ok so i’m thinking my golden 4 in the morning comedy material is not so much golden so i won’t hoard it anymore and i realise that what was meant to be me drunk yelling saying this stuff would make more sense rather than you reading it on my blog, anyway, feel free to leave comedy tips in my comments/email.

so yeh i seriously was going to hit it off with spider commentary, and be like PS. DADDY LONG LEGS WITH YOUR MINI POTATO SHAPED EVERYTHING AND RETARDEDLY POINTLESS LONG LEGS WTF!? then i realised that it wasn’t funny nor did it make sense because then someone would’ve heckled OH YEAH WELL THEIR LEGS ARE LIKE THAT FOR SURVIVAL AND OTHER SCIENTIFIC SHIT then i would turn into rage drunklor and well, you know the rest.

then i was going to make fun of fil’s friend’s parents and this eating tour party thing they were blabbing about where you start eating late afternoon and it goes ’til like 5 in the morning and everyone brings an elaborate course. excuse me? 1. you are both FAT 2. is it really like you will totally lose your fucking mind if you don’t eat something during the five minutes spent waiting for the following meal?! then i was going to harp on their son’s fiancee and her brother but then i realised this would be funny to only ONE person, me.

oh yeah then i was gonna talk about shoulder cats, you know, cats, WITH SHOULDERS!

HYSTERICAL!

fuck you.