i was mean again last nite.

this guy opened the door for us on our way out for a smoke and said yep yep i take tips too and i said here’s a tip, put on a coat and there was a bit of an awkward silence then he laughed a bit and so did his friend about him not wearing a coat in the arctic hell sub zero temperature weather and then i had to ask dude for a light because the ten million i usually have in my pocket were all gone.

then some retard girls were talking about tinkling in the bathroom and some meathead put his head in and went YAAAAAAAAAAH PARRRRRRRRRRRRRRTY!

there were a lot of drunken rejects there. i am bad at tuning out other people’s conversations especially when they sound like OH MY GOD NO WAY TOTALLY AND WE WERE WEARING THE SAME THING it makes me want to walk over and flick the person in the forehead.

Jamie says:

is he really?

Jamie says:

or does he just look gay?

raymi says:

he is gay

raymi says:

and friends with michael stipe

Jamie says:

he still might want to meet you, cause you’re like one of those gay icons like madonna or cher

raymi says:

hahhahaa

raymi says:

because i look like a transvestite

raymi says:

someone told me that once

Jamie says:

pfft

Jamie says:

you do not

raymi says:

whatever

Jamie says:

a boy, maybe

Jamie says:

but not a tranvestite

raymi says:

i look like a piece of snot

Jamie says:

a ittle bit

i forgot to tell you that we got new outfits and so we are walking around going hey man look at me and my new outfit and then everyone kills themselves because they don’t have new outfits like we do and we are the only ones left on earth and so now there is no one left to show our outfits to except old people who don’t care anyway because they are wearing sweaters from 1948 and they’re like fuck you i’m eating fish and chips.

here is my rap song that is suppose to be terrible so FUCK YOU ASSHOLES and love it.

i was washing dishes and i thought to myself
i could put another bowl up on that shelf

washing dishes those damn dirty bitches
washing dishes
dishes in the kitchen
ungh!

so i’m washing china cups and i’m sloshing in the suds and i think it’s gonna be awhile
before i pull the plug but hey man that’s alright
‘cos now i’m washing knives and that’s super tight in case i get in a ninja fight

washing dishes those damn dirty bitches
washing dishes
dishes in the kitchen
ungh!

sometimes it’s such a pain when food’s stuck in the drain it makes me go insane and usually it’s pasta ‘cos i’m the parmesan pesto masta and sometimes it is rice
shut up get out of my life
who do you think you are macaroni? or some ravioli
i say holy moly it’s chicken cacciatore

washing dishes those damn dirty bitches
washing dishes
dishes in the kitchen
ungh!

it’s time to scour that pot
careful yo the water’s hot
hey man don’t forget the pan
the sauce is stuck so let it soak
while we chill and drink a coke

then we can tackle the crockery
this ain’t no mockery
i take dishes seriously
and it ain’t no mystery
outside it may be blistery
on our way to the library
to get some books on laundry
this chore i don’t take to fondly

word to your moth

washing dishes those damn dirty bitches
washing dishes
dishes in the kitchen
ungh!

i think i may have built up half baked too much. fil liked it anyhow. and he especially enjoyed the part i tried to explain to him that was the funniest, the sorry for yelling part, see? i know what’s going on.

i’ve been using the cheapest shampoo for the last week and yesterday i finally snapped and bought other cheap crap that doesn’t slip off my head and into the drain before i get a chance to lather it in. aimee came by and saw this big jug-type thing of purply bullshit and said who is cheaping out on the shampoo? busted. i said i thought i was getting a bargain and she’s like no way that’s life brand, what were you thinking?

anyway i’m using some naturals whatever now and fil asked why i chose that and i said because it’s made from koala bears, i dunno, it smells ok and they support breast cancer and it was 2.49 yo! zing.

i’m going to write a poem
i think that will show ‘em
because i got the style
that is way longer than a mile
them bitches i defile
while i eat a crocodile
and i’m like see you later
and i eat an alligator
and i’m like yo i just crush a lot
i ain’t no hater
i’m a porno rollerskater
a mix-master debater
all the egos i deflater
in that golden elevator

this poem sucks

people are talking loud outside in the alley and i want to go out and say excuuuuuse me if you are going to talk loud can you at least be discussing juicy gossip about your boyfriends and other stuff that is actually interesting for me to be eavesdropping in on? thanks. oh and can you make it so you don’t sound like you are 13 years old?

one time over summer some kids were playing in the alley and i went HEY EXCUSE ME I AM TRYING TO WORK IN HERE! and their father apologized and they went away because they thought i was a stressed-out student even though it was summer (no school) and i was playing alchemy or something.

mean mean mean i like mean i like mean.

things that turn me into a monster

people who walk slow in large groups and then you have to follow them for a little bit and then you finally have a chance to get by them and walk to where you are going and then you are finished and walking back and they are still walking slow and they give you this look like oh there is that girl who walked faster than we did

and they kind of scowl like they are in charge of the sidewalk

it makes me fucking insane

who are you to think you have the right to be mad at me

i’m the one who is mad at YOU and now you’ve flipped it so that i am the bad guy

so then i have no choice but to walk amazingly fast and cut through all of them like the biggest bitch there ever was and i am in a hurry to go save someone’s life but really i am in a hurry to watch television and eat popcorn.

speaking of popcorn

listening to the bag rustle and the popcorn shake around makes me so mad

i can’t describe it

ask fil he knows all about it and he use to appease my mental retardation by letting me pour it in a bowl but now he refuses and so i have to sit through bag rustling and my eyes get squinty and i shush him every ten seconds and lean way forward towards the tv so that i am one with it.