TWO YEARS AGO TODAY
i smacked my head on a doorframe under the stairs of alex/kane/sherri’s new place today. i was in this fun little storage space, crawling around with the dogs, and then it was all THUDSMACK and then UNNNNNNNNNNNgh. i had nothing to do and i was done making lame comments about butternut squash and karate poses and everything was unpacked for the time being and they were too polite to let me dust/clean/move furniture so i just had to entertain myself by playing dungeons&dragons with the dogs.
no one laughed aloud when the THUDSMACKBANGMORON noise happened ‘cos it sounded pretty painful but it wasn’t really, just sounded that way and i wasn’t bleeding though should have been kuz i had hit the frame pretty hard, boggin’ my noggin’ at quite a sharp angle.
i was more concerned with my recovery line which was, “i’m ok it was just wood.”
i also hugged and kissed the dogs a lot and let them eat my hair because i am part autistic and i only leaned against the freshly painted walls once and messed up the paint, ok well, i leaned the bedframe against it as well, so i guess that counts as twice.
that’s me on the right with the short-dyke hair trying to be as far away as possible from the frat-like shenanigans because i felt uncomfortable with the whole fitting-in thing. for the most part everyone was friends before our exchange program to england began and had formed cliques, you know, that schoolish crap that’s exhausting and a total waste of time when you’re [me] trying to get shitty and be above it all and have one-nite-stands and have totally awesome stories to tell at breakfast the next morning while jilly and sally are talking about dad’s credit cards and the ugly purse they got from harrod’s which cost 90 quid.
gay dogs, not lying.
this one guy got his face totally messed up by these punks in oxford and he was rushed to hospital. they smashed his face with a brick ‘cos he was a mouthy stupid rich kid in their part of town, and was “marketably attractive” before this whole brick incident occurred.
the moral of the story is – don’t mess with british punks when you are a white canadian boy who looks like eminem.
