

Ryan: hahah

rocket skateboard THANKS DAD!

skydiving tip: WATCH FOR AIRPLANES

al kyder and terry wrist

pennies for the tollbooth man

this is what a penis looks like split in half do NOT click it at work or ever well if you want to…

i don’t think i mentioned this before anyway get ready for:

A SUPERBOWL PITT STORY.

so we go to the pour house early on with pitt to grab a sweet spot to watch the game and for your information i do not give a shit about football i only care about hockey and maybe a tiny bit about baseball and nicolas cage impressions, that’s it. the only time i cared about football was when the patriots won the superbowl when i lived in maine, was that 2002? i think so. so yeah we go to the pour house and we are boozing it and i am drinking vodka cranberries and by the time i am finishing my second the waitress goes DO YOU WANT ANOTHER CAPE COD? and i kinda shake my head and she is sort of passing by to the bar and i exclaimed I’M DRINKING A CAPE COD?! and pitt and fil exploded into laughter and i ask WHAT THE FUCK IS A CAPE COD? and she goes oh you know vodka/cranberry and i add HOW PRETENTIOUS now this amongst other minor indiscretions and obnoxious loudness from who else pitt has made us the gong show table (our bill by the end of the nite was over $200 and maybe 2/7 of it was for food) ok so bring on the guess which celebrity i am impersonating game. i try and do christopher walken and laughing at me for that one lasts about ten minutes or so. so then we all start doing nicolas cage and decide that we will talk like him for the rest of the game INCLUDING when we order from the waitress well more like ESPECIALLY when we order from the waitress well actually ESPECIALLY WHEN PITT ORDERS FROM THE WAITRESS.

so he does his nic cage a few times and then after this fucking platter shows up (when pitt is wasterrs he likes to order ridiculous shit off the menu, typically heart attack platters that’s why he is so thin) the waitress is walking away slowly kind of confused over why pitt sounds like a fogey having an orgasm when he talks so she turns around and points to herself while asking if we are making fun of her and i started laughing and said no no no he’s just impersonating nicolas cage, to which in hindsight sounds like total bullshit so we start eating the platter and pitt gets some vietnam paranoia and is convinced our food was spat in and why isn’t fil eating any if not? omg.

he said it must have been spat in cos of the first time he did nic cage it planted the seed of doubt in her mind and then for her to say something about it meant that she confirmed in her mind that we were. oh whatever pitt.

fil and i were practising nic cage in bed last nite cos he was on leno he is fun to impersonate.