look what noel made. noel is weird. if you want to go see it with your own eyes and touch it with your own hands this is how.

there’s a tv set inside of it and this is what is playing continuously.

also.

i have the I JUST BOUGHT SOMETHING NEW high, but then i remember oh it’s my iud and no one can see it and then the high goes away slowly. and then i want to go buy ten million somethings! my mom gave me a bunch of clothes and sandals yesterday. and i got a headband too! i’m a girl now i wear a headband!

i was thinking about anne hathaway in havoc vs. elizabeth berkley in showgirls last nite. both come from disney-like backgrounds ie. shit for kids and both went the route of boob-showing swearing film-making. but why is anne hathaway not shunned? not including elizabeth’s gratuitous crappy acting skills, i guess it’s just that we’ve matured as an audience, it’s no longer the 90s and type-casting actors is just like, whatever. that or we’re just a hell of a lot pervier and like I WANNA SEE THAT MOVIE WITH THAT GIRL INNIT COS SHE SHOWS HER BEAVER AND MY DAUGHTER HAS ALL OF HER DISNEY DVDS! and when she goes on to do something else we’ll be all about that too, whatever it may be.

when i say matured as an audience i mean it like we can group the art and the smut together and are better capable of appreciating the both without giving a big thumbs down to any work the actor takes on afterward not like when showgirls came out everyone was all THAT WHORE and it’s too bad. at least she got some cult-fame out of it and will only continue to do so in the future. i think she should write a book like screech except hers will be about the worst career move ever.

how about that pool scene eh?

there was a foreign lady white but something slavic maybe and she got on my nerves cos she took ten hours ahead of me figuring out her change but i was patient anyway finally get down to the subway and she gets on my train with the aid of some guy who says oh this one no it’s that one no no it IS this one and so she smiles and gets on and i feel bad about my feeling angry for three seconds and then there is this other woman who is not very good looking or very bad looking but mostly the former and she is with her boyfriend and she is dressed kind of lower class, not that it’s any matter to me how much money anyone has it’s just a detail i’m factoring into my observation, anyhow she is sneering at the foreign woman and her body language is all I AM BETTER THAN SHE IS and she’s shaking her head and she says to her manfriend SHES ON THE WRONG TRAIN THE WRONG TRAIN and i look up at the map and see that no she isn’t on the wrong train, she plans to go to lawrence west and our train was on the correct line

anyway i know this is stupid, i have nothing to write about myself right now so i’m writing about other people

so, i guess what i was experiencing was something like anger transference or something and passing the buck to pimple face uglyhead and i felt like leaning over and correcting her but well, it wasn’t worth it, well for people like me it is cos i dig arguing but maybe i was feeling like a classist or it would make me look like one if i said anything, anyway, i was siding with the foreigner and everytime that chick shook her head at the nice oblivious whatever lady i got madder and madder and madder.

then i started thinking FUCK maybe that’s what I look like when i’m being all cunty and negative wow that sucks.

maybe the iud thing is making me crabby i dunno but i am drinking wine now to celebrate it.

this foto and from the original page where some kid actually posted on myspace that he was gonna kill himself and linked to this page with that fucking song and the emo orange picture. lame.

had my iud changed, with no sedation, nothing. she says oh no it won’t hurt maaaybe some slight cramping, ok fine i can deal with that…

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then i’m all WHY WHY FUUUCK WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH and i was crying and then it was over and she patted me on the knee and disappeared.

finally saw brokeback mountain.

1. jake gylenahalala grows the most obnoxiously annoying moustache 2/3 they way thru the movie and it makes you want to punch yourself in the eyes

2. you cannot understand one fucking word the blond guy is saying and you pretty much go the entire movie without knowing what his name is

3. blond guy’s wife somehow is magically able to suppress her knowledge of his gayness for many years without snapping or letting him know she knows. i would’ve been all PEACE HERE’S THE KIDS YOU LYING HOMO ten seconds into finding out

4. anne hathaway’s nipples are nowhere near as dinnerplatey as i thought they were going to be and she inevitably has platinum hair and black eyebrows EW

5. when the movie starts you are TOTALLY FUCKING BORED and when it is over you are TOTALLY FUCKING DEPRESSED and then you can’t get that guitar theme music out of your head for HOURS

6. randy quaid is in it and he is fat

7. i rate this movie 5/10 – after all this time and all the big deals made over it on CNN and it was totally fucking gay not only literally but like, BOOORING, holy crap i was expecting fireworks and crazy CRAZY CRAAAAZY FUN GAY HOT SEX but jeez, WTF!?

8. michelle williams i think that’s her name looks like an elf

9. anne hathaway has cocksucker lips

10. tonite we watch havoc where anne hathaway gets nude and has a total potty mouth NICE!

LOOK i am a total innovative GENIUS i drew a sock right! and then! i wrote, get this, SOCK, IN BLUE, above it! my mind is so blown right now BLOWN!

best star wars parody yet

worst fucking sleep ever hi welcome to an evening of RACING THOUGHTS brought to you by SOBRIETY. now let’s think of every good and bad thing that has ever happened to us since the beginning of time for the next FIVE HOURS and THEN we can think of things that NEVER HAPPENED and MAKE UP SCENARIOS like they DID HAPPEN.

AMAZING!

wait what it’s 3 am? WHO CARES THIS IS SOOO MUCH FUUUUN!

now here’s the clincher NOW we are going to think of zingers and also go back through everything we just thought about and revamp it for our totally radical and very important BLOG because it is the centre of our universe and everything we say is fantastic!

and then we will think about things to say to piss off mass quantities of people in one go ok ready?

ABORTION IS AMAZING!

EVERYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 19 SHOULD SHUT UP AND LIVE IN CLOSETS!

IS IT JUST ME OR IS YOUR DAD KIND OF FAGGY?

I WROTE A SONG CALLED TRASH GARBAGE UGLY SLUTS AND IT’S ABOUT YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY! YOU’RE WELCOME!

I DON’T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT MUSIC BECAUSE I DON’T REALLY FEEL THAT IT’S RELEVANT.

EVERYONE WHO SMOKES WEED WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH THEIR SISTER!

YOUR MOM DRIVES A BUS!

THAT THING YOU DO NOW I DID IT BEFORE YOU FOUR YEARS AGO AND TEN TIMES BETTER!

i had much better ones last nite but you get the idea.