MOVIE REVIEW TIME *spoiler alert

rented the wicker man last nite and it was nothing what i expected, and i don’t mean bad either, it’s quite enjoyable and engrossing actually though one of the more prominent thoughts one might have whilst viewing it is AND WHY THE FUCK DOES NICOLAS CAGE NOT HAVE AN ASSAULT RIFLE?!

dude shows up to this private island where-in reside a colony of cuckoo bitches and he’s looking for this lost girl and he’s running around all in a frenzy and no one is helping him and he keeps having these flashback hallucinations of this other little girl in a car accident that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MOVIE other than the fact that it caused him to go on stress-leave from work (he’s a cop) and naturally he conducts his own little investigation during this stress-leave that involves the most stressful work EVER on a remote island without phone service and a bunch of bees and yes duh he’s allergic to bees too, perfect, none of the dudes on the island talk they’re like man-slaves and it’s pretty frustrating to see. fil said i should go live there cos of that in fact, insisted i should go to where men don’t talk anymore. haha.

the chick who plays his ex, mother of the lost girl, has these massive cocksucker lips and huge googly blue eyes and the majority of the time you are picturing yourself pressing various body parts of yours to her lips, just saying. she also has this annoying way of answering questions where she pauses and then repeats what she says once she FINALLY FUCKING SAYS SOMETHING.

if you saw it in theatres tell me what the ending was in an email please cos the dvd has the “shocking” ending only.

oh yeah everyone dresses like the lord of the rings in the shire it is a most welcome surprise. hmm i gave stuff away without actually giving stuff away. go see it.

woah i just googled the wicker man and found a bunch of nudie pics from the original so renting that.