the shitty life of a blogger, to be linked on other shitty blogs and referenced for years to come – by raymi the minx
1. no one really updates on saturdays and even if they do, saturday posts are typically dull and vapid and snore city. except for mine of course.
2. once i finish all my blogrounds on the internet i sign onto msn and discuss blogs with other bloggers and eventually am known to say, “i wish there were more blogs like mine on the internet.” i am not lying.
3. articles about millionaire bloggers are a waste of ink, non-millionaire bloggers do not care about millionaire bloggers but once i am a millionaire blogger you are allowed to care about millionaire bloggers.
4. all bloggers shit-talk each other no matter how much they appear to be friends online every relationship made is backed by ulterior motives of coolness by association, how will i benefit from this friendship? etc etc.
5. blog gossip is never-ending and FUN
6. so many blog bitches are in love with my boyfriend and i want to set them on fire but it’s ok because i am prettier than they are and i invented fil anyway so i am pretty much like gandalf
7. i have a very short fuse and i fly off the handle very easy and sometimes i write mean stuff in people’s comments and then take it back less than two seconds later.
8. sometimes you have to pretend agree with people cos they are scary and stalker-like and they know your real name so you let them think you are stupid and fall for their shit so they don’t stab you.
9. i’ve pretty much been cool all of my life.
10. i still can’t get over how much props i got for shitting my pants and then writing about it!
11. i pretend to have a really big ego to annoy people and say things like I AM VERY GOOD LOOKING cos sarcasm doesn’t translate well and if need be i can always take it back right.
12. i don’t know why there aren’t any blogs as good as mine out there yet.
13. people fall all over themselves to get insulted by me and then they are like SCORE RAYMI DISSED ME.
14. i have a list of about 20 people so far who will potentially kill me one day.
15. what happened to my little pony?
16. one day i will be very wealthy and more famous than hell and i will leave everybody in the dust and i envision your heads as stepping stones in a filthy river and i am stepping across the river walking on your heads and on the other side of the river are A-List celebrities and they are cheering me on.
17. HAahahahaha i am very funny.
18. when people say hey raymi have you heard of bla bla bla and i haven’t but still want to seem cool i will say WELL HAS BLA BLA EVER HEARD ABOUT ME!?
19. people are like oh you are popular cos of your tits i am like whatever fat-ass.
20. ok bye.
