raymi says:

to become as successful and massively important as i am you have to 1. get people to be obsessed with you as much as you are obsessed with yourself 2. be extremely defensive and arrogant 3. be funny and manipulative and original

raymi says:

there’s more but i can’t think of the word right now.

raymi says:

oh you have to come across as smart

jess – DEFO! says:

yes.,…. it’s like blogging isn’t about writing but is a cult of personalities

raymi says:

exactly make people think fuck i want to be like that or i want to be friends with them

raymi says:

being attractive also helps but isn’t necessary

jess – DEFO! says:

so it’s like a star system, like people wanna be brad pitt, but it works even better with blogs cos bloggers are random people

raymi says:

yeah, bloggers don’t get enough credit

raymi says:

but also it’s like fuck bloggers you are just some dweeb in your den on a computer FUCK OFF

raymi says:

so you are allowed to take yourself seriously only sometimes

jess – DEFO! says:

yeah but like, and im sure youll admit to it, sometimes u wanna be like FUCK MY READERS but you come back to them… okay like do u think you owe anything to your readers or is blogging just for you or something u’d do even with no readers?

raymi says:

i do it for me then my friends then my people, if i think of something funny i go FUCK THIS IS FUNNY I HAVE TO WRITE THAT DOWN

jess – DEFO! says:

but like why do you think you NEED TO WRITE IT DOWN?

raymi says:

but yeh sometimes i am like fuck everyone, it’s my compulsion so it’s my thing and people just happen to be reading it so what

raymi says:

oh cos i am confident enough in it to know that it is humorous so other people should be aware of some dumb thing that happened at the supermarket. this world is full of crap and sadness so a few fluffy posts here and there, why not eh?

for valentine’s day for fil i put on a pair of high heels, walked into the kitchen and said here look happy valentine’s day this is your present. then i knocked over a glass of red wine and it smashed all over the floor and i watched him clean it up while i lay there on the couch chastising him for not making me feel less guilty about it. his jumbolaya was totally fucking insane and hot and i got some spice into my thumb wound and lost my mind over how painful it was. we watched a program about penises and breasts too.

i’m going to see if i am able to sew now cos it is the middle ages and this is how i pay for food, making deformed felt creations and yeah.

Three Days! Three Acres! Three THOUSAND Men! says:

okay, that must be it

raymi says:

what i forgot what i said

raymi says:

cos i closed the box

raymi says:

oh wait i remember

raymi says:

you are jealous cos i am famous

raymi says:

what does your chat name mean

raymi says:

i fucking hate when u change it all the time

raymi says:

are you a 13 year old girl on the internet after school?

Three Days! Three Acres! Three THOUSAND Men! says:

yes

raymi says:

are we best friends

Three Days! Three Acres! Three THOUSAND Men! says:

us?

raymi says:

yes

Three Days! Three Acres! Three THOUSAND Men! says:

yeah dude, we are tight

raymi says:

shut up

fil is making me a surprise valentine’s day dinner right now. i am not allowed to go into the kitchen. i think i’m gonna bail on that casting call cos i am 1. too nauseous 2. hungover 3. part of my thumb is missing and 4. i am lazy.

i am angry that fil did not get me some sort of plush thing why are guys morons in general hello get your girlfriend something cute to cuddle not flowers because flowers are gay and they die.

i am hating on everything today pretty much.

the t-shirt i made for valentine’s day got delivered to fil’s mom’s and i forgot it there sunday nite because i am an alcoholic.

hi i am hungover and i cut off my thumb can i have a job please oh and do you pay cash?

HAHAHAhHAHAHAHAHAa

i think i am losing my mind.

it was hard to wash my hair in the shower cos 1. i can’t feel my hands 2. i could only use one hand cos i cut my thumb and then i put too much hair sheen goo on afterward so now my hair is incredibly greasy-feeling but good thing i don’t have to feel it myself cos i can’t FEEL! BURN!

happy valentine’s day i cut off my thumb!

ME AND SAMIR HAVE A CONFERENCE CALL LISTEN!

VALENTIN’S DAY ODE
by raymi

i am the smartest i am the prettiest

i am way cooler than meridius

my blog is amazing and it is great

i will smash you with my plate

your blog sucks i never read it

your dumb grandma wears pants that are pleated

your house smells like hot garbage

you could braid mountains from your arm hairs

yesterday i snooped through your stuff

and i left some dynamite in your mom’s muff

when you talk i want to explode

you are uglier than a toad

i don’t want to write the rest of this song

you are too ugly i can’t go on