we hung out at my aunt’s last nite who lives around the corner, she has the cutest place.

fil came home for lunch before going to his ski work thing and i was still in bed (at 11am) in my underwear and trying to be all non-chalant about it like oh hi hello yes i have gotten plenty done today, yep. i tried to think of a bunch of excuses like uhh i was making the bed and decided to lie down for a moment’s rest?

anyway, i am not suppose to have any fun tonite. i emailed samir to see what was on the docket tonite and he says we are celebrating fil’s absense. aw fil, i miss you already.

my left hand hurts arthritis-like. I HAVE ARTHRITIS NOW OH GREAT!

i removed all the diamonds from my hoochie jeans.

the juicer so far is a success minus the 30 lbs of fruit you have to buy to make a jug of drink and the gabillion dollars it costs also.

the chick who cashed me out was all there’s a 90 day return policy so i says i can use this for 89 days then return it? and she said uh, i guess, not picking up on my sarcasm and i say i’m kidding, though, people actually do shit like that? she says yes.

hmmm.

ok my new obsession is this! this! uploading all my silent videos from years and years! watch them, listen to your own music!

shit the fuck

i just got back from the mall. i bought some pants and some shirts and a juicer. i went to this hoochie mama store to get cheap jeans that will stretch over my thighs and ass and have diamonds on them and the best hip hop music was playing some chick saying i don’t want to be your baby mama if she just your friend why she callin’ at three in the morn’? wicked. i ate three chicken wings from manchu wok and watched people walk by with bad hair and big baseball hats and even bigger jackets. fil has been giving me lectures about drinking and not wanting to do it so much and i am all about that however he neglected to offer up an alterior pasttime so i one-upped him by going damnit i am getting us a juicer, well it was suppose to be for him for valentine’s day but i think we should start using it asap.

i wanted to get him a new pair of shoes but i was all i can’t drink shoes and how will i benefit from fil’s new shoes? not possible.

so it was going to be a surprise but i cracked and called him. my plan was to be sitting alone in the dark on the couch being moody and get in a mini-fight where we go back and forth arguing over what to do this evening and then he would go on his laptop and give me the silent treatment then i’d go to the kitchen and fire up the juicer and he’d be all WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT NOISE!? and i’d jump out holding a hanful of carrots and apples and go MUAHAhaHA IT’S A JUICER I LOVE YOU!

i have ideas.

raymi: Am i a pixie?

fil: Yes.

fil: What is that?!

raymi: a scab i just picked off my neck.

fil: Ew. Put your pixie scabs in the garbage!

important news bulletin

oh yeah there’s gonna be another blog party thing this month, february 17th i think i dunno fildorkynist is planning it also ciavarro will be in town so you people can meet him.

i am also pulling the bid-war thing down cos OKgo is off the bill, i’m still going to see controller controller, it’s not worth having a bid-war over. there’ll be one for metric though so keep your stupid gay metric loving eyes peeled!

i made steaks last nite for dickhead 1 and dickhead 2 and did they appreciate it enough? NO! it only took me over two hours of prepping! next time i will SPIT IN THE MARINADE! i also went outside DURING THE DAY to BUY EVERYTHING! and all you did was TALK TO EACH OTHER while eating instead of saying YUM and DELICIOUS MOST EXCELLENTIST OF MEALS EVER!

then they joked about having an intervention for me, fil says to samir hey man when are you going to get down to business of why you’re really here? i gave them both cut-eye and said IF THIS IS ABOUT MY DRINKING YOU CAN BOTH FUCK YOURSELVES!

then we had a mini-chat about samir’s online poker addiction which went nowhere and for punishment they watched 7th heaven with me and american idol and R U the girl.