went to the back in the day scumhole last nite. same old bullshit. white guys who think they’re detectives of coolness and make a big deal of shaking each other’s hands for all to see. dude, you saw each other two hours ago so fuck off with your long lost brethren crap, you hang out every day of the week.

all of a sudden hanging out with your white trash homies means big sideways HYEH GUY hand shakes, like they saw it in a movie and passed word around about it and said let’s do that mang.

um are you the mafia? is this new jack city? why are you wearing sweatpants and dancing around to gwen stefani and when you make eye contact with your friend you immediately shake hands in that fucking way? is this the end scene of american pie where jason biggs is looking around at all of his friends dancing with their red cups of beer and then he nods his head to them and they all nod back one after the other smiling like goony fucktards like ya dude we suuuure accomplished a lot but we made it out ok?

anyway, if you and your friends practise the faggoty art of self-important hand shaking and you also think that lil john is a musical genius then you can just fuck off.

i am so getting my period today.