we rented DE – casted jennifer aniston cos brad dumped her and wanted to capitalize on her current popularity despite her being the worst fucking movie actress ever – RAILED last nite.

so here we go.

clive owen magically regains his british accent less than halfway through the film. he doesn’t fight back not even once to the french villain guy despite being ten bajillion times bigger and stronger-looking – HELLO KING ARTHUR?!

his daughter has diabetes you learn immediately in the film making you think oh ok she is going to be a hostage and desperately need insulin but no nothing bad happens to her not once WHAT THE FUCK!?

the wife doesn’t question clive owen’s sneaky late nite all of a sudden hittin’ the booze coming home super late behaviour NOT FUCKING ONCE!

exhibit is a fucking douche waste of space of an actor, he plays the sidekick of the french bad guy.

they introduce this detective guy more than 3/4 the way through the film YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT ASSHOLES and also he pretty much gets the last line in the movie and it was I GUESS THE LAW DIDN’T CARE MUCH FOR WINSTON something like that FUCK YOU!

the dialogue was a piece of shit the acting was terrible but still i enjoyed it all! thank you champagne!