if you have a question email it to raymitheminx@gmail.com don’t be a smart ass either well if you want to fine but i will only tear you to shreds ten times more.

ASK RAYMI

Raymi, what’s up girl…

Hey, there is this chick I broke up when I cheated on her…. and now I moved (but not that far away) and she hasn’t been talking to me (she has a new boyfriend) …. I want her back in my life though!

Either as a girlfriend or just to talk to her again… help me out…with some romantic ways…
Thank You,
AB

Hey AB, uh you’re kidding? you’re kidding right? ha ha funny joke AB you’re a funny guy. excuse me a moment i gotta open the window, let some of the crazy out…

ok i’m back, wait, nope, still crazy in here.

anyway dude, you didn’t mention that you came clean about the fucking around so i’m guessing you got busted therefore you only want her back in yer life cos you think you can still hit it. buddy, she has MOVED ON and clearly does not want ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU, you want me to “help you out…with some romantic ways” ? how about putting that thought and effort into another woman whom you won’t cheat on you idiot.

i bet you have this fantasy in your head that you can win her back from the new guy and then there’s this dramatic parking lot fistfight and she’s like JOHNNY NOOooo and then rushes to your side and you punch this guy’s face until it’s like bloody pulp and you punch your chest going WHO DA MAN WHO DA MAN RAH RAH RAH FUCK OFF GUY SHE’S MIIINE! whatever, you are a DOUCHE and you should move further the fuck away from her and get her out of your mind. she’s not talking to you because you FUCKED UP by CHEATING ON HER.

i think for you i will do a special favor and design a t-shirt with that last sentence written backwards so when you wear it and you look in the mirror you can read it. you’re welcome.

xo raymi

yesterday paige and i drank wine and watched us some canada’s next top bla bla then hit a patio and met up with fil and samir. i was taking photos of my nipple through this flyer with a hole cut in it and this fag walks by as he’s leaving and exclaims THAT’S DISGUSTING!!!! feh. dude this is a female nipple it FED YOU WHEN YOU WERE FUCKING BORN IT KEPT YOU ALIIIIVE AS GAY AS YOU CLAIM TO BE YOU CANNOT EVER DENY THE FACT THAT YOU SUCKED A BITCH’S TIT BEFORE!

rappy mcrapperson

hands down, best music video.

first of all everyone i stole this question from a dinky love advice site so this sender has not seen my response secondly it’s a fucking joke but still the truth, where was my tough love advice when i was 16? oh wait i didn’t need any cos i was fucking dudes all over the place. anyway, don’t comment on my blog if you’re being whiny and all of a sudden grew a conscience this is raymi here, over 6 years of bitchy mean me-ness if you were expecting my little pony and marshmallows you are in the WRONG PLACE.

Johnny mo says:

oh man

Johnny mo says:

well this may seem tame to your standards but hey this is me were talking about here

Johnny mo says:

got off work around midnite and ended up going out to see this internet chick.. man i had no idea what i was in for

Johnny mo says:

one of those super nerdy types that went to a gifted school.. by far the most inceredibly awkward nerdy person i have ever met… she spent most of the nite quoting the simpsons and talking about her cats

Johnny mo says:

spitting on me with every silable

Johnny mo says:

sylable

Johnny mo says:

whatever it sounded like a job for beer

raymi says:

oh my god

raymi says:

does she have a blog

raymi says:

then what happened

Johnny mo says:

oh god no.. that is to social were talking recluse skitzo here

Johnny mo says:

so i drank my drink and moved on with the evening.. decided you know what will make this non stop babbling stop for at least a second.. a movie.. you wanna watch a movie.. sure you do

Johnny mo says:

so i bring her to my usual classy porn shop

raymi says:

haha

Johnny mo says:

they have non porn movies too but you have to dig a bit in the back.. we ended up renting underworld 2 which has a signifigant amount of gratutious sex for vampire movie

raymi says:

if u rent a movie thats nonstop talking if u go to one then she is forced to watch it

Johnny mo says:

went back to my place.. which was a bad idea.. considering its byotp.

Johnny mo says:

yeah duely noted so anyways i ended up waking up my roomates girlfriend. because she sleeps in the living room and this girl was the loudes most obnoxious girl ive ever seen.. its almost as if she was on dxm all the time

raymi says:

did u tell her to shut up

Johnny mo says:

but i was clever .. i took a number of twists turns and various detours to get to my place so that she may never find it again..im sure she must have thought i was kidnapping her.. but i cared little i was horney and buzzed

Johnny mo says:

yes i told her .. didnt matter

Johnny mo says:

in the car i slowly turned up the volume and continued to nod my head and smile

raymi says:

did u bang her

Johnny mo says:

so after minutes in the door i realise what a horrible mistake i made bringing her to my home.. so i suggested we high tail it back to her place

Johnny mo says:

where i discovered her mom in a robe and a round of 20 questions

Johnny mo says:

joy

raymi says:

OH MY GOD

Johnny mo says:

so finally we get to watch the movie on a matress in the living room as i am kicking cats right and center

raymi says:

did u have booze

Johnny mo says:

i was already pretty wasted

Johnny mo says:

not too much not to drive but enough to losten my judgement and my dignity

raymi says:

can i put this on my blog

Johnny mo says:

so finally the lights go off she shuts up my hands do the rest of the work and bang im over my ex

raymi says:

wow

Johnny mo says:

i dont care what you do with it

raymi says:

how old is she

Johnny mo says:

20 or so

raymi says:

is she hot

Johnny mo says:

she has like 2 bachelors or something

Johnny mo says:

hot.. moderately .. but for alberta i suppose shes alright

raymi says:

can u tell me any specific annoying/crazy things she said

Johnny mo says:

anyways as i lye there in my drunken sex soaked sleep at about 4 am a cat jumps down from the celing and lands square on my crotch.. as i awake in blinding pain and a voice that screams why.. i turn to my right grab my pants and run like hell

Johnny mo says:

oh god

Johnny mo says:

i dont remember. i wasnt really listening .. something about how she stabbed herself in the hand when her boyfriend broke up with her

Johnny mo says:

um what else .. actully you remember that movie saving silverman

raymi says:

yes

Johnny mo says:

you remember the football coach

raymi says:

yes

Johnny mo says:

at one point he asks for tp.. oh thats ok ill just make due..

Johnny mo says:

well that was pretty much her reaction to a tee

raymi says:

oh nice

raymi says:

well her stabbing her hand is a red flag dude

Johnny mo says:

yeah i figued that.. i also checked the towels when i got home this morning

Johnny mo says:

funny as im telling you this story dell is calling me offering me a job

raymi says:

thats wicked

raymi says:

so are u gonna see her again

Johnny mo says:

well in my haste i forgot the movie so i suppose so

Johnny mo says:

round two. this time i bring a cup

raymi says:

this time hang out somewhere with loud music and not her bathrobe mom

Johnny mo says:

ill keep that in mind..

Johnny mo says:

and if you do use this on you blog.. for all those lonely people out there.. internet daing is no lauging matter people die every day.. dont be a fool stick to normal dating.!!

ASK RAYMI

Hey Raymi,

I’m 15 years old going 16 soon and I have utterly fallen for one of my classmates. She’s not that pretty but its her attitude and how nice she is that make me like her. But there’s a few problems.

A few months ago, December to be precise, she hit on me. I thought that she really meant it and said yes but turns out it was only a dare from her twin sister. So we didn’t get together but we got closer.

But at the time I was saying yes because I felt sorry for her. After that I started to notice her and eventually fall for her. I’m not the class genius, nor the top jock. I’m the sub-geek that’s almost cool but not quite and is always nice to everyone. My friends say I look relatively good although I myself don’t think so.

I’m not confident or proud of myself. I’m usually quiet. When I try to talk to her I don’t know what to say. Its easy to chat on MSN but I cant talk to her directly. And because we were “together” for a brief period I know that she’s not yet ready for commitment. I don’t know what to do!! I don’t wanna wait too long to tell how I feel.

So to summarize it:

I like her but she won’t want to go out with me. I can’t talk to her. I don’t want to be hanging here waiting for her.
What should I do? I don’t want to ruin our friendship by telling her how I feel but I cant keep on holding it in like this.

Thanks For any help,
A

Dear A

Dude, can you get me this girl’s MSN so i can WARN HER ABOUT YOU!?! I think you need to be focusing on more-cooling yourself rather than FOOLING yourself over this girl, heh, see how fooling and cooling rhyme? anyway, you know that she’s not into you so move on, she was dared to hit on you and you obliged cos you “felt sorry for her” uh um, you are deluded – she felt sorry for YOU, not the other way around. unless you felt sorry for her for being dared to speak to you then that’s ok i would feel sorry for her too.

and this “together” time when the fuck was that, in your dreams?

of course it’s easy for you to chat on MSN and not in real life, on msn you’re boss, real life, you are a socially awkward almost 16 year old. sixteen year old highschool girls want to get with older guys, ie, NOT YOU.

you say you like her but she won’t want to go out with you, you spelled it out exactly you should make that into a big poster and hang it over your bed. you can’t force love or like or anything so let it go and get back to shakespeare dude.

ps. sub-geeks are always nice to everyone cos they have to be. bye.

pps. thanks for “summarizing it” for me because you are obviously ten times more organized and smarter than i am and i would totally not have gotten the point of your letter had it not been for you so generously “summarizing it” for me.

go to this

New work by C’est Moi Ce Soir

Opening Reception:
THURSDAY JUNE 8th 2006
7-11pm
Artists will be in attendance.

Location:
Magic Pony Gallery
694 Queen St West
Toronto ON Canada
416.861.1684

Running June 8 – July 9, 2006