ps. now i am afraid of farting

pps. ok i’m lying, i still am farting as much as possible but still in the back of my mind i am thinking, is this going to be THE ONE!?

so we moved. the morning of moving day i called the police on the sketchbag down the hall because i didn’t want that shit on my conscience, he was yelling at his girlfriend and wouldn’t let her leave, i’ve been through that situation myself TWICE before so i couldn’t just not do something about it. three cops show up, three. then both parties filed complaints against one another and the cops told me whatever, this is a daily thing for them, she can leave the relationship but doesn’t want to bla bla blah. fine.

when in rome, be white trash i suppose.

there is no interent in our condo so i am in an internet cafe right now. my eyes can’t stay open cos of all the dust i have been in contact with and now all of a sudden i am anal about where things should be put and i am…BEING TIDY!

i know, it’s scary. who knows how long it will last.

so far my favorite new pasttime is watching kids in the park beat each other up from our balcony and then at nite watching people let their dogs shit in the snow.

speaking of feces, two nites ago at the pub i farted and i crapped my pants and i threw my underwear out in the loo and ran home and changed pants. i dunno what the fuck that was about, my metabolism and diet must be totally insane. it was pure liquid. i was talking to fil’s stepdad and i farted once then again and i knew immediately what had happened but i didn’t want to be rude and cut off the story so i stood there screaming in my head for the love of fuck until finally i bailed and when i came back i said i had a period emergency.

when i was in the bathroom aimee called and i was like FUCCCK FUUUUUUUCK FUUUUUUUUCCKK!!!!!! and told her everything and she died laughing. i went back out into the pub and asked fil for the keys and he made me tell him why and i was like JUST GIVE THEM TO ME! and he is like not until you tell me why and i was like;

FINE!!! I FARTED AND THEN I SHIT MY PANTS! HAPPY!?

am i going to have friends after this post?

sweet jesus call this number right now, it’s free and not a scam, funny as hell DO IT!

1-888-353-7667

i just wasted a bunch of time drawing that cos i wanted to make shirts out of it but cafepress won’t let me use it cos of copyright or whatever but i think it’s only cos batman and robin are kissing, dangit.

i’m gonna see how long i can go today without complaining about something, which is going to be tough seeing as i have to pack up more shit and write a treatment. wait, was that complaining just there? if i can’t complain then i guess i can’t write anything. was that complaining again? does this mean i can’t say fuck? is ‘fuck’ complaining? i guess i can’t say ‘unnnngh’ either. maybe i should just just, not talk altogether?

i hate my life.

oh wait… ARG!

when people say don’t eat the yellow snow i want to rip their hair out of their ugly heads. that saying was not funny to begin with and it certainly isn’t funny now. yeah thanks uncle tom for that tip because i was planning on going into the backyard and eating yellow snow and then go onto the driveway and eat some grey dirty snow and hopefully there will be rocks in it.

FUCK!

i hate that you have to fake laugh along with these people because they are social retards who aren’t funny but think that they are.

i just made up a song and now it is fil’s favourite song. it goes like this:

I’M REALLY BORED AND HUNGRY! I’M REALLY BORED AND HUNGRY!! I’M REALLY BORED AND HUNGRY!! and you clap your hands between each sentence, every other clap being a double clap.

i just screamed at fil, “IT’S YOUR SHIT WHY SHOULD I PACK IT?!”

i do not like packing, i helped for a little while and now i am EXTREMELY agitated, cos of the noise of boxes and stuff moving around. the lunatic down the hall locked himself out of his apartment and completely lost his mind and screamed at his girlfriend then she hit him after he spat at her and wouldn’t give her her id back so she could leave cos he thought she was going to leave and get her dad to come over to fight him. fucking coke rage moron. then he dumped the recycling bin in the alley and now there are ten hundred catalogues and magazines and brochures rotting in the slush. my back really hurts and the dust is giving me a headache and fil is taping up boxes behind me and the sound of the tape makes me want to drink an entire bottle of vodka RIGHT NOW!

wow i am crabby.