this is how i feel when i have to take a shower because i hate washing my face and taking off clumpy slept-on mascara in the shower/bath it makes me want to run away i hate it so i dilly-dally as much as i can before getting in there

one day i think shortly after moving to toronto i decided i am not going to wash my make-up off anymore before i go to sleep, fuck that with a capital F! this was three years ago-ish and i have kept my promise to myself of passing out with make-up on and smearing my eye make-up around when i am sleeping so i can look like courtney love in the morning when i go for coffee and everyone is like woah totally awesome it’s a rock concert in here paaaaaaaaaaarty!

and so somedays i wake up and i think my hair is amazing-looking and everyone else will think so also and they will congratulate me in the street for sleeping the best way and it stays awesome for a little while until i turn OCD on it and touch it constantly and lie on it and jam it in my ears and so on and then i have a nervous breakdown and have a 5 minute i hate my blond hair rant everyday at 6 o’clock and then i get wasted and think that i love it, wait, what am i saying?

i hate showering because i hate drying my hair afterward and straightening it and if i don’t do that it dries into crackly hippie-hair and then i will have to wear a poncho and play hacky-sack and live in a tree fort and i went to all this silly trouble to growing my hair and being one of those vain long haired girls so i can’t cut this hair off because then more attention will be brought to my fat drunk face if i have short hair again so i am stuck with tatty hair.

tatty is a funny word.

so that is the magical shower curtain that has brought so much joy and enhancement to our lives and i told chris last nite that i bought a new shower curtain and he said did you get the one that’s an atlas so you can feel smart when you are taking a shower and know where bosnia is and then fil said that he wanted an atlas shower curtain and i don’t remember what i said exactly though it was probably something bitchy and my tone was probably defensive and i don’t think that any of the words matched together properly, come to think of it.

so now that there has been discussion over an atlas shower curtain and the potential of one we can cut up the disco dick tease one (credit MG) and make matching trench coats out of it.

and then we can slam shopping carts into the back of fancy cars in wal-mart parking lots but maybe we’ll save that for valentine’s day.

i was like yo cid what’s up biotch and he is like nada raymi don’t be messin’ and i was all dude it’s hard to rock a rhyme and he said true enough though i like to kick it oldschool with the beebop and the rocksteady etcetera and i said oh ninja turtles, DOPE! and then he complimented my sweater and said it was tight because he is the jay-z of cats.

i even called my dad about the shower curtain because we rock this fishes one and it is like you are showering in heaven and i wanted aimee to experience that too at her new apartment but i didn’t bother getting the full name of the place where my dad got the fish one and speaking of my dad he called me yesterday all concerned because someone made a swastika on our front lawn in the snow and so he stamped it all out but then yesterday before my brother and i leave the house, brotherraymi decides to make a new swastika in the snow as a joke on my dad and i told him not to but he did it anyway and so my dad calls me again saying that another swastika was on the lawn in the snow and this time closer to the house and there is a conspiracy against us and i felt really bad and said that it was brotherraymi who did the second one and we had nothing to do with the first incident.

anyway.