now i remember why i was so mad at those cats for waking me up. i was having this wicked cool dream and everyone was complimenting me in it. i don’t remember why they were and what they were saying or who they were unfortunately but the important thing is that i was being complimented and i think i was rich too. but then when i went outside i changed my mind about being angry at the cats because one was sitting beside my bike waiting for me to say hi to him.

i don’t like living beside the cat lady and her 300 cats anymore because saturday morning i awoke to the sound of the craziest loudest catfight ever and it went on for a good ten minutes or so and then hungover me drifted back to sleep but then some evil woman was beating her rug somewhere in the back alley and at first i thought it was gunshots BLAM BAm BAM BAM bam BAMBAMBAMbam BLAM for twenty minutes. holy shit why don’t you buy a vacuum lady. and also there were a bunch of kids screaming and playing in the back alleyway so loud they may as well have been standing on my bed.

and yesterday i saw fil go zero to psycho in a matter of seconds when this dude honked at him for pulling out too far past the stop sign and so fil double flipped him off and made a retarded fuck you facial expression. i. was. shocked.

the coolest things i said last nite to the bartender was “don’t be skimpy with the gold.” as he was pouring us shots of goldschlager. i also shouted out SING IT GIRL when anna was singing a lauryn hill song and she goes did you hear that stupid white girl recording they threw in there and mina said uhh that was raymi.

more later.

in this town there are a bunch of those cross-walks that aren’t really cross-walks because the fancy red bricks aren’t meant to be honour-system please don’t run me over things, they’re just there for classism so you have a 50 per cent chance of smarmy fuckhead drivers to stop for you to cross though my favorite thing to do is when someone is trying to turn left through the crosswalk and there are a few pedestrians and the car is just about to complete its turn i walk out and make them wait more in the middle of the intersection because i am a self-centered bitch and i like it when their face gets all mad and they say FUCK to themselves because they have to wait three seconds longer.

if you are one of those douche bag’s who thinks everything they say is clever and important then you should do this.

i got my period super early this month for some reason and i hate going to the corner store to buy tampons there cos i don’t like those dudes knowing my cycle. word. tho fil says cos it came early this month i’ve thrown ‘em off but i don’t know how that works to my benefit. i guess it doesn’t. it’s bad enough the one guy hits on me mercilessly and calls me beeeeyuty, i likah youuuu.

so tonite i think cool and the gang ie me and people who hang with me out of pity are going to karaoke somewhere, we might get one of those private rooms but mina said they don’t serve booze in those places which means fuck that we’ll go to gladstone so anyone wanna come email me.

this is how i will be singing karaoke to you tonite, from the floor, and hopefully there will be vomit on my face or in my hair, fingers crossed.

i’m psyched cos i’m bringing my bike into town and now i can ride it up the cn tower and i won’t have to take cabs across town or take the streetcar and i can show up to places drenched in sweat and i can turn into one of those annoying bicycle riders again who think they are saving the planet because they ride a bike, fuck i hate those people. it’s like dude shut up, you ride a bike cos you are a broke-ass and you don’t have a license and you’re also a homo for putting flowers on your basket but that’s kind of cute so lets go make-out or something.

i can’t believe i am up this early.

i think i might go get another coffee. i wish the beer/liquor store were closer tho that’s pretty bad since it is only down the street which is a good thing cos if it were directly below this apartment my eyes would be permanently bloodshot and i’d wear a shopping bag for pants, you know what i mean.

i still don’t have internet working at my apartment and i am afraid to bother the boy roommate about it because he doesn’t know shit when it comes to the internet, oh well, it is kind of nice not having it work there cos if it did i would never ever leave so instead i go to mina’s and play bust a move. my roommates don’t like me and i don’t care, i’m not even trying to make it so they would like me. i am never there and when i am it’s for three minutes or i come in drunk at 3am and sleep ’til noon and they are at work and then i go out and do it again.

i can’t wait to find a nicer place.

i totally got away with not paying may’s rent cos the landlord moved.

noel is having a garage sale tomorrow. if any of you want to meet noel you can meet him tonite. or tomorrow. who cares, he’s not really that interesting anyway.

this is where noel says the garage sale is, it begins at 10am.

The garage sale is at 82 Concord
(one block west of ossington, north of college). There’ll be plenty of weird shit for purchase/barter.

i have an ear-picking fetish and i’ve been at it for a year now i think. my left ear scabs up and gets flaky dry and i pick at it until it is sore and fil waits until my face is awash in euphoria and i am totally in the pleasure-zone of ear-picking and he slaps my hand away or hits my elbow so my finger jams painfully way up into my ear and then he says i will get cancer if i don’t stop picking my ear because whatever it is i am picking at never gets a chance to heal and i am like sure it does, it heals when i am asleep and then i wake up and pick at it some more.

sorry, i don’t have anything else to write about.

i am so ghetto today cos i’m smoking butts from the ashtray and i made these sticky noodles and ruined them because i doused them with liquid hickory smoke for flavor.

iamthebest.com

i made a new shirt drawing. go buy it!