this is how you get people to tell you super secret stuff at parties when you meet them for the very first time and then later on you talk to their friends who they’ve known for years and are like joe blow told me this this and this and their friend is all WHAT I HAVE KNOWN JOE FOR TEN YEARS, HE NEVER TOLD ME THAT – YOU MET HIM FIVE MINUTES AGO AND HE TOLD YOU THAT!?!??!
1. get wasted
2. get joe blow wasted
3. divulge a bunch of personal information about yourself that you’ve told to various other people before in the past, bonus points for watery-eyes.
4. eye contact
5. touch their shoulder and smile a lot, nod your head
6. make them feel like they are the only person at the party and they have your undivided attention. ask the right questions, stick to the same subject, it will lead you to the juicy shit.
7. tell them a hilarious gossip bomb about someone you know
8. by now they should be telling you a bunch of secrets
9. memorize everything they say
10. act like it’s no big deal that you know this shit
so instead of meeting sharpie for dinner i made tofu chicken rice onion butter chicken whatever and shared it with fil and i am still anorexic cos amorexics eat huge portions of butter chicken.
we rented domino even though i said i would not see it again, i needed to watch some fluff. serious movies make me want to drink booze. so we drank diet coke.
skinny bitches who drink diet coke and say they drink it cos they like the taste better than regular coke are lying fat slobs and i know this because I AM ONE. diet coke tastes like chemical carbonated soup and makes me feel like shit like my insides are mutating and drying out and my head feels like i drank arsenic.
all right… so I’m speed reading your blog at work, scrolling pretty quickly. My boss walks up, looks at the screen, whatcha doing? Bang! Boobs. Two of them. Now to the casual observer this might be a bad thing, your boss catching you looking at boobs that aren’t your own. But I play the honesty card, and tell him “looking at boobs with you”. And all ends well.
haha to add to that i would be like, “excuse me last year you guys told your dad you’d wait in the car while he settled up the bill and he never did. seems to me someone owes me for two bills tonite.”
thinking about not eating makes me super irritable and tonite we’re meeting sharpie for dinner. ungh. i don’t know how anorexics can enjoy being anorexic. so many hours of my day are spent thinking about eating, what i am going to buy to cook, i dunno how anorexics fill their days and kill time. day 7 of anorexia: today i ate a piece of lettuce for three hours and now i am going to blow my brains out cos it was so fucking boring. goodbye cruel fat world.
i ripped off 90 per cent of my baby toenail saturday nite wasted. idiot.
is like being a bitter seahag the thing that people are doing in San Francisco right now
Lips & Assholes says:
its cause i hate white people like the black panthers
raymi says:
oh my god i dont hate them
raymi says:
i also mentioned the kkk u moron
Lips & Assholes says:
hahahahahah
raymi says:
yer the one who said it wasnt hip to be black right now
raymi says:
u have black guilt
Lips & Assholes says:
yeah thats part of my plan to fuck with your head
Lips & Assholes says:
i secretly want to impregnate all the white women so they have brown babies
Lips & Assholes says:
do you know about the brown babie$?
raymi says:
u were seriously angry that i mentioned the black panthers?
Lips & Assholes says:
the girls, i mean
raymi says:
i dont care
Lips & Assholes says:
i want you to write about them, but dont mention my name cause i want to do a couple of them
raymi says:
what is so cool about wearing bomber jackets and listening to public enemy and wearing black berets and blaming all of your problems on whitey
Lips & Assholes says:
but trash talk them
Lips & Assholes says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Lips & Assholes says:
that was funny
raymi says:
thanks
Lips & Assholes says:
good job
Lips & Assholes says:
but yeah
Lips & Assholes says:
trash talk the BB$
raymi says:
like that one guy on fresh prince of bel-air who wont let carlton into the fraternity cos he isnt black enough and will is all tryin’ to defend him and carlton goes, “no will, i got this one.” AHHAHAHAHAHa
Lips & Assholes says:
hahahahah
raymi says:
why do i trash talk them, i dont want a bunch of brown girls to kill me
they are a crew of girls who are known for nothing but looking cute and being at parties
raymi says:
Lax: My girls are a bunch of strong, creative-minded, and fashion-forward females that represent many aspects of the Los Angeles street couture culture… SHOUT OUT TIME! :
Lips & Assholes says:
like paris hilton, but brown.
raymi says:
wow how boring
Lips & Assholes says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
raymi says:
im sorry but this would be the most boring unfun thing to write about
