me: i want a sour cream gun the one they use at taco bell
just a heads up

Phil: um ok menses

me: im serious
im googling it right now

Phil: the sour cream gun?
why
what for

me: SOUR CREAM
im on taco bell’s website
you’d think they would have a picture of it

Phil: ok sour cream fiend whats the big deal with the gun
you want to eat sour cream straight from the gun?

me: i like how it makes the sour cream taste better and like cake icing, the piping around a cake
i am picturing myself shooting that into my mouth

Phil: um no it doesn’t make it taste better
the stuff they use isn’t real
it’s modified so it tastes better
but is a billion times worse for you

me: yeah i know that but i dont care i want that device
i would put other stuff in it too
like
uh
sour cream
thats all i really want

Phil: boy i am hungry for taco bell now thanks so much

me: seriously lets drive to mississauga to eat taco bell then go home and feel fat for the rest of the nite

Phil: no thank you
i dont want it that badly
actually the more i think about it, at all

me: ok
well a gun like that would be awesome
then u wouldnt need forks or spoons anymore

Phil: yes true

me: u could shoot your omellete out of it
or a steak
yum
haha
ew

Phil: but you would feel obliged to eat lots of whatever you happend to have in it
like ground beef
or blended bacon

me: well just put one portion in it one meal

Phil: or peanut butter and jam swirl

me: butter chicken
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
ew peanutbutter

Phil: ew blended meat dishes is gross thanks

me: ok fine
sourcream sandwiches

Phil: beef shake, extra thick and creamy

me: ok barf

Phil: yep i win

me: im picturing going over to say samirs house for dinner and he has a few gun meals prepared

Phil: like what

me: and the host is always in charge of shooting the gun into yer mouth

Phil: this is giving me indigestion btw

me: doesnt matter just the idea of that being the way people eat in the future

Phil: scallops

me: you have to stand three feet away
kind of like homer’s make-up shotgun for marge

Phil: right yes

me: and you just get blasted in the face an entire meal all at once
that would be an interesting way to die

Phil: that wouldn’t be enjoyable

me: ok ill shut up now obvs i havent eaten anything today yet

Phil: you need to chew and savour
what will we eat then
yo?!

me: NACHOS

AND THAT CONCLUDES ANOTHER ONE OF RAYMI’S CRAVINGS!