me: ok you know how you convinced me to get fil a bbq
well i did
and i bought 4 pc utensil set
charcoal
and liter fluid

merkley???: cool

me: and i bartered into getting a 10% discount
everything came out to be 180$
and then i had to get him to come pick me up cos i couldnt carry it

merkley???: plus steaks

me: no steaks
so this dude helped me put it in the backseat
this was saturday
and so fil doesnt look back at it or anything
and then hes kinda guessing and then figures it out once i drop major hints

merkley???: shhesh
get control

me: then he says oh we arent allowed to have charcoal bbqs, cos of by-laws

me: !!

merkley???: oh

me: and so i cried like a baby all the way home in the car and up the stairs
and now we have to return everything and i am embarrassed and want to die

merkley???: and i’m watching curb your enthusiasm right now
and i feel like larry david

me: anyway i dont ever want to shop at that store again cos i was kinda being lippy to one dude

merkley???: awe

me: who was being all know it all meanwhile i knew everything he was saying
so i said to fil i am not returning it with him but i have to cos i have to help carry the charcoal and the utensils and the lighter fluid
so when fil walks in with it i am going to dump everything on the counter and then run away

merkley???: that
ha ha

me: and then avoid that entire block for the rest of my life
i should have just bought him a fucking rocket

merkley???: oops

me: so this entire day i have been scared and anxious and depressed because of that bbq
so i just wanted to say THANK YOU MERKLEY FOR CONVINCING ME TO GET FIL A BBQ

merkley???: it was your idea
i just supported you

me: yes but you talked me into it
you tricked me
ps you are not larry david
so dont tell me to get control

**UPDATE**

me: ooooh i just relaised that i dont have to go in to help fil return
i have to just watch the car
yay

merkley???: nice

me: ha
the thing i am worried about tho u will appreciate this insignif thing seeing as u are a larry david fan now
i did not receive a 10% discount on the liter fluid i purchased it separately as an after-thought
and i also cockily chucked out the receipt for it

merkley???: and they will dick you on it

me: so i paid full price 4.55
well provided they even let him return it

merkley???: so gay about the bylaws

me: they will prolly give him a store-credit
now cos i am being a pussy about not returning it with him i will not be able to argue about four dollars and fifty five cents which i am bummed about
cos it’s the principle

merkley???: very larry david for sure

me: i hope he gets the same guy who was there who cashed me out
i think he was chinese
are chinese people notorious for their memories?

merkley???: nope
just slanty eyes

me: omg merkley
i am going to have to edit that out

merkley???: no way
its funny

me: well my part was funny you just jerked it up

merkley???: unless you actually hate asians which i suspect you might
you didnt even ha hahaha
you are blameless
its all on me

me: i have a massive asian obsession actually

merkley???: well they are fantastic drivers

me: also when i was there impulsively buying up the world to which they probably think i am a lunatic i was bragging about working at a hardware store, same company, diff location, for five years
well i politely mentioned it once