here are some things that people say that make me want to shove them down some stairs:
1. when there is something in my eye and i am poking at it to alleviate the pain or get it out of there i say THERE IS SOMETHING IN MY EYE and then some douchefuck says YEAH, IT’S YOUR FINGER.
duuuuuuude, wrong. thing. to. say.
i am in obvious discomfort and then you have the nerve to say the gayest most time-wasting thing EVER to me and you’re trying to be funny about it too even? nice going, FRIENDSHIP FUCKING FINISHED stick that in your eye.
2. when i ask fil to take my boots off (of me) he says BUT I’M NOT WEARING YOUR BOOTS and this happens almost every nite so i am forced to re-word my request and then i flub it up please take the boots i am wearing off of me but this is too wordy to say when you are wasted and tired omg i hate fil sometimes.
i can’t remember the other things at the moment but i of course will let you know as they come back to me.
merkley???: you are totally gonna win thanks entirely to me and my amazing campaign management
me: do u know how many people are taking credit um how about i win cos i write the blog that all you fucks are reading
merkley???: but i’m the only one who is right i dont read your blog
me: how many people go to your blog
merkley???: i skim
me: yeah right
merkley???: 10k per day on my flickr BEAT THAT!
me: yeah blog BLOG not flickr
merkley???: how many visit your flickr? oh maybe 2 3 people
me: dude it is not a flickr awards contest
merkley???: anyway you can just thank me instead of being a boner I MADE YOU WHO YOU ARE
me: i blogged before i even knew about you and then once i knew about you i hated you cos you were a dick
merkley???: liar
me: NO ONE GETS MY HUMOUR ON THE INTERNET WAAAAH thats you well you remember u said something and i took it totally seriously
merkley???: yeah what was with that shit
me: well it was likely during a time when i didnt moderate and so everyone was flaming me cos they are pathetic fucks
merkley???: you were tony peircing out
me: so everyone who said something even remotely negative i flew off the handle over it
merkley???: you never said anything to me
me: someone today said my stomache was larger than life and i should stop eating boogers
merkley???: ha ha thats kinda funny
me: wtf no it isnt it’s the way i am standing in the mirror
merkley???: oh
me: um no its not it ruined my day u fuck
merkley???: well out of context its a funny comment but yeah
me: anyway the point is people daily need to say something to bring me down
merkley???: i hate that when commenters are purposely trying to piss on your party i get that once a week on flickr
me: yeah like wake up watch tv say something mean to raymi go to work etc etc
merkley???: some jealous photographer that cant deal with all the positive coments
me: we are talking about me right now merkley
merkley???: “Do it for the victims of Hurrican Katrina.” ha ha funny comment dude you look hot shut up
me: ok yeah i was going to do a post about all the charities that would benefit from my weblogs victory but i dont know any cos i am selfish i am basically my own charity
merkley???: so are you aids or breast cancer or an orphanage? pick one
me: runaway teens i am
merkley???: addicted to robitussin gluesniffer relief dot org here’s you: for every vote i receive i will sniff a huff of glue for a runaway
me: i am the families affected by jonestown society ha
if you put one of those weblog awards badges on your blog and leave me a comment telling me you did i will link you all in a post you also have to say VOTE FOR RAYMI’S BLOG duh. change the url so it goes directly to the voting page. here is the link for the page where the buttons are if you want to choose your own size.
this is the direct link to the best diarist voting box.
link to that shit on your blog, say something nice and convincing about me, let me know you did it and i will put yer name in a post. cinch.
**IF YOU ARE GOING TO POST A BADGE YOU NEED TO CHANGE THE URL TO THE DIRECT ONE WHICH IS THIS:
THIS IS A DRAWING OF ALL THE THINGS I AM FANTASIZING ABOUT EATING RIGHT NOW COS WE NEVER SEEM TO HAVE FOOD IN THE CONDO ON SUNDAYS AND I AM LOSING MY MIND BECAUSE OF IT.
please stop saying shit like COULDN’T BE BOTHERED TO VOTE FOR YOU just go vote you come here everyday you read for free just fucking vote for me stop being a dick you find the time to go online and check yer regular sites help pass the torch to me i am the only canadian in this category DO IT FOR CANADA come on think of how much more obnoxious and entertaining i will be once i am best diarist it will be worth it i mean i already AM the best don’t lie to yourself about that but i need that little first place badge thing on my sidebar so VOTE dangit! now! the site is receiving a lot of traffic so sometimes the loading is fucked no worry just try it again later don’t forget please and thank you.
I AM THE MAGICAL BAR FLY FAIRY DOING DANCES AND CASTING SPELLS OF DELICIOUS BEVERAGES AND PRAIRIE FIRE BLACK-OUT SHOTS AND FOODSTUFFS OF CHICKEN SALAD SAMMICHES AND PAKORAS AT 230AM HOCUS POCUS POOOOF.
OH WAIT WHAT HO HO LOOK NOW I HAVE CASTED A MYSTICAL SPELL OF HAPPINESS UPON THIS LITTLE FOREST SPRITE BEHOLD ITS IMMEDIATE EFFECT DO NOT MISTRUST MY SPELL CASTING CAPABILITIES FOR YE MAY FIND YESELF TOUCHED BY THE BAR FLY FAIRY IN THE VERY NEAR FUTURE TOO HIC.
yes that is yet another birthday gift i got fil to open i am really bad at surprises though i’m adding another gift to the pot. last minute i was not really keen on going to see magneta lane just cos and fil got sad so i said ok i will go on one condition and it is that you have to open a present from me AND i am not paying for any of the cabs ok that’s two conditions but fil was too blinded by the t-shirt to realise. i bet if he weighed 350lbs and wore that t-shirt he would be a vice do.
THIS IS WHAT AFTER A PRAIRIE FIRE SHOT LOOKS LIKE RIGHT AFTER I DECIDED TO NOT BARF IT ALL OVER THE FLOOR WHY AM I YELLING?!
earlier that nite we hit up a birthday party in the burbs and fil turns into creep0 2006 ew there was a dead moth larvae on that pom pom on the santa hat and he left it there i fucking hate that rock and roll santa and i hate even more that fil felt obliged to BE HIM.
that’s alex he was pouring me tumblers of red wine all nite then made me a tipsy eggnog and chris his cousin was wearing my bling necklace and being all wanksta so i said um where is your gun and he said in my sleeve and i said YEAH YOUR OLD NAVY SLEEVE? ahahahahaa sigh.
that’s sheri we were having microphone wars what else is new she has pretty hair.
right cos the first thing that comes to mind during the holidays is ROCK AND ROLL.
what’s up dood? nothin’, juss’chillin.
i <3 tarley cos he parted the red sea get it? moses beard joke? laughing? whatever.
alex looks baked all the time, doesn’t smoke weed though. interesting.
eggnog party of 1
they always get huge pregnant-looking trees like this i like dems
fil says this looks like a bong i say how does fil know what a bong looks like?
i told fil not too long ago that i wanted to make a wreath and he was like oh no NO WAY and i was like dude you are just jealous of my potential wreath-making skills and how i will sky-rocket to fame because of them so you tell me “it’s a stupid idea” to belittle me out of following my wreath-making dreams. dick. i was merely trying to explain how wreaths are total cash cows and mostly an un-tapped area and i could be really rich but he just talked over me anyway guys are stupid this is how i will get disgustingly rich someday just wait and see oh yes. people are lazy and stupid and will pay a lot for a fancy looking wreath that i made from forest garbage hello, martha stewart!?
