today it is paige‘s 22nd birthday and this means that i can take her seriously now. heh. since we’ve gotten drink drank dronk together this means in the blog world that we are best friends, funny how that works. happy birthday you pile of oldness, look forward to your ass dropping and those fuckin’ eyes of yours sagging etc and so on. xo

BID-WAR!

out-bid some other cunty blog reader to be my date for the OK GO/Controller Controller concert at Lee’s Palace in February, you’ll be on guestlist and you can hold my jacket for me and maybe if i feel like it i will let fil come as well.

raymi says:

no one wants to sew with me

raymi says:

is it because i am fat

merkley??? says:

its because you’re bossy

merkley??? says:

like martha stewart

raymi says:

noel said it’s cos my people prefer me online

raymi says:

i wouldnt boss anyone around if they came over i would let them do their own thing and give them booze and then be super super nervous and fiddle with my hair a lot

raymi says:

i would give them a lot of compliments about their sewing also.

merkley??? says:

that cat is at least half turd

raymi says:

are people afraid of me

merkley??? says:

not many people do day activities raymi

raymi says:

some do

merkley??? says:

most people are at work

raymi says:

well they could at least skip work at least once to make a felt animal with raymi

merkley??? says:

true

raymi says:

fil came home for lunch to play katamari with me, why cant people be more like fil?

merkley??? says:

i ask myself the same question

raymi says:

well fine i am going to make thousands of dollars off of my creations and everyone else can make thousands of dollars from their stupid gay jobs

raymi says:

see if i care

merkley??? says:

you should spend ten years on a giant complicated one with every organ in the human body

raymi says:

they already have an exhibit like that at the science centre except with real bodies

merkley??? says:

FELT dammit

raymi says:

I DO NOT HAVE THE PATIENCE TO WORK ON SOMETHING FOR TEN YEARS IT HAS TO BE DONE IN AT LEAST ONE HOUR

merkley??? says:

each organ needs it’s own eyes!

merkley??? says:

start with the liver

merkley??? says:

yours

merkley??? says:

make it sad

merkley??? says:

shit i’m funny

raymi says:

ahahahaha

merkley??? says:

dude

raymi says:

someone just jangled a bunch of keys outside in the hall and went uuuuaaaahhhwww

raymi says:

like they had an orgasm

merkley??? says:

raymis sad liver will be the next cabbage patch doll

raymi says:

gross

merkley??? says:

$$$

raymi says:

i should start selling my clothes

raymi says:

online

merkley??? says:

i just like to tell everybody what to make

merkley??? says:

do it

raymi says:

why don’t you make a fucking felt body

merkley??? says:

felt is for girls

merkley??? says:

and gays

merkley??? says:

i make things out of blood and steel

raymi says:

well seriously i think my liver is pretty fucking happy with itself, it’s getting exactly what it wants and is doing what it is suppose to be doing, hangin’ with toxins

merkley??? says:

party time liver

raymi says:

i dont have grey felt, tho i have black, my liver is probably black

raymi says:

im just gonna sew a bunch of scraps together and hotglue it to a t-shirt or a piece of paper and give it a dumb name and sell it for 5000 dollars

merkley??? says:

liver is more like dark blood colored

raymi says:

oh right i was thinking of lungs

i am EXermaciserLOR! or is it excermaciserlor? there are too many ‘s’ and ‘c’ noises in that word.

it’s ok i know i am scary-looking ARRRRR!

today i finally called my family doctor’s office to make an appointment with a specialist for my IUD. for everyone who is stupid, IUD stands for intergalactic utility device and it makes you not have babies because it lives in your cervix for 2 1/2 years and christians and catholics think you are a murderer everytime you have your period because of it. there is also an IUD that can stay in you for 5 years but i’m done with having a foreign implement in my body for that long without checking it out.

so i guess i have been a murderer for two and a half years.

so yeah my appointment isn’t until late march, almost three months after the expiry date.

oh well.

the woman at the doc’s office tried to have a fight with me over who was suppose to call who and referral this and referral that so i got huffy and was all OH YEAH JUST ASK MY DOCTOR RIGHT NOW SHE WILL KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT EVERYTIME I HAVE TRIED TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH YOU YOU HAVE ALREADY LEFT FOR THE DAY and she says well i don’t have the piece of paper and i said I KNOW THAT’S COS YOU ARE NEVER THERE FOR ME TO SHOW IT TO YOU SO MY DOCTOR TOLD ME TO CALL YOU THE NEXT DAY she says yes but i can’t do anything without the paper then i said

CONSIDER THIS PHONECALL YOUR PIECE OF PAPER!!!!!!!

then she got the point.

there i am at fourteen, maybe fifteen. i am sad because i miss my boyfriend and am melodramatic. i eventually dumped him so i could have sex with 29 year olds. gross.

that’s me at 18 in new york, yup also dating a 29 year old. maybe when i am 40 i will be dating a 29 year old.

ward and i use to go to this chinese food buffet all the time cos it was 5 dollars, that was before i moved to nyc and pretty much how i got fat.

what a dyke. look at that hair.

sorry spartan!

that’s me and to your left is james. he was my promdate. i brought ecstasy to prom, shitty ecstasy, i felt nothing. i walked into a wall after drinking straight from a bottle of tequila at the after-party. i also was elected MOST HUMOROUS by the prom commity/student council and they gave me a whoopie cushion and a diploma. score! i came up with the url james uses in highschool yo!

ew.

my head looks tiny.

me in maine age 18. jeff i want that shirt back!

me and anna from berlin in toronto now i am 19 and totally fucking going crazy. that’s when i was an “online model”

i love that picture. i never met that guy. he’s an artist-something.

me with the neighbourhood kicked me out of the band gang

when noel dumped me over email (which i posted on my blog and is still up, go find it) i went to visit jamie in nyc.

this was the last art system party and i go go danced for it, more like did blow drank 50’s and walked around in my underwear and hung out with penis guy what? nice tribal tattoo. hahahaa.

here i am trying to show online masturbators that i am a “real person” and i have street-cred.

that’s me and cheryl and a penis drink cup thing and i am pretty much a misogynist and the bitches love/d it.

here we are again at mod club halloween a long time ago when it was at revival. we(i) pretty much got cheryl fired that nite from her job working cosmetics at shopper’s, i called in and left a message as her mom at 8 in the morning completely fucking wasted. sorry.

gwyneth paltrow haircut phase again.

look i’m hip before hipster was hip. that’s the same week i spent in nyc with jamie post-noel.

ok more later.

today i am going to exermacise and then i am going to spend 7 hours playing we love katamari and then when my pupils are dilated the size of anime characters i will sew some felt friends for emo kids. FFFEK! new company name! GENIUS! maybe i will sew a felt journal or a book of poetry! first i am going to try and make a cigarette for the punk rock kids.

toronto lesbian friends are welcome to come over today and make felt people with me.

we got we heart katamari and as soon as i am done sewing my felt kitty and fil eats some turkey sausages we are going to play it i am so excited.