and now for another story about how great and selfless i am.
we were walking to varsity to see borat and i see this woman sitting on the sidewalk and she is pregnant and all her shit is scattered and i’m thinking holy ghetto and unfortunate for a homeless crazy to also be close to nine months pregnant but then i realise oh right she’s fallen or fainted and can’t get up so we go over and fil gets his fone out about to call for an ambulance or something and this other lady went to her aid the same time as us and we helped her up and i let her lean on me bla blah and it happened two feet behind her car with her kids and mom in it and they had no idea so i go over to the passenger side where the mom is and i’m motioning for her to roll down the window and she is terrified of me like i’m a homeless crazy so then i motioned to my stomache and made a half arc swoop like i was pregnant and she was even more confused and terrified but by that point the pregnant lady walked over to the driver’s side and got in and then the mom opened her door and i’m like your daughter fell down right behind you she’s all out of sorts bla bla and then we left and the pregnant lady yelled out thank you.
oh and we didn’t see borat at varsity it was sold out but we went to paramount and saw it there and then went to the blackbull where i stared at these girls i thought i knew from highschool/elementary school and i was sizing them up to see how much they had aged, gotten fatter to gauge whether i should go over and say hi but i wasn’t sure if one of them was this one girl who was my best friend for a 2 year period so i pretended i had to go outside i mean i went outside pretending there was a reason for it and passed the table and saw that it was her so i went over to fil and was like ok it’s go time, i went back to the table and crouched down and i go hey and jessee goes um hi? and i pointed at myself and said I AM LAUREN WHITE and she goes OH MY GOD FUCK HOLY SHIT NO WAY etc and we shoot the shit for a bit she’s engaged and a nurse and she’s going to marry a cop i’m like holy adult but i couldn’t help but feel like um you are defining yourself by the fact you are engaged i mean i don’t want to hear about some dingaling i want to know shit about your life anyway she goes who are you here with and i motion over to fil and say him and she goes oh he’s cute and i say yeah, he’s alright haha.
then we went to the horseshoe to watch the rest of the game where we sat beside this drunkard polish guy who sounded like borat and he went on and on and on about canada and music and he said so much shit i want to take a nap it is so exhausting thinking about it anyway other people at the bar got him quoting borat and that was funny at least.
and then we went to this pub in the club district i forget the name of but is essentially a place for toolbags and busted paris hiltons and fil and his school buddies destroyed my already destroyed steelers hoodie and before we left joel (fil’s friend) was showing off his hugging skills and all these guys start hugging each other and giving tips like MAKE SURE YOU GET PARTIAL FACE/CHEEK TOUCHING haha then we went to meet samir and sharpie and stefan at czehoski’s and this was at 1am so you can imagine how toed-up i was at this point and then i drank champagne with this cute blond girl who was dating the dj who turns out went to grade school with fil and i was like to sharpie THIS GIRL IS TALKING TO ME SHE IS PAYING ME ATTENTION WEIRD and i know the only reason why is cos of my cram cream pink purse that lise gave me for my birthday so thanks lise for the pussy magnet purse! oh her name was rachel and we were out smoking and yelling beastie boys songs and she knows more lyrics than i do and dudes across the street were like aw yeah and singing with us then her boyfriend/dj came out and asked her to stop embarrassing him haha. anyway i was all hey let’s double date we can go to bed bath and beyond!
Fajna z ciebie laska wpadnij kiedys do Polski :)))
what does that mean?
