i don’t feel like doing anything today or tonite, you know that feeling? but then it will turn into everyone going to do the thing and you’re sitting around not doing it thinking that your clever stand off is so working and then last minute you go ALRIGHT i’ll DO IT. FUCK.

it’s probably because my hair is all messed up it is making me feel arty and weird and lazy and eccentric when really i just have messed up hair and there is nothing eccentric about me other than anecdotes about my cat who is dumb and cute.

i’m getting bored of my headrapist or i think he is getting bored of me because when i am finished talking about my little updates of the past two weeks i stare like i am in deep-thought or i am scowling and he thinks this means i am really sad and so he goes into a lengthy metaphor spiel and sometimes i forget to pay attention and by the time he is done i go mmmhmmm you’re right, that’s good advice or a good way of looking at it and so on.

i think we both used up all of our material the first 3 or 4 sessions and now we just wait for the hour to be up. me with a lot of vacant staring and avoiding eye-contact and him looking like the curb your enthusiasm guy with his fingertips pressed together and then we talk about movies that he has seen and that i think are stupid but i act like they are good movies and that i will go rent them immediately and sometimes he tells me the same metaphor he had already told me and i act like he hadn’t told it to me before and so when he begins telling the metaphor/story i realise he has said it before so i get hyper-anxious and worry that my face will give it away that i already know it and if i nod too many times or not enough times he will know when really i should have gone yo dude you told me this already, you are fired.

but i can’t do that because i am polite to people i guess.

and so when he is done speaking i go woah, that was, deep.

see you in a couple weeks.