i just spent 134 dollars at h&m. woulda been less had i not got fil a cardigan thing. everytime i go there and come back with ten more somethings i already own but in different colors, fil starts crying and smashes things cos he wants new clothes too. so there you go. i got a new bag. i tried on every fucking pair of jeans there and none fit me right or look good and the dressing room girls were giving me ‘tude and i just knew they were whisper shit-talking about me. wtf it’s hard and depressing enough trying to shop for pants i don’t need some dumpy ass short bitch making me feel guilty for one extra trip back to the jeans section.
and for anyone who works in a change room and says OH THAT IS SOOOO IRRITATING WORKING IN A CHANGE ROOM AND LIKE, PEOPLE LIKE, TAKE SOOOOOO LONG AND GO BACK AND FORTH FOR MORE CLOOOOTHES!
here’s a hint slut, DON’T WORK IN RETAIL, DON’T WORK IN A CHANGE ROOM, DON’T WORK IN CUSTOMER SERVICE.
i am getting nervous about the video so i hate everyone right now.
oh the cabbie on my way there knew all about h&m and he said i have clear skin and my lip stud looks like a beautiful diamond and suits me very well. i wish he could have gone pants shopping with me.
basically the premise is a documentary of me shooting heroin for one year
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
hahaha
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
and then
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
thats it
raymi says:
oh my god
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
exciting right?
raymi says:
do you have mental problems
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
no i dont have mental problems. im just thinking about how drugs are the only thing i have ever been good at
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
or enthusiastic about.
raymi says:
well that’s the spirit
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
i need a wealthy benefactor to induldge my broken spirit.
raymi says:
how about going to rehab like you told me last week
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
im starting to really feel like life in and of itself is a fucking shit sammich. i always know what im gonna get out of drugs. and its fucking great.
raymi says:
well, ok
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
im pretty sure im gonna die soon, lauren.
raymi says:
well you need help son
raymi says:
you need a healthy hobby
raymi says:
like go on a cruise and be a bartender or security
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
i dont even want one dude.
raymi says:
well you need to change yer prespective you’re in a new york rut
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
i found myself walking around the east village looking for smack.
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
like at 4 AM
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
do you kinow that i dont even care that my friend died? people are alwsys like “what about mike?”
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
and im like
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
what about him?
raymi says:
wow
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
.
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
whatever
raymi says:
ok
raymi says:
well youve drugged yourself numb
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
no
raymi says:
wait until someone super ass close to you is dying
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
i havent done drugs in 2 weeks
raymi says:
doesnt matter
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
and mike was superass close to me
raymi says:
well
raymi says:
i dunno what to say
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
i kinda stopped caring about anything or anyone
raymi says:
you need to fucking sort yourself out and stop being emo and im gonna die nonsense, what a waste of a life dude
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
i dont know where this came from
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
it happened awhile ago
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
im not emo
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
im super calm
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
i havent raised my voice in months
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
i havent cried or gotten emotional since before i even moved here
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
i didnt cry when mike died
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
i got the call…and i bought drugs like 30 minutes later
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
hah
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
i think my problem is that im not emo
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
i wish i could get all weepy and cut myself
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
i cant be bothered anymore.
raymi says:
im talking about what you are saying to me here now like not caring and stuff, you need to start caring and i dont think it’s gonna happen until you hit a wall and breakdown which is a shame
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS! says:
you are probably right
raymi says:
you need to get out of nyc
raymi says:
i think youre being melodramatic and you are way too selfish to ever kill yourself, why deprive the world of you is what you think
so fil won’t let me go into the bathroom with him to inspect the blemish on his forehead that i nicely pointed out when he was being catty to me, so i walk in to the kitchen into a gaggle of fags with my goblet of red wine in my right hand and one sweater-vested homo dramatically raises his hand whilst telling a story and knocks the bottom of my goblet and sends a beautiful arc of red wine up into the air and it smashes down onto the sweater of another homo and everyone cheers. dude spilled something on these other fag’s couch the previous week. but the dude tells the entire party it was my fault all nite long and demands permission to fondle my boyfriend all nite long. fine, deal.
though i wasn’t made aware of how much the fondling actually was cos fil didn’t want me to kick the dude’s ass. whatever, we’ll see how you react when i tell you how much i get fondled some other nite in the future and kept it a secret cos i didn’t want you to get angry.
there is no difference here, fil being straight and fawned over, no double-standard is allowed like it would be ok if dykes grabbed at me all nite long but if straight dudes did it is not the same as fags grabbing at fil.
fag likes fil, fag grabs fil.
straight guy likes raymi, straight guy grabs at raymi.
i am going to be in a music video today for a band called major maker. i’m suppose to dress like a VICE do. i’m kinda getting anxious about it, not that i don’t already own ten hundred amazing shirts to wear it’s just i need to wear the ULTIMATE ONE! we have to bring extra shit for options, i don’t have a bag for this, melody has it, so i’ma roll in there with a huge paper shopping bag. no i will probably go buy some new clothes and a bag. sigh. life, it’s just…so, hard.
fil is jealous and sad that he is not going to be in the video and i said well they want young looking people which totally didn’t help and i was all uhhh i meant they want dirtbags? cool people? se;fiewY*POYTP. fil is too much of an adult i think. i think they want bitches only.
i hope i don’t get super nervous and pull out at the last minute like i do for EVERYTHING. ok i won’t.
in grade 8 i was on the track team, every morning i went to school early to run around the school the park the arena, down by the river, well mostly once the teacher ran by and the do-gooders it was more of an amble. anyway, i was a part of it for several months. i don’t even know why, i think one of my fat friends wanted to join and i was like ok i will too.
so the morning of our track event race against other schools i was “sick” in bed and my mom was like GET THE FUCK UP YOU SPENT MONTHS TRAINING FOR THIS AND NOW YOU’RE NOT GOING TO GO!?!
it was never my intention of racing or having any part of a competition, the way i saw it was totally different than how the rest saw it. to them i was suppose to be a “team player” and had to show my support. fuck that, i barely broke a sweat every few mornings a week i am not fucking running.
so yeah, i ended up going, i got a pretty decent place, and our girl’s team which i was a “team player” for got first place and everyone was all hey lauren aren’t you glad you went afterall, wow, first place! and like yeah guys i can tooootally sleep at nite now, thanks.
one morning we saw a pack of foxes by the river, that was cool. they have long pointy noses.
you know how you’ve seen a million movies at the theatre and then you go to the movie store and go hey lets rent this and then other dude goes uh we saw that already and you are like, oh. then you find a movie stub in your purse from a century ago and you are like WOW I SAW THAT?! LUCKY! that just happened to me, i found a harry potter goblet of whatever the crap is the most recent one ticket stub and my mind was blown.
